What to reply when people constantly ask when are you going to work/how can you afford to be off?

56 replies

Sockmate123 · 14/05/2025 17:24

Currently on a career break and I'm getting so many comments/questions like this. Do ppl that are permanent SAHP's get this? I'm loving being off tbh and would love to extend it!

OP posts:

LandSharksAnonymous · 14/05/2025 20:32

I’m about to take SUPL. I take it every few years for 2-3 months and often get asked how/why.

Last time, I told the nosy twat person that I planned to raise baby piranhas and then release them into the Thames as part of an operation for the CIA to fuck with our eco-system.

I’m about to go on another few months SUPL. I imagine my reasoning this year will be equally ludicrous. Perhaps starting a breeding programme for a crocodile/dolphin hybrid.

I could tell the truth (that I am literally raising baby sharks) but if people ask stupid questions, or nosy questions, they get stupid answers.

tinytemper66 · 14/05/2025 21:35

Mind your own fucking business…

fruitj · 14/05/2025 21:53

A lot of people at work asked me, when I took a month's parental leave. I think they were genuinely trying to work out if it was something they could do too, so I would have to explain they are entitled to request it but it is unpaid leave.
I just said "I have savings to cover the month off", which was true.

Original poster

Sockmate123 · 14/05/2025 22:00

ARichtGoodDram · 14/05/2025 18:28

I think i will just say I'm lucky to be off. Both kids have additional needs, DH works abroad alot.

You don't need to say that you're lucky.

You're looking after two children with additional needs. People questioning that should mind their own.

I have "well carers allowance is just sooo lucrative..." for anyone that pushes me, only had to use it twice and thankfully both shut up at that point (they are both aware of my DDs health).

I refuse to say that I'm "lucky" to be off - if I was lucky then my DD wouldn't need full time care and I would be able to work.

Gosh, you are so right! Thank you for posting. I didn't even think of it like that. I never do though and have a habit of letting people say shit to me 🙄 my kids needs aren't obvious so I suppose that makes it more difficult

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Original poster

Sockmate123 · 14/05/2025 22:03

Shinyandnew1 · 14/05/2025 18:39

Both kids have additional needs, DH works abroad alot.

If you know someone well enough to be telling them you don't work, I'd give them the genuine reasons! I presume you're not going up to random strangers in Tescos and telling them you don't work.

Today it was a nosey neighbour and receptionist at the beauty salon (lady in her 60's)

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GLC789 · 14/05/2025 22:08

I extended my maternity leave to 2 years. 15 months of which is UNPAID. I'm fine with it. I planned it. But jeepers meeeeeee!!! The questions, the judging!!! People cannot seem to fathom that I made this choice.

Are you bored? No, I have a 1 year old, I am certainly not short of stuff to do
Do you feel your missing out in stuff you can no longer afford? No, I planned this time off, both financially and emotionally, together, with my Husband, who is happy to fund baby chino dates for life!

I understand it comes from a place of curiosity, but legitimately, one of my best friends (mo kids single) has asked me these questions nearly every month for a year now 🤣. It's tiring.

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