To think that we are indeed an island of strangers, but…

[jewelcase]

…it’s not to do with immigration.

I definitely feel like we have less sense of belonging and community than a generation ago. But I think it’s more to do with the atomisation and monetisation of our culture than immigration.

30 years ago we all watched the same TV because there were only four channels and you couldn’t watch whatever, whenever. Soaps and Saturday evenings and Christmas Day got 20m+ viewers.

We all saw the same films.

We all listened to the same music. The Top 40 was big news and everyone knew who was number one.

Going to a sporting event or a gig was relatively cheap, so available to all.

The news was the news. There weren’t ten versions of it to pick a favourite from, one for every political persuasion.

Now all that is gone. We exist in little bubbles. We have been gifted endless choice and have all chosen different things. Where groups do exist, they’re often online rather than in real life, and often goad from a distance rather than seek common ground in person.

We are an island of strangers. Nothing to do with immigrants though.

I have just listened to this and found myself fascinated.

I know it’s a gender based discussion but take out that focus and it’s a deep discussion into community, personal responsibility and societal structure.

It goes back further than the internet. Lots of societal changes over the past 50+ years.

Most people no longer have "local" shops they can walk to so less opportunities to stop and chat to neighbours on the street or in your "corner shop".

Most people don't have to luxury of being a stay at home parent so are rushing around juggling school runs, work, shopping, caring for elderly relatives etc - no time to stop and chat.

Few "local" pubs anymore, so instead of walking to the pub at the end of the street for a drink or two in the evening among your friends and neighbours, you now get a taxi to the local town instead (or stay home with a bottle/cans bought from the supermarket).

Broken families, so children spend half the week in one place, and half the week in another, so not "playing" in the same area where they go to school so not making "friends" where they live who they go to school with.

Kids don't go to their nearest school anymore - neither primary nor secondary. Primary kids go to whichever school is handy for parent's journey to/from work. Secondary kids go to one of several schools. Our son's primary was feeder for no less than 10 secondaries - only 2 kids in his class went to his secondary! That breaks up early years friendships.

School leavers don't go to a local college anymore, they don't get local jobs anymore. Many go off to Uni a few hundred miles away and never return to live nor work in their home towns - again, breaking early year friendships. My son has no contact at all with more than a couple of friends from primary nor secondary schools - they're all spread over the UK.

To an extent the internet has actually been a good thing to act as a sticking plaster over the societal changes. In my son's case, it was invaluable when he started Uni in the middle of Covid lockdowns, and again when he started working in a new city after leaving Uni, no local friends, etc - the internet kept him sane and helped with the transitions.

All true. And none of it to do with immigration. If we want to feel less like an island of strangers, we need to be open about what’s caused it and the trade-offs involved with remedying those things.

Or a football/rugby team? Certainly a shared sense of community in Cardiff on a match day.

As immigrants to the UK in the pandemic, when everyone was not able to mingle, we did the following things to feel a part of the community as quickly as possible:

Volunteering
Joined two hobby clubs
Went into work 4 days a week though I am allowed to WFH
Sent food to my neighbours to get to know them at Xmas.