Page 32 | To stop my son from presenting as Jewish at school

Wonderberry · 2025-05-12T23:52:42+00:00

I really wish this wasn't the case. My son wants to wear his kippah (skullcap) at school. This is entirely his choice, and something that he has chosen to start wearing recently. He just wants to express his religious and cultural background. Unfortunately, I don't feel like he would be safe to do so. I hate that this is where we are at currently in the UK, but I know it is the reality. He goes to a community school in London, and doesn't understand why he cannot wear his kippah at school. On cultural days, he also cannot share his culture either.

Dangermoo · 14/05/2025 00:00

Wonderberry · 13/05/2025 23:55

To answer why he has been forbidden to share his culture on cultural days: this is tricky. He wanted to talk about his Israeli heritage, but was told this was 'political' and was banned from this. To note, this was entirely his own idea, and I had no idea he had planned to do this.

I was reluctant to disclose he has Israeli heritage (but not nationality), as I thought it would lead to derailment. However, that has already happened.

Regardless of a child's heritage, religion or nationality, they should not face discrimination though. The same applies to adults.

I am crying for you and your little boy. I know you will have and will continue to receive lots of love on the reactions to your updates. You're a very brave lady and that goes for the whole of your loving community ❤️

JHound · 14/05/2025 00:02

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Dangermoo · 14/05/2025 00:06

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Give it a rest now. Show some bloody respect to the OP.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/05/2025 00:09

Wonderberry · 13/05/2025 23:55

To answer why he has been forbidden to share his culture on cultural days: this is tricky. He wanted to talk about his Israeli heritage, but was told this was 'political' and was banned from this. To note, this was entirely his own idea, and I had no idea he had planned to do this.

I was reluctant to disclose he has Israeli heritage (but not nationality), as I thought it would lead to derailment. However, that has already happened.

Regardless of a child's heritage, religion or nationality, they should not face discrimination though. The same applies to adults.

His heritage doesn't make any difference, OP. He is a 7 year old child. He has (of course) done nothing wrong.

I'm sorry that he was prevented from talking about his heritage at school. He should have been allowed to share. I don't know how you even begin to explain to a young child why they can't just talk about their family history.

Livelovebehappy · 14/05/2025 00:13

It’s sad OP that this needs to even be raised - your son should be free to wear what he wishes without being in danger of physical and verbal abuse. I think it depends where you live as to whether this is an issue. I live in a predominantly Muslim community, and Jewish people do have to disguise the fact that they’re Jewish to avoid bringing unwanted discrimatory attention on them. It’s shocking that people who are so vocal about being discriminated against themselves, think it’s okay to visit that on another culture.

stonecutter · 14/05/2025 00:26

Wonderberry · 13/05/2025 23:55

To answer why he has been forbidden to share his culture on cultural days: this is tricky. He wanted to talk about his Israeli heritage, but was told this was 'political' and was banned from this. To note, this was entirely his own idea, and I had no idea he had planned to do this.

I was reluctant to disclose he has Israeli heritage (but not nationality), as I thought it would lead to derailment. However, that has already happened.

Regardless of a child's heritage, religion or nationality, they should not face discrimination though. The same applies to adults.

I've had this thread watched since this morning, as I wanted to write a message of support but some of the replies have been upsetting and I've not had the energy.

Seeing this though - how can his Israeli heritage possibly be political? I'm actually disgusted by this. Do other children talk about their heritage in class and that is allowed? If a Chinese-British person couldn't speak about their heritage because of some of the things the Chinese government are doing, it would rightfully be a massive controversy. Same for loads of countries where some awful things are happening.

What terrifying times we live in.

MsAmerica · 14/05/2025 00:30

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OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 14/05/2025 00:47

You have said ' No child wears a kippah at the school.'
why not - is it because there are no other Jewish boys in the school or is it maybe the parents have the same concerns / fears as you.

NeverEndingSnorey · 14/05/2025 01:01

Devonshiregal · 13/05/2025 19:44

Surely this is one of the other kids’ awful parents? Kids don’t generally know the origins of random surnames. What is wrong with people…

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No idea, I’m guessing so @Devonshiregal but it was a large group of kids from different year groups and more joined in encouraged by each other.

ScarlettOYara · 14/05/2025 05:08

LeftieRightsHoarder · 13/05/2025 23:48

This is both heartbreaking and enraging, OP. I can’t vote in your poll, as I think you are right to protect your son, but it shouldn’t be necessary.

Once again the problem is adults who haven’t a clue about politics but call themselves leftwing because it sounds good. Teachers should do a better job of educating antisemitic kids — but I can’t blame them as their jobs are hard enough already.

I wish I had a better answer for you. OP. Just sending solidarity, for what it’s worth without practical action.

Yes, please don't blame teachers. You've no idea what goes on

BellissimoGecko · 14/05/2025 06:16

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 13/05/2025 23:29

Have you actually read what the OP wrote?

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Don’t be so rude. The OP had given her views; she hasn’t said how the school had, or even if it had, justified its stance. Many other people have asked the same. Why don’t you post rude replies to them too?

On second thoughts, don’t bother.

BellissimoGecko · 14/05/2025 06:18

Wonderberry · 13/05/2025 23:55

To answer why he has been forbidden to share his culture on cultural days: this is tricky. He wanted to talk about his Israeli heritage, but was told this was 'political' and was banned from this. To note, this was entirely his own idea, and I had no idea he had planned to do this.

I was reluctant to disclose he has Israeli heritage (but not nationality), as I thought it would lead to derailment. However, that has already happened.

Regardless of a child's heritage, religion or nationality, they should not face discrimination though. The same applies to adults.

So a teacher told your son his history was ‘political’, and stopped him from talking about it, eg doing a show and tell about it?

that's absolutely shocking. What did the school say when you complained?

what EDI policy and anti-bullying policies do they have in place?

Your son should be able to talk about his history, his religion and his life experiences.

PurpleThistle7 · 14/05/2025 06:28

Wonderberry · 13/05/2025 23:55

To answer why he has been forbidden to share his culture on cultural days: this is tricky. He wanted to talk about his Israeli heritage, but was told this was 'political' and was banned from this. To note, this was entirely his own idea, and I had no idea he had planned to do this.

I was reluctant to disclose he has Israeli heritage (but not nationality), as I thought it would lead to derailment. However, that has already happened.

Regardless of a child's heritage, religion or nationality, they should not face discrimination though. The same applies to adults.

I understand. My children have done presentations about Judaism but not Israel. Although we are all actually Israeli as I was born there (but to American parents and grew up in the states). We all have citizenship but my kids have never visited and probably won’t any time soon.

we had a table at an event about different countries but represent America instead of Israel (although that’s becoming trickier too!)

i would not feel safe standing up and representing Israel.

NoisyLemonDog · 14/05/2025 06:43

This thread is horrifying and only confirms that antisemitism is on the increase. You are correct to be concerned and I'm so sorry that you and other Jewish contributors have to deal with this, OP. I hope that your lovely little boy finds many more safe situations to wear his kippah and to be proud of who he is.

ScarlettOYara · 14/05/2025 06:46

I used to teach the Arab-Israeli Conflict as a GCSE option. I wouldn't touch it now.

ScarlettOYara · 14/05/2025 06:59

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c39x0133e2wo
Interesting. Lineker deleted the post after realising what the "rat" stood for. However, you'd think he'd read, reflect and check beforehand? Some people aren't considering antisemitism when they engage with these tropes.

Gary Lineker deletes 'Zionism' post amid criticism

The presenter shared a post from the group Palestine Lobby, which included a rat illustration.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c39x0133e2wo

PurpleThistle7 · 14/05/2025 07:00

ScarlettOYara · 14/05/2025 06:46

I used to teach the Arab-Israeli Conflict as a GCSE option. I wouldn't touch it now.

i think that’s what triggered the worst incident at school. They were doing the ‘Palestinian war’ in class for weeks and weeks. My daughter fortunately isn’t in that class ever as she has a musical instrument at the time but it was after that lesson when she was approached.

ScarlettOYara · 14/05/2025 07:14

PurpleThistle7 · 14/05/2025 07:00

i think that’s what triggered the worst incident at school. They were doing the ‘Palestinian war’ in class for weeks and weeks. My daughter fortunately isn’t in that class ever as she has a musical instrument at the time but it was after that lesson when she was approached.

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I absolutely wouldn't have that nowadays. It's far too controversial, and there's not a chance of any kind of balanced argument.
I've no idea what "the Palestine War" actually is, or what timeline they're following, but it's enormously complex and difficult.

CleverButScatty · 14/05/2025 07:21

Dangermoo · 14/05/2025 00:06

Give it a rest now. Show some bloody respect to the OP.

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If you start a thread in AIBU you are literally inviting opinions on whether you are being unreasonable.
This is quite a straight talking forum where people do not tiptoe around contentious issues.

MyOliveHelper · 14/05/2025 07:22

Stripytee · 13/05/2025 20:37

Hi sorry haven’t read the whole thread, only bits. I’m not sure where you live OP, but we are a Jewish family living in a very Jewish area in London. My son travels on the northern line into the city of London every day for school wearing a kippa, along with two friends who also do. He is 11, and has been doing this since he was 10. He’s been fine, never had any hassle either on the train or in school.

My husband who also wears a kippa, works and travels into the city daily and it’s the same. Not at all saying that things are easy for Jewish people, but it’s just our lived experience, in that where we live in London and the school that my son attends, is a safe respectful place. And it’s important to us that we can proudly show our identity.

For what it’s worth, I find mumsnet often a crazy hotbed of antisemitism. I don’t want to read all the comments here but I’m sure there have been some typical examples. To be clear - There is no link between an 11 year old wearing a Jewish head covering and any events going on anywhere in the world.

We might be neighbours

Stripytee · 14/05/2025 07:27

MyOliveHelper · 14/05/2025 07:22

We might be neighbours

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We probably are! Q outing post, iykyk!

By the way, OP, I don’t know where you are, so I am not at all suggesting it’s fine for your son. Particularly not around some of the choice posters here!

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/05/2025 07:33

BellissimoGecko · 14/05/2025 06:16

Don’t be so rude. The OP had given her views; she hasn’t said how the school had, or even if it had, justified its stance. Many other people have asked the same. Why don’t you post rude replies to them too?

On second thoughts, don’t bother.

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I wasn't rude, I merely asked if you had read what the OP had written.

This is because you asked why the boy could not wear his kippah and whether the school had explicitly prohibited this. Given that the OP had set out quite clearly in her first post that it was her own decision as to whether or not she should allow her ds to wear the kippah because of her concerns about his safety, I don't think it was unreasonable to question whether you read read this.

Original poster

Wonderberry · 14/05/2025 07:36

Stripytee · 14/05/2025 07:27

We probably are! Q outing post, iykyk!

By the way, OP, I don’t know where you are, so I am not at all suggesting it’s fine for your son. Particularly not around some of the choice posters here!

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Do you mind saying if your child is at an independent school?

OP posts:

pinkstripeycat · 14/05/2025 07:39

Boys at my son’s school have always worn their religious dress in one way or another. They also have a cultural day when they come in FULL cultural clothes. We are in the midlands.

Stripytee · 14/05/2025 07:40

Wonderberry · 14/05/2025 07:36

Do you mind saying if your child is at an independent school?

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Yes he is. And one where there are a number of Jewish boys and teachers. The school is a pretty safe space, I think the tube and just walking around London is where he is more of a target.