9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

[Nowherecitizen]

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

I meant it’s very common for children to accidentally call their teachers Mum or Dad.

I'd agree it happens and never known a teacher do more than correct.

Sir and Miss to get a teacher attention were routine in mine and DH schools and in DC secondary school and primary. It's a polite way of trying to attract attention - only ever seen people have an issue with it on here.

It's kind of like adding Aunty to unrelated older women when I was young though that's really died out now where I grew up. It's a polite form of address that usually fairly normalised.

The kid picked wrong word - most teachers would shrug off and get on with day unless there was something more malcious about interaction.

If 9 year old was left upset or worried about interacting with teacher in future - I'd have words with the school - otherwise not.

Children know the truth, we shouldn't be forcing them to lie. It's cruel and confusing.

Oh FFS!
In my primary teaching career I've been called:
Mum
Mummy
Mam
Mom
Miss
Sir
Miss Shetlands
Mr Shetlands
Mrs Shetlands
Teacher
Nan
...and plenty of other less polite labels!

This male teacher who has decided to identify as 'non-binary' (which is biological bullshit) and sometimes dresses in skirts and heels, expects 9 year old children to not be confused about what they're supposed to call him?

I'm so glad I'm retired now! 😂

You got all that from the OP, blimey.
Teacher chastised child = erratic behaviour. Interesting concept.

Doesn't matter how good a teacher is teaching a subject if their behaviour isn't appropriate.
Clearly being male but sometimes wearing skirts and heels can't really complain about youngsters referring to them as Sir. It is a perfectly respectful way to refer to a male teacher. A 9 year old should not be exposed to this person's gender issues.......

A little boy, speaking a biological truth before his eyes. Thank goodness the Supreme Court has recognised biology…. Speak to the head and remind Him/Her of the new reality and you expect teachers to stop bullying young children over biological realities.

If people want to be referred to in a way other than he/she, Miss/Sir in school, etc then maybe they need to wear a badge showing their current preference. I can't be the only female teacher to have been called Mum and I never thought to tell off the pupil for their genuine error!

There are only two sexes, that doesn't mean all women are the same, type of person, and all men are the same type of person, that sort of attitude is what you call sexism. Biological sex is not a personality type, why do you confuse the two?

So what are the kids expected to call them? (I am confused do they actually refer to them as M-X? "Hi M-X, how are you?")

In this instance could the teacher opt for a first name basis? That would be my suggestion to the school.

How was it all explained to the kids to begin with? Not sure I'd be 100% comfortable with the school having that conversation with my 9yo.

To describe this as abuse is ridiculous. We already know from the information given by OP that this teacher has been teaching older children very successfully.

@ThriveAT because it was my friend, not me. It is her child, not mine. I would have taken it up with the school in a seeking more information way but I am slightly more confrontational by nature!

When a child wants to get the teacher's attention, do they still put their hand up and say 'sir!' or 'miss!' If this is still the case, what are kids supposed to say to attract the attention of the NB teacher?
Absolutely genuine question; I cannot think what they would say: the kids can't put their hands up and shout 'them!'. So, what do they say? Just the name, every time?

I do wish people would actually read the Supreme Court judgement. The claims about what it says are becoming ever more inflated on MN. It does not prevent teachers from asking pupils to address them as they wish to be addressed.

It’s really not a first name basis type of school @Crunchymum though it could solve a lot of issues for all mis-titled staff.

My point still stands. Nobody observed what had happened. The teacher could have simply said ‘Mikey, I’ve asked a few times now, please address me as Mx and not Sir’. A 9yo would see it as ‘telling off’ and therefore told his parent, who told their friend, who as many people on this thread leaped to conclusions that this teacher must’ve shouted, flipped the lid, and crucified this poor kid. Fine if people don’t like the Mrs and Miss analogy. What about Tommy-Josh going by TJ, or Michael Junior going by Junior? Not a crime to call them by their government name but person is still okay to correct. It’s not as outrageous as people think, it’s only because they assume there must be a hidden agenda because the teacher is non-binary.

Definitely two bollocks. It's utterly ridiculous that a child is chastised for not going along with the fantasy of a grown man. If he were my son I'd be livid

Agree, it’s a load of nonsense, a 9yo used a pronoun that reflected what he saw in front of him…..and the teacher gets very cross, I would make a complaint

It establishes that legally people will classified as their biological sex - that should give pause to anyone trying to discipline people for doing exactly that

In the list of things that never happened……

My point above exactly. It’s right up top at paragraph 2 of the judgment: “It is not the role of the court to adjudicate on the arguments in the public domain on the meaning of gender or sex, nor is it to define the meaning of the word "woman" other than when it is used in the provisions of the EA 2010. It has a more limited role which does not involve making policy”

So if a female teacher wore male suits every day and had a short back and sides would you consider that a fetish that the school was foistering. It’s just clothes. They just like a skirt and heels occasionally

Told off is a bit much but a gentle reminder of people's preference and boundaries is needed

This teacher is obviously confused if he doesn’t realise he is a man, it’s no wonder the kids are confused by it and making mistakes….or rather not making mistakes, just saying what they see in front of them.

No, it doesn’t. At all.

it establishes what Parliament meant in the context of a particular piece of legislation. It does not, for example, mean someone with a GRC under the Gender Recognition Act is no longer legally considered a woman. It means that equalities legislation is one of the exceptions to the general position that such a person is otherwise legally considered a woman for “all purposes”.