9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

[Nowherecitizen]

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

Thanks for that I must not be understanding non binary I thought it was that a person doesn’t feel male or female that’s why I couldn’t see why they would choose to dress masculine one day and female the next. Complicated innit

see all this time I thought we were having a constructive debate - but clearly this whole time you have been mocking me. Because I already gave my views on sex. Shame on me for thinking people could have good intentions on this forum.

This. Totally bizarre. I hope this thread isn't real

Yes the child was aware of the title but when you call out it’s normally ‘Sir’ or ‘Miss’ rather than ‘Mix’ so it’s a force of habit rather than a deliberate intent to disrespect. The child apologised but was left feeling guilty.

Jeez - what a bloody mess. Feeling guilty - poor poor child.

He should not even have to be aware of this nonsense, let alone get ticked off for getting it "wrong."

I just despair.

Whilst we are feeding them this stuff, we could be teaching them the importance of kindness. That is all that matters. And this self-absorbed teacher might do well to learn that lesson too.

Compelled speech requires someone to say something that they do not want to say/say things against their will.

But in any case, my comment about the available scientific evidence that seeing one sex and being required to use a word applicable to the other (or none) is difficult is more about the fact that we are hard-wired to recognise sex and therefore having to speak counter-intuitively is, tiring and confusing.
Sure, if someone 'explains' that they want to be called Mx, or referred to as Sarah when they're plainly male, etc, we can reason and learn about that; but it's still a little bit of effort required every time, for nothing more than making that person feel better.

The teacher should be fired. He’s an obviously delusional, self-obsessed fool who’s lying to kids and then getting uppity when they don’t collude in the lie. He sounds like an imbecile

I think that when people switch, they're 'gender fluid'. Like that Philip Bunce bloke.

Oh...according to Wikipedia, he's BOTH non-binary and gender fluid. I can't keep up. Have found an article from The Standard:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/gender-fluid-exec-named-on-list-of-top-100-women-in-business-a3942896.html

Why are people with mental health issues allowed around children?

So you believe this 9 year old doesn’t want to say it?

yes it might take some effort for us to re adjust as a society - but it’s not difficult in my opinion - of course you can disagree that is your right

More that their brain is telling them to say the correct-sex word. The stress in this case came from being told off for it, and any further stress will come from trying to remember it, against intuition, every time.
Why do we need to 'readjust as a society' to be comfortable using nonsense words to prop up someone's feelings?

Women don’t wear trousers for sexual purposes.
What extensive research have you done to justify this comment?

Men sometimes wear skirts and heels for sexual purposes.
Women sometimes wear skirts and heels for sexual purposes. Should we ban skirts and heels for everyone?

We can’t tell what any particular man’s motivation for wearing a skirts and heels is but we can’t safely assume it is not for sexual purposes.
Same applies to women. Just because a man wears a skirt doesn’t make him a paedophile, predator or deviant. Some men just want to wear a skirt and heels. What about a skirt without heels or vice versa, is that acceptable?

Wearing anything for sexual purposes is not appropriate in a school.
Its a skirt and heels, not chaps and crotchless panties with thigh high boots.

We used to know this.
God help you if you bump into Grayson Perry.

To be clear I don’t condone the child being told off or being made to feel guilty in anyway shape or form.
in my view what you see as nonsense words are important to others and I want to live in a society with the least amount of friction possible.

edited to add: I also try and put myself in other people’s shoes and imagine what would it feel like for me. The anxiety and the fear and the constant looks - and if I can help ease that I would like to try.

I occasionally and mortifyingly called my teachers mum or dad. I thought all kids do that. I sometimes call my son by my brother’s name 🤷‍♂️

I actually find Grayson Perry seriously creepy - purely because of his propensity for dressing up as a child.

Not sure Grayson Perry really helps your point. He has said that it arouses him to dress in women's clothes. Or rather, little girls' clothes. Grim.

I've never heard of Mx. How do you pronounce it?

Oh good grief. It's worse than I thought, then.

Indeed - when he is out and about in this gear, everyone he meets is unwittingly complicit in his erotic pleasure whether they wish to be or not. I find that deeply unacceptable.

But that is very different from those who actively wish to take on the role of the sex opposite to their own. I presume/hope that it is not for personal erotic titillation. - especially in the case of teachers.

But those who feel themselves to be transgender do not suddenly lose their responsibility for kindness and good manners to others (especially children) nor gain the right to dictate to others how they think and speak.

Just as they won't change theirs of women who want to protect their rights?

I can’t speak for anyone else other than myself. I want women rights to be protected.

No it’s not a ‘reasonable right’ to police peoples speech and ask them to lie.
This male teacher is just that - a male. If he wants to play at being NB out of the school setting then he can do what he likes.
If he doesn’t want to be called ‘sir’ then let the kids call him by his first name then there’s no problem with ‘misgendering’ is there.
And let’s clear this up - the child DIDNT misgender him because he is a man!

I tell you what, why don't you see how many women you can find that talk about putting on their dads or brothers boxers for a wank when they were younger, and then come back to us?

Great, I want the same for trans, despite your projection.

Sorry what do you mean by projection?

If they are as highly experienced as you say then they should know that they will get "mis-gendered" fairly often, as all teachers male and female have been since the year dot and if they can't take it they should leave teaching.

But here is another point if they are so highly experienced they should know that letting children/teens know what gets under your skin is a very bad thing for a teacher to do because those children/teens that don't like you or want to disrupt the lesson now know how to do it.