9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

[Nowherecitizen]

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

Completely disagree. Under 18s are children. No adult should be using any child to validate ideas about themselves. And any school that’s let them in, has failed to understand their duties and to apply Safer Recruitment.

The kid should insist on being called ‘The most esteemed and righteous….’ and see how the teacher likes having his speech compelled.

You're missing the point. Perhaps you're doing it deliberately.
Is the female teacher insisting on being called sir? Or just wearing certain clothes?
I couldn't care less about a male teacher wearing a skirt and heels. I would however be very unimpressed if they were insisting on being addressed as a member of the opposite sex or non-binary, and even more impressed if they were telling off pupils about it.

That being said, in this scenario, I would be very certain to get as reliable an account as possible of what actually happened before bringing out the nuclear arsenal. But I WOULD bring out the nuclear arsenal if it happened as the OP appears to be suggesting.

I had to google that

I'd rather have the one who isn't self-obsessed and teaching the children, as a subtext, not to recognise a person's sex when they see it. Doesn't matter how talented he is, he is a safeguarding danger.

How is it not equivalent? I started working in 1989 for a high street bank and the women were not allowed to wear trousers until about 1993. Wearing trousers wouldn’t have made any difference to my job the same way wearing a skirt and heels wouldn’t make any difference here. But because you don’t find a skirt and heels comfortable or practical no one else can. For 35 years working I have primarily worn dresses and skirts, trousers probably once every three weeks. The heels have gotten lower as I’ve aged. Who are we to say this teacher can’t wear a skirt?

Exactly. I call all my children and my DH by each others names all the time

Subject: Concern Regarding Compelled Speech and Protected Beliefs

Dear [Headteacher’s Name],

I am writing to raise a serious concern regarding an incident involving my child, [Child’s Name], who was recently reprimanded by a member of staff after referring to them as “Sir.” From what my child recalls, the teacher in question is biologically male but identifies as non-binary and uses the title “Mx.” My child addressed them as “Sir” instinctively and politely, based on their visible presentation.

While I appreciate efforts to foster an inclusive school environment, I must make clear that no child should be reprimanded for using respectful language, particularly when it is based on a reasonable and commonly understood social cue. My child did not intend offence and was clearly acting in good faith.

Compelling children to speak in ways that affirm ideological beliefs they may not hold or to penalise them when they do not, is not only inappropriate, but it may amount to discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. The belief that sex is binary and immutable, and that gender identity should not override biological sex, is a protected philosophical belief as confirmed in Forstater v CGD Europe and reinforced in subsequent case law.

Children have the right to hold and express such beliefs without fear of reprimand, provided they do so respectfully, which, by all accounts, my child did. Forcing them to use terms they do not believe in, or punishing them for using ordinary respectful language, risks crossing into compelled speech and undermines their rights.

I would like to request the following:

• A formal apology to my child for the distress caused.
• Assurance that no further disciplinary action will be taken in such cases where children speak respectfully but do not affirm gender identity beliefs.
• Clarification of the school’s policy regarding pronoun and title usage, and how it aligns with the Equality Act and existing legal precedent.

I trust the school is aware that this is a legally complex and sensitive area, and that safeguarding all pupils, including those who hold gender-critical beliefs, is part of your public sector equality duty. I hope this matter can be resolved quickly and constructively.

Yours sincerely,
[Your Full Name]
[Your Contact Details]
[Your Child’s Name and Year Group]

Safeguarding danger, ridiculous. Because no manly male teachers have ever been a risk to pupils. Despite being called sir and wearing a suit.

That is your view - And of course that is fine. I don’t see it like that. I see human nature as intrinsically complex and always evolving. We don’t know where we will as race evolve and move to. You can simply tell children that no everyone sees themselves as it is and you don’t agree with it if that’s your wish. It’s not about obfuscating reality in my opinion - it’s about giving space to others.

and to think it’s not a society problem is short sighted - the reality it is a society problems. Courts are legislating over it, there are protests for and against - making it inherently a society problem. again - my view not more or less valid than yours. Just how I see it.

Exactly!

My son was at a special needs school where the children called the staff, including the head, by their first names. It was strange at first (especially as we weren't given the staff surnames either) but actually much easier!

@Nowherecitizen cut and paste this into an email, send it off, see what happens.

What would we do without ChatGPT?

Yes courts are legislating for it.

As you probably know, they have legislated that people's biological sex takes priority over any 'gender identity' in law. This is exactly as it should be.

Humans can't change sex or alternate between sexes. It is not beneficial for anyone to lie about that, directly or indirectly. We must hold scientific reality in the highest respect.

Spend a huge amount of time on things that would be less effective?

The barrier to entry has been lowered, thats not a bad thing.

Using AI for good - like this - is a brilliant use of tech, it's not a gotcha if you say "ooo look AI"

Most bigoted comment award goes to ☝️

I use it all the time, I love it.

There is nothing bigoted about pointing out the truth.

So how exactly do you know that this teacher is getting sexual kicks from children? There’s nothing to even imply such a thing.

My child would be taken out of that school immediately. You do not want your child being taught by these lunatics.

No such thing as non binary.

I agree with you that scientific reality should be highly regarded. But this subject is more nuanced than that - it’s about how individuals perceive themselves and how they want others to perceive them. It’s about how they feel and think and how they can be at peace with themselves and the world.

it’s not about lying - that’s a very simplistic view of the matter in my opinion.

Seems very harsh if it wasn't in a nasty way, kids make mistakes I once called a teacher dad (the shame lingers).

If it's about how individual perceive themselves, then how far do we go.

We know that people 'perceive themselves' to be different races, different ages, different species, even disabled when they aren't.

Do we acknowledge that and tell them
all lies so that they feel at peace with themselves? Or do we say, no, that's a mental illness, go and seek treatment.

And why would this be any different?