Awful DIL family

[Sunpeace]

When DS first met his partner he admitted he was concerned about her family as they were a bit rough. I told him not to worry, it was her he was with, not her family. However, a few years later, I realise I was wrong. The family have never as much as said hello if I walk into the room and I'm made to feel uncomfortable in my son's home although I don't visit often and try not to cross paths with them. I have heard them make racist comments and they are really not my type of people and although I have tried to not let them get to me, now there are DGC it's almost impossible to avoid them, though God knows I try! I'm tempted to mention this to my DS just to clear the air. AIBU?

Keep on doing what you are doing. Change nothing. Just 'manage' the situation.

This seems a bit like your looking for an excuse to not have a relationship with your GC. Is talking to your DS your way of passing blame for why you don't see his children much? I can't see what else it would be for. It's a bit late to advise him on the relationship now their already married with DC.
My BIL is awful, not a chance he is getting in the way of my relationship with my niece though, and he actually lives with her. I visit and try to make conversation and be polite and I meet her and sis out and have them visit my home.

You don’t mention inviting your DS and his family to you

I think the shades of Pemberley are already thus polluted. Just go round when the Bennets aren’t there.

We’ve met our daughter’s in-laws about half a dozen times in 8 years (no problem with each other, just doesn’t arise).
Why do you need to see them so often? Just see the grandchildren separately.