To tell DH he smells?

[Sunflowers369]

DH smells and I don’t think I can cope with it much longer.
The issue appears to be from his breath but I’m not sure if it’s an oral hygiene problem causing it or a health problem, but it’s awful and getting worse.
The best way to describe it is it smell like sour milk, quite a strong unpleasant smell.
It’s affecting our intimacy and sex life because it’s so unpleasant, I have ASD/ADHD so I’m very sensitive to smells at the best of times, we rarely have sex now because the smell puts me off. In the mornings our bedroom smells really bad, I often have to open the window to get rid of the smell, our children have also commented on the bedroom smells too, eg on holiday when we’re sharing a hotel room.
DH has never visited the dentist in the time that I’ve known him, I think he has a fear but has never admitted it. He used to smoke and now vapes, I’m not sure if the nicotine could be causing this?
I don’t know how to address this with him without offending him, he clearly has no idea.
Any tips on how to approach this subject would be appreciated, I can’t cope with it much longer but he’s such a lovely guy I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but also concerned it could be a health problem that needs attention.

This should be taken really seriously. Someone in my family had the same issue and subsequently became very very ill and needed open heart surgery for a heart infection. Heart infections can be linked to dental and gum infections and this should be more widely known.

Your DH has never visited a dentist since you have known him!!! This is bad.

You need to say something and quickly, if he can’t rely on you to tell him he has bad breath who can he rely on?!
Not to be harsh but tho it’s a little delicate you should be able to address this relatively easily.
if he’s never been to the dentist and he is an ex smoker it’s probably not a big mystery really.
i don’t know if vapes leave a smell, but the smell you describe doesn’t sound like a vape smell.
you need to tell him asap, he’ll probably be mortified if this has been going on a long time.

If my DH smelled I’d consider it my job to tell him. That’s what partners are for.

Especially when they have kids too and they’ve noticed-amazed they haven’t just blurted it out to him, kids aren’t renowned for their diplomacy, and they’ll know it’s him not OP!

I'd just tell him, you're married to him? I tell mine.

This is crazy. He's put his dick in your vagina. Presumably seen you give birth, and you worried about telling him his breath stinks.

Just tell him ffs.

My dad had bad breath for a few years after he gave up smoking. I think certain bacteria that the smoke used to kill, just became rampant for a while and then finally reached a balance. I'd definitely advise a trip to the dentist just in case it's something dental though.

Likely causes of 'sour milk' halitosis:

1. Dairy intolerance, most likely lactose
2. Keto diet (high protein, low carb)
3. Acid reflux.

If he has bad stomach aches when lying down, it's most likely acid stomach. Buy some esomeprazole and see the doctor. If his diet's too protein-heavy, rebalance it. If it goes away after a week of no dairy, there's your answer.

You need to be honest with him, I had a issue with a tooth, I could even taste it, and flossed everyday and it smelt and I went the dentist 4 times and they said it's OK when I knew it wasn't, in the end I told them in the end if they don't take it out then I'd rip it out myself, and I would.

They agreed and now the taste and smell is gone and my confidence is alot better.

Most likely it is the vape oil which leaves a residue inside the lungs. This stuff really hasn't been around long enough to know the long term issues it can cause but vapes are only recommended as an aid to quit smoking, not as an alternative to smoking.

Yes of course I would, I would do it kindly and tactfully. This is the person you have exchanged vows with, who you love and you need to be kind and help them through this. Yes, it's difficult and you don't like the smell but help him, for goodness sake.

Don’t understand why you can’t just tell him? If my DH’s breath ever stinks I just tell him straight and he prefers it coming from me than anyone else. Likewise I would rather he told me too.

I can't understand how you can be married to a man and not be open and honest with him. You should have told him when it first started so he could get it checked out immediately. Now it's got so bad even your kids smell it. He needs to clean his teeth with a strong smokers toothpaste then gargle with mouthwash every day for a week. Then make a appointment with a dentist and expect a huge bill for £1k +. If it's not a dental issue then straight to GP.

Obviously if your breath smelled you’d want to know. But it’s just the sort of thing that when told people can get very defensive and shoot the messenger. A version of “does my bum look big in this?”

This!

You will need a second mortgage unless you have health insurance to visit a dentist. Just the check up recently cost £58 then £103 for a single filling. A friend who needed a lot of work had to pay £1400. recently. Our dentist for the last twelve years changed to private work only, from NHS. Needless to say I will be waiting until I'm desperate for treatment. I'm so sorry that your spouse has the problem. It might be a digestive problem and not just dental hygiene.

It sounds like a rotten tooth , this happened to someone that I love dearly , there was pus under the tooth and they had to remove the tooth and root immediately, it also came on gradually at first and in the end there was a lot of pain , so much that he was in agony and had no choice to see a dentist.

Buy some oral nystatin from the chemist and squirt it in his mouth when he is not expecting it.

only joking but if it’s oral thrush it’s pretty easy to treat. Ridiculous you’ve let it go on this long.

Just say, look I don’t want to upset you but you really do need to see a dentist or doctor because your mouth smells so terrible. I’m worried about you and other people are starting to notice.

God, how can you not tell your husband that his breath stinks?
If my husband turns over and breathes in my vicinity and his breath stinks I will 100% tell him!!!

This sounds more like Thrush. Rotten teeth, gum disease and tonsil stones smell more like something dead or rotten. This could be anywhere but does he have white spots on his tongue or is he itchy anywhere? Tell him you have been concerned for some time but didn't want to hurt his feelings but he really needs to see a doctor.

I’ve told my husband. He now brushes his teeth each night and flosses which he didn’t seem to think was necessary before. The flossing has made huge difference

Is he turning Type 1 diabetic?

Tell him and suggest he uses chlorhexidine mouthwash and dental floss while he's waiting for a dental appointment.