I split with my ex H in 2022. He was abusive in just about every way, violent, mean, we walked on egg shells around him. I’ve told the story of reconnecting with my now DP on here before - he was my high school boyfriend when I was an overseas exchange student. We started a relationship in mid 2023 and are very very happy together. It is a slightly unusual scenario in that it is a long distance relationship, but despite that we have spent a lot of time together, met each other’s friends and family, he’s spent a lot of time getting to know my kids, has met all my friends, my workmates, extended family including my many cousins. A week ago he proposed at the airport with a ring he had chosen for me on cahoots with my best friend. I said yes and we are very very happy. Our plan is that he will base himself with me and travel home as necessary. (Just trying to anticipate questions here!)
I called my mum after the engagement immediately to tell her - it was 7pm on a Saturday night. She ignored all my calls, I texted to tell her the news, no response. I called again and eventually she picked up and I got a very half arsed “that’s nice” response.
I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the weekend. This is in contrast to my best friends who have met DP and who knew what a shit my ex husband was who were loudly THRILLED for me.
Yesterday it was mother’s day here (not UK), I went to DM’s house with flowers and some nice food for lunch and took my DC to see her. We sat there for an hour while she talked about church, random people she has gone for coffee with, family members I haven’t seen for years. As the clock ticked on I kept thinking - any moment now she is going to realise she’s forgotten and ask about wedding plans, ask to see the ring etc. No …an hour went by and eventually I made my excuses and we left. Nothing. We had had her over for dinner a week prior to the engagement while DP was here and she had gushed about what a lovely evening it was and what a lovely man he is (which he is).
AIBU to think this is a no-contact line in the sand?
To make matters worse, I called my aunt (mum’s sister) who said “D”M had had told off my aunt for telling people and hadn’t told the rest of the large extended family (v unlike her as she’s like a rat up a drainpipe with any bit of news usually).
For context, DM is Catholic and a total narcissist and my exH was external v successful (the right school, jobs etc) so I think she’s embarrassed by me & the divorce (though I’m professionally successful and have done a bloody great job as a full time working solo mum with no help from anyone).
I usually take her idiocy with a grain of salt but it’s really hurt me - my dad died in November and he would have made a big fuss so it really makes me feel his absence more 🥺