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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriend annoyed with me for going out?

43 replies

petuniasy · 11/05/2025 20:46

We don’t live together.

We had a big falling out and then he went away for 18 days.

He turned on his location for me to see, as he was travelling abroad and asked for me to do the same. We’ve not had each other’s location on before.

In this time I went to visit my friend in another city for a few days, the service was bad. I had no service for a couple of hours so his texts didn’t deliver and he text me saying “have you turned your phone off? You’re exposing yourself”. He apologised after I told him that was unfair and I just wanted to enjoy myself.

A week or so later, I went out with two friends and he was badgering me to reply to him whilst I was trying to have fun. When I was dropping my friend off he obviously had looked at my location and said “why are you on some random street again?”

The next day he turned his location off (fine, I'm not bothered) and said it was because there’s no point having it on if I’m not going to tell him what I’m up to. He is out with friend and in all sorts of places and doesn’t keep me updated on what he’s doing, and I would never ask him to either. I explained this.

He then said “I’ve never cheated on a partner” and I said neither have I (I haven’t).

He then said that I had told him I’d slept with my ex’s brother. This is an ex from when I was 16 (I’m 26 this year) whom I was with before I even met my boyfriend. I don’t recall ever telling him I had done that. Ex’s brother did make moves on me at the time and I didn’t reciprocate. I did used to say/weird things as a (troubled) teen, but really don’t remember ever saying that.

If I bring up something he did even six months ago, he gets annoyed and says the relationship won’t work if I keep bringing up the past.

There was then back and forth. I said I couldn’t believe he was being like this because I dared go out with my friends.

He said “maybe don’t make up weird lies then”.

I ended up blocking him, but now I’m unsure if I’ve overreacted?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 11/05/2025 20:47

This sounds like a crap relationship.

Temporaryname158 · 11/05/2025 20:48

You have not over reacted. My very abusive relationship started just like this!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 11/05/2025 20:48

You haven't overreacted.

You should have ended things ages ago. He sounds like a controlling POS.

Springadorable · 11/05/2025 20:48

Oh just tell him to fuck off and ditch. He's so attention seeking it's exhausting.

TomatoSandwiches · 11/05/2025 20:49

You've under reacted imo, need to give this one the heave ho!

GiroJim100 · 11/05/2025 20:49

You sound like a pair of bickering children. Just finish it. Also, any ‘relationship’ which revolves around ‘sharing locations on your phone’ and ‘blocking’ rather than actually talking to each other like a normal human being is dead from the start anyway.

Bearbookagainandagain · 11/05/2025 20:49

He is controlling and pathetic.

Bikergran · 11/05/2025 20:51

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Get out now. Block him in every way possible. Google "coercive control".

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/05/2025 20:51

You need to end the relationship or you'll end up being controlled by this man. He's abusive.

yeesh · 11/05/2025 20:51

fuck him off

steff13 · 11/05/2025 20:52

Is this really what you want for your life?

MoreChocPls · 11/05/2025 20:57

Hope you have dumped him.

Iloveacurry · 11/05/2025 20:58

You can do better than him.

petuniasy · 11/05/2025 20:58

GiroJim100 · 11/05/2025 20:49

You sound like a pair of bickering children. Just finish it. Also, any ‘relationship’ which revolves around ‘sharing locations on your phone’ and ‘blocking’ rather than actually talking to each other like a normal human being is dead from the start anyway.

We have never shared locations, he turned it on because he was travelling alone abroad to an unfamiliar place. He asked me to do the same.

I have blocked him as a means of finishing it, because he was sending ridiculous and hurtful messages.

OP posts:
whynotmereally · 11/05/2025 20:58

You did the right thing he’s wanting to police your movements, uses your past against you this is not a good man and it will likely get worse

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/05/2025 21:00

He sounds like a complete twat, you've done nothing wrong, just ditch him.

Gundogday · 11/05/2025 21:01

Sounds too much like hard work. You’re allowed to gave other friends, and to visit them.

Leeds2 · 11/05/2025 21:03

I honestly think you would be better without him. He will only get worse.

londongirl12 · 11/05/2025 21:03

Absolutely did the right thing. In a quote from MAFS - in a world of red flags, he’s the red carpet.

frozendaisy · 11/05/2025 21:07

Previously underreacted if anything!

Don’t look back OP this is deeply, deeply hard to express enough, unhealthy.

Bananalanacake · 11/05/2025 21:10

Don't let him move in with you, whatever you do

beAsensible1 · 11/05/2025 21:13

Firstly OP don’t go divulging the minutiae of the ins an outs of who you've slept with to a new BF.

secondly get the hell away from this nutter

OneBlossomBee · 11/05/2025 21:14

No, no you haven't overreacted at all. This is the start of controlling behaviour, trying to gaslight you with things that you didn't say but he'd swear you did and accusing you of lying/cheating. Please, keep him blocked and that it's over. This behaviour would escalate and become even more controlling to the extent he'd want you to cut out friends and next your family to isolate you. I would change your number and change up your routine and tell close friends and family. You did the only sensible thing and cut him off and blocked. Don't even consider you overracted or give him any chance for your own safety.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 11/05/2025 21:15

I have blocked him as a means of finishing it, because he was sending ridiculous and hurtful messages.

Quite right. I don't blame you.

LoudSnoringDog · 11/05/2025 21:17

Throw this one back.