Doing my Will - why are there no free funeral options??

[Fragmentedbrain]

Ok I know this is unreasonable in a way because we can't just have bodies cluttering the streets. But also I didn't ask to be born (sorry to channel my inner teen). Why can't there be a straight to landfill no charge option? I've never had a single thing subbed in my life and I don't want a funeral (I'd be too socially anxious to go in life so would be hypocritical to ask anyone else to go) so why can't there just be a simple disposal option.

Getting old is really dispiriting

To be fair to the great-uncle that I mentioned in a previous post, he left more than enough to cover his funeral.

I’m having a direct cremation. My parents are too. When my mum told me that’s what she wanted I was taken aback at first, but it’s what she wants so I have accepted it. The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good idea and I decided I want one too. DH thinks he wants one, but keeps changing his mind, DS2 says he wants one too. DS1 is in the army so atm wants a military funeral, but hopefully that will never happen.

IMO funerals are a huge con. The last one I went to was FIL’s and it was awful. MIL was in bits, DH was falling apart, SILs were in bits, I was in bits, all the grandchildren were in bits. It cost a fortune for us to sit in that room for an hour sobbing our hearts out. I’m not putting my family through that. I’d sooner my grandson had the money to do something with.

Make sure you spend all your money, then go for the above, instructing your friends not to pay up if asked. Leave some instructions on whether you want a cremation or burial, and where if burial, it'll make the admin easier.

It's not always the local authority/hospital that deals with this btw - in a former job we'd get calls from the DWP looking for burial space a couple of times a year. Though that might have been because the inner city local authority didn't have any cemeteries, so things got a bit complicated.

Science sometimes says "no thanks, we have enough at the moment"

My gran bequeathed her bidy to science but they only took a few small bits of tissue for specific research projects and the rest was still ours to dispose of.

Sorry yes of course it comes back in other ways to other people ie taxes but to answer the ops question there is a concept of a free funeral in that she could get rid of all her estate before death (taking into account rules around disposal of assets) and she’d still have a funeral albeit that would just be her body being cremated.

Why should other taxpayers pay for your disposal @Fragmentedbrain?

In the 80's when I had my sons, I spent 5 days in hospital. I had gas and air during the birth, think I had pethidine?, proper meals, a tea trolley came around several times a day. Real ovaltine at night. Nappies, baby formula etc..

Not just a paracetamol, but I did have stitches.

If you are too socially awkward to go to a funeral, how do you go about daily tasks? Death is a part of life,, it's the ONLY certain things about it..

However I do agree funerals and such are far too expensive.

Ooh no one else has mentioned a Body Farm where they research the decomposition of bodies to inform forensic analysis. Qiuick google suggests there were plans for a UK one a few years back (2017/18) but not sure it happened. But I think this is what you want!

https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/28/britains-first-body-farm-looking-volunteer-corpses-7584053/amp/

I'm planning ahead. I've got the cheapest Co-op funeral plan.
https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/funeral-plans/direct-cremation-plan

My Will states a direct cremation, no funeral service - my sons will do something with the ashes e.g. scatter near my mother's grave.

I'd be against a straight to landfill type of disposal - just exactly where would bodies go, not literally in landfill as that would be distressing for those who work at such places.

There needs to be a bit of decorum in disposing of bodies or it devalues human lives.

Not necessarily. Here the body is returned to the family after it’s been used to train medical/dentistry students in anatomy — worth checking out what procedure is wherever anyone is planning to donate.

(The last person I know who donated their body to the local university had a church funeral, but the body then went to the university rather than for burial/cremation afterwards. I believe they will be buried when the body is returned.)

Would your cousins be inheriting from you?

I think I probably know better than you what you got since I gave birth then. A week n hospital with proper care for mother and baby cost a lot more than a stay of less than 24 hours with partners doing everything.

You are being utterly unreasonable and ridiculous. You can't just knowingly leave a body out to decay after death and be picked clean by wildlife! That would be horrendous, and very distressing for anyone who might come across it! How utterly inconsiderate to all around you that would be, and also illegal.

You could leave your body to medical science, but as others have pointed out, it isn't guaranteed that it could be accepted, or even in an acceptable state.

Just do what normal people would do and pay for a direct cremation. It's quick and clean and costs far less than a traditional funeral. Stop throwing your ridiculous tantrum and arrange the most practical option for you (sounds like direct cremation to me).

A crematorium is not a creepy business. It provides an essential service disposing of human remains in a manner that is both respectful and compliant with public health laws and needs. They are expensive to operate and do need to be staffed, hence why the general cost of direct cremation is between £1,000 and £1,500. They cannot be cheap or free so you need to stop squealing about that and start being reasonable. They still represents reasonable value though if you don't want a funeral.

Birth costs money and death costs money. That is just a fact of life and there is no way round it. All the tantrumming in the world will make no difference. All you can do is plan ahead as much as possible by paying for funeral plans or direct cremation to mitigate or minimise the cost after death.

I would like my body to be wrapped in a shroud and placed in a cave overlooking the sea.

OK, I wouldn't, but I don't want a big expensive event to see me off. It's such an awful waste of money.

If you want to weep over mourning me, then see me alive and rejoice with me that I have air in my lungs.

But ‘you’ don’t pay. Because you will be dead. So the people who inherit your estate will pay. There is zero issue

So have I. When my mother died my sister told me I'd better get one because she didn't intend to have anything to do with funding my funeral. It will be paid off in three years time and I've left my estate to my niece anyway. My sister won't get a penny.

Why would straight to landfill be free, are you going to walk there yourself?

There are ways to ensure one's demise that could involve no funeral costs because there likely won't be remains to bury, albeit you might still incur some costs getting yourself there to die. But you probably won't fancy them.

So don’t make any arrangements and let the state give you a pauper’s funeral? You will be food for the worms in any case. Whether they send a mortuary van for you or bundle you out to the tip someone will be involved in hoisting your body out of the bed. Letting wild dogs do it would be the end of a chain of human fuss in any event unless you plan ahead to die on a wilderness trip.

Yes...Well, their children, if they've gone before me.

Midwives don't work for free. Your birth probably cost more than your funeral will.

Plan as far as it is possible to die with no money or assets - your body will have to be disposed of somehow and no one else can be forced to pay for it (if they are not inheriting anything from you).

This is a strangely attention seeking thread considering you keep saying you don’t care and everyone should move on.

The least attention seeking thing to do is -

a) see if the body farm exists and make arrangements,

b) see if you can donate to medical science and make arrangements,

c) look into, and pay for, a direct cremation.

And make your wishes known to someone, or leave them blue tacked to your fridge.

Anything other than these three things is going to cause a lot of attention from various family members, police, council staff, goodness knows who else.

You remind me a bit of the women at a family meal who say ‘ooh I couldn’t, just a half slice of stale bread for me please’ then sit there with a cats bum face when that’s what they get.

You could always put £30 a month into a savings account and stipulate that it is there to cover the cost of a basic direct cremation. OP I'm not sure how that can be more 'go without any fuss. You don't have to have a party. Just say to executors of your will 'take this money to pay for direct cremation' no fuss, no ceremony. Often the money for funeral costs will be taken out of the estate. You cant have bodies just left out in the street for the birds to eat!

I agree. Its way more effort to keep saying, after you have an answer to say 'But I...'. It costs to dispose of a body. It may be 'free' to you, but why should everyone else have to pay to dispose of your body?