Doing my Will - why are there no free funeral options??

[Fragmentedbrain]

Ok I know this is unreasonable in a way because we can't just have bodies cluttering the streets. But also I didn't ask to be born (sorry to channel my inner teen). Why can't there be a straight to landfill no charge option? I've never had a single thing subbed in my life and I don't want a funeral (I'd be too socially anxious to go in life so would be hypocritical to ask anyone else to go) so why can't there just be a simple disposal option.

Getting old is really dispiriting

“I don’t want to spend money on a cremation so I’m going to spend hundreds on a massive freezer and expect my grieving family to stick me inside it, dig my grave, and then bin the expensive freezer because no one wants to eat ice lollies that have been in the same freezer as their dead nan”

FFS. Just accept that dying incurs a cost which isn't going to disappear however many tantrums you throw.

There is no guarantee that your body will be accepted for science.

As others have said, Direct cremation is the cheapest option. But it's still not cheap.

Cardboard coffins are generally not the cheapest option.

The council will ONLY pay for someone's cremation/burial once they have established that there is a) no estate and b) no surviving family.

Arranging a funeral yourself is not as easy as you may think.

Old? You’re early 40s.

Your argument because I don’t want to, echos a childlike why do we pay to drink water when it falls out the sky for free.

Good luck exploring your options…

It is possible to go for direct cremation which is the lowest cost option. I work with a number of companies that operate such a service. I would give it some thought though. Such services usually have a regional centre which may be many miles from home. In reality it cremates and then returns the ashes, though it may be possible for a very limited number of mourners to attend, you cannot pick the time or date. Even if some people do attend, there is not really much of a service. The actual service can be very important for those mourning your loss. It is possible for a few pounds more to have a quite cheap service via the Co Op or similar. Personally I would plan it in advance and make sure you pick the cheapest coffin going and a celebrant you. an meet and like

Well I am willing to make quite a lot of effort to avoid it

Maybe die somewhere I won't be found for a long time

That ain't young

Have a look at the dead good funeral book, it gives you all the options.

Juvenile.

I guess the same way as they make sure someone being cremated or buried isn’t being dumped by a murderer - death certificate and paperwork.

Just doing what everyone does because everyone else does it isnt "adult".

I don't like existing, I pay for absolutely everything myself. Direct cremation seems to be about £1500 why would I want to enrich a creepy business simply to do something I don't want them to do.

at our medical school there was always a decent attendance.

medical and anatomy students were expected to go. It wasn’t a funeral, more a thank you service to those who’d helped everyone there.

often quite a few family turned up too.

We looked at these as one option for my dad who had always said we hadn’t to spend money on his funeral and to bury him “in an orange box”. The cardboard ones were more expensive than some of the wood ones!

Honestly, you sound like a petulant child!

Do you expect the crematorium workers to work for free?

I don't expect to be cremated I'm quite happy to rot somewhere

My body is no more unhygienic than normal landfill

My previous neighbour died a few years ago - she was 100!

She had organised a direct cremation & her memorial service while she was still compos mentis.

My wife is going to either chuck me in the bin, or if I die the day after bin day - we are on every three weeks for collection she will pile my books on the patio, soak them in diesel and put me on top

Sorry in advance about the smoke

I was a funeral arranger. There's nothing creepy about it. Sadly for you, people can't go around dumping bodies in landfill sites. Imagine when these bodies are found at a later date - there would have to be expensive investigations to see if the person had been murdered. There would be no record of who the body was. It's a ridiculous idea.

You can get a direct funeral for around £1500, maybe less, depending on where you live. That's not an extortionate amount.

You should enquire about the giving-to-science option. Although they'll refuse you if you have certain illnesses. Also don't die just before Christmas as the teaching schools break up and they don't take bodies right before the long holidays.

Or perhaps you should go and live in Tibet or Nepal or Inner Mongolia, where Sky Burials are an option and the corpse is left on a mountaintop to decompose and be eaten by scavenging animals.

There are plenty of things in life that we pay for that I am sure we would rather not do so. Things cost money.

OP, opt for a direct cremation, I would respect you or anyone else's wishes if they do not wish for a funeral service.

Why do you think we pay for our bins to be collected? Because the magical fairies don’t do it.

Everyone has their own ideas about what they want when they die. There have been all sorts of rituals around burial through the ages. Some are about the status of the dead etc but most are about how family and friends come to terms with the death. I do think it’s worth considering how loved ones will be able to process their grief without a funeral or some other marking of your passing. Maybe a funeral is not for you but what about planting a tree or something else non traditional where people can take a moment to process or remember.

Just doing what everyone does because everyone else does it isnt "adult".

Just wanting not to do what everyone else does, just because, isn't adult either.

Had a family member who used to carry on like this, don't want anything done, just dump my body in a ditch and so on. He was one of those people who enjoyed sticking two fingers up to authority and, tbh, being a right pain. He then died suddenly and without warning and it was annoying and expensive for his nearest relatives to sort out.

If you’re looking for a natural option woodland burial might be the way to go - in some cases you don’t even need a coffin, a fabric shroud is sufficient. You can be buried on private land/in your own garden but there are legal hoops to jump through to ensure the ground is suitable and the landowner needs to keep a record so someone doesn’t dig you up in 30 years and think “there’s been a murder” (in best Taggart voice). Getting a plan now is a good idea because costs aren’t likely to come down, but make sure it’s a properly regulated one.

40 years ago, an insurance collector tried to persuade my great-uncle to purchase an insurance policy to cover his funeral.

"No."

"But Mr X, surely you want a decent funeral?"

"For aa A care, they can fling me ower the back o' a dyke."

"But Mr X...surely you want a Christian burial?"

"Ye'll not have seen any deid bodies lyin aroond lately?"

I've been looking at funeral plans for myself. However, my cousins have strongly hinted that I should just organise a direct cremation. (DH died 4 yrs ago and while he had two children, I have none of my own.)