To be upset about partner watching porn?

[Herecomessummerrollonautumn]

We have a wonderful relationship, together 2 years. Have very regular, amazing sex.

So this morning I caught him watching porn while I thought he was having a lie in. I didn't think I'd have a problem with it but actually it's really upset me. More because we just had sex last night so I'm questioning why he felt the need to watch it. It's made me question everything. He treats me like a queen, I've never been happier. So now I kind of feel like it was all a lie. I honestly never thought he would have a need to watch it.

Am I being daft? I threatened to end our relationship and he cried and begged me to forgive him. He can't explain why he did it. I would understand if we had a sexless relationship but we truly don't. Feel crap now. I want to know if I'm overreacting? Thanks all

If you were planning to end the relationship based on this incident alone it suggests you have a very poor relationship with this man. Either that or you’re a complete drama queen.

I don't want to be harsh on you, or make you feel any worse than you do already op. I understand your feelings on both sides in this, and I think it would be a horrible shame if you both fell out over it. You had a horrible shock that you weren't prepared for and had feelings you weren't expecting, it's understandable. Your partner now also feels responsible for upsetting you and also feels terrible about himself. Is there any way you can both get together and help to make each other feel better again? Literally just hugging and being kind to each other? Once you're both feeling better and more secure with each other, you can then have an honest discussion about the porn. If you're feeling insecure and hurt, it will be difficult to move forward on this, so try to work on that.

I had this after id initiated sex at the morning and turned down yet caught him a couple hours later. He begged and cried etc. Yet was caught again and again. He preferred porn to me. Simple as (although would never admit it). He's an ex.

Should say, I'm not particularly against porn but I don't understand why anyone would pick a wank over actual sex, especially in a happy loving relationship. My current fella agrees (also tells me he does use porn but it's a means to an end not a preference)

He's never turned me down ever, we had sex the night before. I agree if he chose it over me and we didn't have a healthy sex life it would be the end like you said.

I don't think op's partner picked having a wank over her, he did pick her, and they have a healthy sex life. Just like your partner occasionally uses porn, he did also. I think that this is more common with men than most women realise. Like I said before, having a wank is a simple self-soothing act, men (and many women) use it differently than having full sex which is very different and involves love and emotions.

I expect it's more indicative of them saying what you want to hear.

I don't think you are being very fair to him. Threatening to end the relationship is a step too extreme and quite reckless. You absolutely are ok to have an opinion on porn and if you don't like him watching it, have a calm and mature discussion. How often does he watch it? Equating having a good sex life to porn consumption is not a rational thinking pattern because the two might be unrelated. I am a woman and I occasionally watch porn, sometimes to get new ideas or just because I feel like it. Unless the porn use is infiltrating into your relationship negatively, it is only fair to have a conversation and making your stance clear.

I think I probably know them better than you do 😂😂

Thank you, I need to hear this.

Reported

Who gives a c**p? A pair of tits is a pair of tits.

Men are visual creatures (if they weren't, lingerie wouldn't be a thing) - if they need a wank then some kind of visual stimuli can be very beneficial.

People are reading to much into it - men's use of porn rarely has anything to do with thier partner.

Also OP, having sex with him the night before is irrelevant to him wanting a wank in the morning - that's a whole 8 to 10 hrs hrs between sex - an eternity for a young virile male! Also Google morning glory erections.

@amigafan2003 But surely if literally any tits will do, their partner will understandably feel considerably less special to him?