Am I wrong?

[Myhubbyisadickhead]

Found out last night that my DH allowed our DD to drive our fairly powerful car up the residential street despite us discussing it several times previously and saying she couldn't. She's had 5 lessons and is not insured. There's loads of parked cars and imo anything could have gone wrong. I've gone ballistic. With both of them. Now this morning he's defending his actions saying she kept asking me (she has me too all week and I said no) and she was actually a good driver. Car is automatic and so easier to drive so this apparently makes it ok. DD says everyone's parents do it apart from. Am I overreacting?

She isn’t insured so shouldn’t be driving. It’s that simple!

You are not wrong and you have made your point. Hopefully they will both listen and not do it again. And hopefully you will be able to let it go and move on without making it a huge life problem.

They’re both idiots but he’s the bigger idiot.

Who is paying for DD’s lessons? If it’s you/dh, tell her if she does it again, she has to pay for her own lessons. And mean it.

Were they both in the car? Or did she just go out on her own?

Well, she’s not insured so YANBU on that front.

Do you intend to put her on the insurance so she can practice with her dad in between lessons?

They WBU to drive uninsured, anyone is, but if she was insured I wouldn’t see a problem.

It doesn't matter - she's not insured either way.

YANBU OP.

First post nails it.
Not only is she not insured your DH could be prosecuted for letting her drive uninsured.

I do get she wasn’t insured but let’s be honest for as long as I can remember it’s been the done thing that fathers take their kids around the local area to teach them how to drive. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, or legal in this case, but I would absolutely flip the lid if my kid was allowed to go on their own, a bit less so if they were supervised.

I don't think it's ever been "the done thing" to take your uninsured teenager out to practise driving, has it?

I mean, both my parents took me out for driving practise but I was fully insured to be out in a car.

Yes - and its also the norm to insure them on that car!

Why didn't the muppet just put DD on the insurance? It doesn't cost much to add a learner, even on a "powerful " car.

@PonyPatter44 @faerietales agree it’s easy to put on insurance, it does take minutes online and they are insured from that day.

OP, just insist they do the insurance, I wouldn’t just say no full stop - she’s excited to get driving.

Sexist! As a mother, I have taken all four of my children out driving. But they were all insured to drive the vehicles.

Did the car have L plates on it or is that another law your DH broke?

Oh let’s not make this about sexism please! We are talking about a dad, daughter situation in OP - good for you that you took your DCs out driving.

He's broken the law by allowing someone to drive that car without insurance.

End of.

Who's voting you are BU?

Driving without insurance is just not acceptable, full stop.

Does any of the people voting that you are BU fancy going into an accident with an uninsured driver? Even as pedestrians?

He was with her. She isn't insured. We didn't want her driving the main family car as we don't think it's a suitable car to learn in. It is a sport version and fast (don't want to say the make). No L plates and given the fact she's only had 5 lessons I don't believe she is totally safe to drive a car without dual control yet.

You say ‘we’ this and ‘we’ that but apparently your husband has changed his mind.

It sounds like you have another family car too. Is she on the insurance for that and if so, why isn’t she content to learn in that one?

It's not setting a great example is it?

They might find it useful to read Annex 3 of the Highway Code. It deals with both insurance and learner drivers. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/the-highway-code/annex-3-motor-vehicle-documentation-and-learner-driver-requirements

Your DH would have been in quite a lot of shit if Mr Plod had come across them. Uninsured and no L plates...what a dick.

Part of learning to drive is respecting the rules of the road and being legal.. insurance MOT etc. It seems both your DD and DH aren't mature enough

We also have a sporty version of a basic car and not only would the insurance be too much I think the car would be toopowerful for a learner so DS can't drive it. He totally accepts this

Imagine if she’d killed a child or an animal? Yeah I’d divorce over that without hesitation and if I was a neighbour I’d be furious. If they hit another vehicle - zero claim. Oh and the fancy car would be seized.

He should have made sure she was on the insurance.

You said, "our fairly powerful car", so I assume he is 50/50 owner. Given this, why has he got no say? That does seem quite controlling.

Also, please leave it out with the Top Gear car report.
Don't see how vehicle specs as vastly relevant to your question, as all cars are "powerful" and capable of inflicting severe damage on other other objects and living creatures.

She is an uninsured learner driver. She is breaking the law.

Your husband is an idiot who is also breaking the law.

Tell him if it happens again you will report both of them.

You might save a life.

Is your DD and DH prepared to foot the bill if she miss judges her footing or steering and hits another car as an uninsured driver? I can see why your annoyed as well, irresponsible!