Should a Brain Surgeon be up at night with a baby doing night feeds ?

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

Should a surgeon working full time, operating on patients each day be up with a baby at night doing 2/3 hourly feeds.

If they were operating in your child and had had only 3/4 hours sleep each night over the last fortnight would this be acceptable to you?

As already mentioned on the thread, a surgeon’s salary isn’t enormously generous unlike some people here believe. You certainly wouldn’t want a cheap nanny looking after your precious baby while both parents are unconscious, would you. A better and more cost effective suggestion might be for a sleep consultant to come in and train child to sleep, but don’t think that’s necessary unless a toddler +.

They're probably more of a danger on the drive into work but we're oddly fine with people getting behind the wheel tired/distracted/hung over/medicated

Absolutely re the menopause!

Well if she's a breastfeeding brain surgeon, she won't have a whole lot of choice.

The point isn’t whether they’re a brain surgeon, the question is whether or not they’re a parent. If they’re the parent then they need to be parenting equally. So if they’re not doing night feeds, what do they do instead so the other parent isn’t doing all of the hard bits?

@DefinitelyMaybe92 not that it would be any of your business.

The question is also how much sleep do they need, I take about 4 hours a night, any more and I'm groggy and feel rubbish.

Some people just don't sleep as much, or need as much sleep.

A brain surgeon makes enough money to hire a night nurse. There's no reason his wife should have to do all the night wakings just because he's got a Big Important Job.

OP has plopped and I'm sure will not return, but this isn't a hard one to answer. I wonder what the point of asking was?

I’m sorry? What wouldn’t?

mums get maternity leave unless the dad is on paternity leave I don’t think parenting equally applies.

On the nights before they are in work - clearly its inadvisable
Days off - yes they should help gove their partner a break why wouldnt they???

If you are on pat leave you should be helping...particularly immediately pp.

Babies need 2/3 hour night feeds for 3-4 months tops..

Night nanny is also an excellent option is these sorts of circs.

All these posters thinking neurosurgeons are millionaires. A senior registrar might earn £60k, not generally considered to be a massive salary. Consultants earn more, obviously, but many surgeons are not consultants.

IME Neurosurgeons tend to earn decent money and if female wait until they are a bit further in their career to have babies. They usually are married to partners who have similar jobs so household income is decent. Most importantly they tend to still come from a background where they get help with uni costs, house deposits etc.

No, brain surgeons should not be doing night feeds or any childcare whatsoever. They should also not be doing any house work or have any other responsibilities in life (in case they get stressed out and can’t concentrate on operating). They should be well looked after and be waited on hand and foot to make sure they are fully relaxed and ready to face each operation with the freshest of minds (and hands). If you have a brain surgeon in your family, please please look after them well.

A Night Nanny ? are they just not for the royal family and mega rich.

Night nanny's aren't prohibitively expensive as most are only used for a limited time.

No.

Reflecting...

I feel if you ARE a neurosurgeon then you'd know how important sleep is for everyone and are smart enough to have thought of
A. How you can support your partner
B. A night nanny

for the first six months whilst baby was in our room my husband was in the spare room and I did all night feeds and wake ups

the way I saw it was he had a 30 minute drive to work 6:30am every day

I had no plans but the odd baby group the next day as I was on maternity leave I did t expect him to help at all at night

he helped at the night the first three weeks as he was off work though

now if baby (toddler!) wakes at night we take it in turns as we’re both working

so I wouldn’t expect the surgeon to be helping at night only if the other parent is on parental leave

if both parents are working then I think both parents need to do night time

No. I’m assuming if the baby is that small the other partner is not at work so they should be up. My dh never did night feeds, although that was mostly cos I was ebfing and didn’t express

That’s why nurses have buddy checks but it’s really not comparable.

As a person who is facing brain surgery and has spent a lot of time on nuerology wards and discussions around the brain with medical experts, brain surgery is just not comparable to other fields of surgery or medical roles. Controlled bleeding in any other part of the body would cause a devastating brain injury. A mm of difference could mean the loss of speech, vision, ability to swallow etc. It’s not just the risk of death

I think all parents should share the parental load. But bare in mind surgeons aren’t operating 5 days a week. They probably have 2/3 surgery days and my hope would be that those days they’re well rested and can pick up the slack on days where they don’t need to stand in an operating theater for hours on end

Mother in Law by any chance?

Loads of random jobs have safety-critical elements. I am a translator and if I mess up people potentially die. E.g. mistranslating ingredients can cause fatal allergic reactions (which is why AI is a shit idea).

You've started your post with a logical fallacy.

There is no neurosurgeon working full time (10 sessions) who's operating daily. Their job plan will include clinic, admin time and SPA - usually two sessions. You'll have about one big and one day surgery list a week.

So yeah, if you're operating the next day you probably need good sleep. But the idea that your average brain surgeon is spending every day with someone's life in their hands is unrealistic.

DOI - doctor (with small children, up regularly in the night) married to a surgeon who also helps in the night.

It's really interesting how much people still think doctors/surgeons earn, despite recent strikes and information around it. Sure the pay at the top end eventually is good (might take 20 yesrs to get there), but most doctors/surgeons with newborns will still be registrars, earning around 60k (with lots of expenses other careers dont come with).

Most registrars couldn't afford a house big enough to accommodate a regular night nurse, never mind the cost of one.

Sleep deprivation is on a par with impairment from alcohol or drugs. If only there were a way to make an industry around testing and prohibition and we'd all be safer.

This is true. However in practical terms if you stopped every NHS worker who was sleep deprived from working, it would break in less than 24 hours.