I don't know how to go on holiday

[GenerationPolaroid]

This is as ridiculous as it sounds. I am a reasonably smart middle aged woman, DC are now nearly 18 and nearly 21, and we've been on plenty of holidays together as a family of 4. For the most part I have enjoyed them, although I am a homely person, I like my bed, and I find it exhausting to have to cater for others. Things changed from Covid onwards in that I kind of became more anxious about travelling. We didn't for a while anyway as DC had exams, etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am now facing a long summer ahead of us, and I literally have no idea where to start. Part of me want to just book an adult all inclusive, but we're not even swimming pool/beach people! We don't even love extreme heat! If I think about booking something different, I become overwhelmed about all the different elements, flights, hotel, entertainment... and I keep going back in circles. Is this happening to anyone else? How can I break through this block??
YABU - booking a holiday is not that big a deal, just get on with it
YANBU - booking a holiday is a minefield that often doesn't pay off

What sort of holiday do you want?
If you find flights overwhelming , what about a UK holiday? Week in the Lakes or Cornwall?

If you don't enjoy the idea of a hot place or pool beach then don't plan to go to those places.

What is making you think you should book something?

If you want time to relax and have a break from daily life then I would think about what would actually relax you ...you could stay home and enjoy films or reading or just whatever.

Or go to a city in a cool climate, an activity holiday, a food and drink tour?

Or do you feel the pressure because you want to do something with your kids while they still want to come?

Well, start by thinking about where sounds attractive to you? What kind of holiday would you find appealing? If you don't like heat, think about what temperatures you would find pleasant. If you don't like beaches/pools, what do you like?

Don’t book an all inclusive if you’re not sunbathing swimming pool lovers. There are loads of different options for holidays. We’re going to Lake Garda with Great Rail Journeys from St Pancras, which is definitely not a lazing in the sun holiday. You can cruise the Norwegian Fiords, or go to Iceland for whale watching and the Northern Lights, or visit Egypt, sail down the Nile, see the Valley of the Kings.

What do interests you?

Maybe consider a cruise. No need for flights as you can get onboard from Southampton. The ships itinerary means you don’t need to make any arrangements but know there will be plenty to do. There are activities for all ages and interests. Then once you have booked a cruise find a Facebook group that gives ideas and suggestions from people who have been on the same trip.

I don’t really like booking holidays as so much work and I’m a FT working single mum.

my DC are 16 and 18 and we’ve done cruises (with Celebrity) for the last 2 years and going again this year. If you go via a cruise company (can recommend one who have been great for this year) then they will sort flights too.

if you don’t like heat I can highly recommend Norwegian Fjords. So many interesting places to visit and breathtaking scenery.

you can have time together, time apart and get delivered to amazing places so no need to overthink your itinerary and can book the occasional on shore visit if you like

Snap @wednesday32!

Could you tell your kids and partner that you are out of ideas and it's up to them to plan something? And you'll go along with what they decide.

Or run a decision tree workshop (ie chat over coffee and cake) with them. The only thing you need are a stack of post its, some pens, a jar and a big piece of paper. And beforehand you need to write down your questions.

Then start with abroad or not abroad. All four of you have to agree on that - it's quite likely people will come up with ideas here. Great - get them to write down 'Sardinia' or 'Orkneys' on a post it and put it in the jar.

Other choices could be flying or land transport (car or train), hotel or self catering, one week or two, etc, until you've got a shape of the kind of holiday you want.

Sometimes you'll agree that it doesn't matter. Fine - move onto next choice. Sometimes you'll make a choice that constrains other choices (hence the decision tree). If you all agree on UK followed by Yorkshire then you're not going to fly there.

You're spending a lot of money so it's right to question your choices and the kids are grown up so your needs and requirements have changed. I'd firstly question if they even want to go away with you or would they rather go with friends?
If you don't like lying by a pool then rule out all inclusive package holiday type resorts.
You're probably past the target audience age group for places like centre parcs and caravan sites (unless you went to a basic site and just used it as an accommodation base).
UK or abroad?
How far are you willing to fly or drive?
Hire a car overseas or not?
What sort of thing do you enjoy? cities, shopping, good food, museums, hill walking, watersports??

I find it so much easier doing a Jet2/TUI holiday. If you go B&B or half board you can choose to go out in the evening or just eat at the hotel and charge it to the room. The reps at the hotel can give you information on day trips etc and book them for you, or you can plan yourself.

If you don’t love hot hot holidays then I’d plan some UK trips for the summer and if you still fancy it, go abroad in October.

I have never been on one but was also going to suggest a cruise. Norway would be great and my DF has also done one along the river Danube which they liked for getting off each day and seeing a different city

Just go to a travel agent and get them to book everything.

Or some websites (e.g. Expedia) give you the option of booking flights and hotels in one go.

Since you're all adults (I'm assuming your adult DC will be going with you?) why not talk over the options over a meal. Ask everyone what they'd like to do and brainstorm until you agree on the type of holiday. Then delegate! Why is this all on you? Let them know that you're finding the whole idea overwhelming. Young people are very good at searching for things online and your DC are old enough to do some searching. Besides, they'll enjoy it more if they've had a say in what you do and where you go.

If you’re not beach lovers, have you considered a cruise? All of your entertainment will be on the ship, but you’ll be able to explore different locations each day.

Alternatively, Barcelona is a great ‘everything’ city.
Or if you really don’t want heat you could go exploring in Iceland.

You dont need to do all of it, hand it over to the 18 & 21 yo, give them the budget and base criteria (e.g.not too hot, 7 days, no more than 4 hours travel etc) and see what they can find.

We did this with our teens and ended up on a UK canal trip - we had a blast. They did the locks & steered the boat and I got to relax with my books and was taken out for dinner every night 😀

There's deifnitely an adjustment when the children become adults. My eldest is in his final year of school, and I can't wait for a holidays to no longer be restricted to school holiday times. If it's just the 2 of you, prices will seem so much cheaper than when paying for 4 (but if you're like us, you're still paying for 4 as adult children also want a free holiday lol!).

I tend to orgnaise 'complex' holidays, where we stay in different places and I book everything independently, but I can definitely see the appeal of a package, and there are definitely the right kind of holiday companies out there to cater to whatever your holiday needs are (I'm just tight, so do it myself to save money).

Might be worth picking up a few travel brochures to narrow down some ideas. Sign up to somehting like Travelzoo to get ideas popping into your inbox regularly.

Can you ask chat gpt to help? Tell it what you like about a holiday and climate etc and ask for recommendations? Or here? What's your budget?

Go through a travel counsellor.

We were like this a few years ago and then randomly, DH suggested we go to Holland. Packed up the car, took the Harwich to Hook of Holland ferry, stayed on some really good Eurocamp sites. Park the car up for the holiday and cycle everywhere. A very different kind of holiday if you aren't beach and pool people like us.
We've been most years since 2015 and love it

Go to a travel agent! And explain all that and ask their advice! They’ll love it and find you a great holiday

A cruise round trip from the UK sounds like it would offer what you want.

What sort of budget do you have?

Another vote for ChatGPT. Feed in some basic criteria e.g, abroad or not abroad , which month, the kind of activities you'd like to do and not do and see what it spurts out, then refine it by asking more questions or changing your suggestions.

Why are you forcing yourself to travel in the summer when you don't have any specific desire to? Just enjoy a summer at home. Fill your day with local activities, meet friends...whatever you want.

Another vote for a cruise. Not sure when you want to go? Med obviously hot later in the summer. Royal Caribbean is good, their website lists destinations so that might be a starting point for a conversation with the family.

Try a cruise ? Then all in one place and you don’t even have to leave ship in port if you’re feeling overwhelmed