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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know how to go on holiday

115 replies

GenerationPolaroid · 09/05/2025 10:34

This is as ridiculous as it sounds. I am a reasonably smart middle aged woman, DC are now nearly 18 and nearly 21, and we've been on plenty of holidays together as a family of 4. For the most part I have enjoyed them, although I am a homely person, I like my bed, and I find it exhausting to have to cater for others. Things changed from Covid onwards in that I kind of became more anxious about travelling. We didn't for a while anyway as DC had exams, etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am now facing a long summer ahead of us, and I literally have no idea where to start. Part of me want to just book an adult all inclusive, but we're not even swimming pool/beach people! We don't even love extreme heat! If I think about booking something different, I become overwhelmed about all the different elements, flights, hotel, entertainment... and I keep going back in circles. Is this happening to anyone else? How can I break through this block??
YABU - booking a holiday is not that big a deal, just get on with it
YANBU - booking a holiday is a minefield that often doesn't pay off

OP posts:
telestrations · 09/05/2025 12:02

Have you considered a tour. I did one of Amsterdam and Bruges booked via our local newspaper. The pick up point was our local high street and everything was included and arranged for us. Also very good value and a nice hotel

Laiste · 09/05/2025 12:02

Another one recommending going to a travel agent.

I've booked loads of holidays abroad online myself in the past but haven't done it for about 8 years. I dabbled with it after xmas for this summer but was a bit overwhelmed.

So - a couple of months ago i walked into our nearest travel agent and said ''I want somewhere hot and cheap for 4 of us. Two rooms. A pool. Some food. Not loud and clubby. Between this week and that week. Don't really care where. Flying out of X airport or Y''.

And the lady clicked away on her keyboard and found us a week in Rhodes at a price we liked within about 2 minutes flat.

Think a little bit about what you want. Just roughly. Sight seeing or laying by the pool or a mixture. How many of you. When you want to go. Your budget per person. Where you want to fly from. Go to a travel agent and see what pops up Smile

(make sure your passports are in date!)

Someone2025 · 09/05/2025 12:09

GenerationPolaroid · 09/05/2025 10:34

This is as ridiculous as it sounds. I am a reasonably smart middle aged woman, DC are now nearly 18 and nearly 21, and we've been on plenty of holidays together as a family of 4. For the most part I have enjoyed them, although I am a homely person, I like my bed, and I find it exhausting to have to cater for others. Things changed from Covid onwards in that I kind of became more anxious about travelling. We didn't for a while anyway as DC had exams, etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am now facing a long summer ahead of us, and I literally have no idea where to start. Part of me want to just book an adult all inclusive, but we're not even swimming pool/beach people! We don't even love extreme heat! If I think about booking something different, I become overwhelmed about all the different elements, flights, hotel, entertainment... and I keep going back in circles. Is this happening to anyone else? How can I break through this block??
YABU - booking a holiday is not that big a deal, just get on with it
YANBU - booking a holiday is a minefield that often doesn't pay off

Why is it all on you though, does your husband not have an opinion,

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 09/05/2025 12:11

Well perhaps given your DC ages now you'd like to have a holiday just you and your DH? Why not discuss with him if there's any places he'd like to see, decide on a destination (or a few) first and then go to a travel agent. You'll pay more but they'll do all the work for you. Maybe once you've holidayed again you'll feel more able to organise it yourself next time. My colleague is heading off to Sicily tomorrow with her DH, they are flying into Palermo and staying a few nights there and then going to 3 other places over the next 2 weeks, travelling by train so neither of them have to worry about driving etc. all hotels booked are walking distance to the train stations and they fly home from an airport near the last town they're staying in. They plan to just mooch around the various places, enjoy the scenery and food/drink etc and do plenty of walking. It sounds wonderful! Not all holidays have to be AI in a resort. I hope you can book something that excites you and have a great time - I'd be miserable if I didn't have a holiday booked to look forward to!

Tartanboots · 09/05/2025 12:18

If there's something one of you really wants to see, plan a trip around that? Or get the kids to plan it and surprise you. If you don't like sun/pool/beach then all inclusive wouldn't be worth it.

Purplebunnie · 09/05/2025 12:22

What about Scotland or Wales? Both stunning countries with beautiful scenery and castles? Sorry for those in Ireland and NI I have never visited so no experience. I've not been to the Lake District either but believe that is gorgeous,

Malbecfan · 09/05/2025 12:22

I'm another advocate of the High St Travel Agent. We have used ours several times and they have tailor-made trips for us.

18 months ago I realised I had a 2 week half term holiday in October. DH was owed lots of time off and the DC were at uni so it was just the 2 of us. I went in to the TA entirely on spec and said "I have a 12 day gap from work and I want to go somewhere nice". We chatted for a couple of minutes and as I was gazing at the map on the wall, I asked her about Seattle. She did some searching, we then looked at Vancouver and she put together a great trip where we flew to Seattle, did some independent sightseeing and things that we both enjoy, then Amtrak to Vancouver (I really recommend that) and a few more days of exploring before flying back. The hotels were excellent and we used public transport all the time to get about. DH had a sea-plane lesson, we took a trip in one, we went into the snow, we visited the Boeing factory, it was amazing. The TA sorted the flights, hotels and trains.

Judiezones · 09/05/2025 12:24

How about a cruise, either ocean or river?

glittereyelash · 09/05/2025 12:36

A city break might work for you. What are your interests? Do you like sightseeing, museums, visiting historical landmarks, fine dining, wineries? Start with what you want to do and work from there. Somewhere like Paris berlin, Warsaw might be good choices!

fruitpastille · 09/05/2025 12:37

This is why we just drive to France or UK and do self catering! With either pool or coast or both.

Reonie · 09/05/2025 12:39

We don't like heat, nor pools/beaches, so we go on holiday in low season and usually travel rather than do a package (iyswim). So if we go to Spain in winter then we book a flight into one place, get on trains to a couple of other places, flight back from a different place.

We spend the summers here at home while it's warm and do some day trips/eat out at places we wouldn't normally go to, maybe a weekend away in a nice hotel.

Once we got over the idea of a summer holiday tied to school terms, it really opened things up and has been a lot of fun.

Superscientist · 09/05/2025 12:49

I think this might be a rip the plaster off situation but I'd avoid the classical holiday that probably won't suit you. I'd have a look for a 3-5day trip maybe in the UK or short haul flight - France - Germany sort of distance. We have had some lovely varied holidays in that region - long weekend in Germany, a week walking in the french Alps, a week on a canal holiday through France, 10 days in rural France and another 10 day trip in south France near the coast. We had a 3 yo at this time and it was a nice balance an hour or so on the beach in the morning for her and then the afternoon in the countryside or onsite pool. We have booked air BnB type accommodation each time so no other tourists around.

What sort of thing do you like doing?

Lovingthehamsterwheel · 09/05/2025 12:52

I have been looking at some of the all inclhsive mountain resorts in europe, loads of included activities, all food and drink included, no beach.
I think a holiday is a chance to enjoy yourself, so think of what you enjoy and go and do it.is it shopping, mountain biking, history, do you like cities, nature, beach, what weather do you like the most.
Just think of if you could spend a week doing something what would you like to do most, then google search it

LongStoryLong · 09/05/2025 12:53

Definitely travel agent. Walk into a high street one, have a chat. I’m doing this at the moment. Planning a different sort of holiday to the ones we’ve been doing as a family, long haul, expensive, high stakes. The travel agent is brilliant- planning it all for us, international and domestic flights, a couple of brilliant overnight stays and lots of fab hotel choice, all at prices that are just as good or better than I could have got myself. I’m a total convert.

5128gap · 09/05/2025 13:05

I would suggest you book an AI package (takes a lot of the stress out of the travel logistics, what to eat, budget etc) in an interesting location where there are easily accessible things to do and see. I have had a good experience doing this in Malta.

C152 · 09/05/2025 13:12

Would it be easier if you just used a travel agent? Some people like doing everything themselves - researching options and booking every element directly, whereas some may want something really special, like a 'once in a lifetime' type trip that they're happy to splurge on but don't know where to start / would value a specialist's expertise. There's also a happy medium. Decide what type of people you actually are and what you enjoy. You don't like the beach/pool, which is fine - are you active / adventurous / book lovers / photographers / animal lovers etc? If you can narrow it down a bit, google travel agents that specialise in those holidays and ring them to get some ideas. They'll be able to suggest countries / cities / itineraries, providing as much or as little help as you wish.

BunnyLake · 09/05/2025 13:21

This is how I felt especially as a single mother so one year I booked a cruise. We aren’t beach/swimming pool people either so I chose one that had some interesting stop overs. My kids liked some aspects and not others but generally I’d say it was a good choice for our particular circumstances. I’d loved the fact food was pretty much at our disposal, I really missed that aspect when we got home.

BlueTitShark · 09/05/2025 13:28

ChatGPT.
Start with reviewing what you’d all like to do, interest etc…
How much flying/train/boat you’re happy with
Then ask it to give you ideas.

RabbitsRock · 09/05/2025 13:29

One of my FB friends is an independent travel agent & finds some great deals.

TrustyRusty68 · 09/05/2025 14:07

What about a cruise round the Norwegian fjords or walking holiday in the lakes. A city break where you can explore a new city, visit museums, go to some nice restaurants and explore.
The main thing is for you to have a break & come back happy that you’ve enjoyed your time. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks :-)

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 09/05/2025 14:09

Go into a travel agents and just say here’s our dates we want this, we don’t want this. This is our budget….done. They can find something for you. Xx

comeandhaveteawithme · 09/05/2025 14:22

The only barrier to booking a Holiday that I come across is whether or not I can afford one.
I would consider myself extremely fortunate if my main worry was that I couldn't make up my mind about what kind of Holiday I wanted.
Lots of people don't even get much choice and are just grateful for whatever they can afford.
Just have a think, chat to your family, and book something.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 09/05/2025 14:35

Don’t book an all inclusive if you’re not sunbathing swimming pool lovers.

that's not what all inclusive means. You can book all inclusive that have nothing to do with swimming pools in the sun, it's just the catering aspect.

MumbleJumble123 · 09/05/2025 14:36

I love planning holidays!
If you want to PM me your budget, dates and any other requirements/restrictions then I’ll happily send you a few options (I get bored in the evenings waiting for my baby to go to sleep)

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 09/05/2025 14:38

What do you actually like to do?

The choices are endless, you could book a city break with one day exploring, one day relaxing in the hotel. People have mentioned cruises.. Some people go on silent retreats, on painting holidays. You can do anything and everything - until you look at your budget 😂

What would your ideal holiday be? Start with that and go from there.