Children being left alone by ExH

[LolaMontez92]

I share two children with my exH, DD6 and DS5. Last night my DD told me that “Daddy leaves them home alone whilst he goes running, and he gave them a set of rules”.

ExH also has two large dogs, who I don’t trust (I lived with them
for 7 years), that would have also been left with the children.

A friend of mine also saw exH last week in a large supermarket. It was his day to have the kids but he was alone. He briefly chatted to my friend but no mention of where the kids were. Friend told me about this. DD and DS both readily confirmed that they had seen my friend at the supermarket, from outside, where they had been left in the car alone. This, according to DD happens often.

for context, he is a difficult man to communicate with. Tbh he’s a fucking arsehole and I’m absolutely livid that he would put our children at risk so he can go off for a run/do a food shop.

the kids aren’t old enough to be safe alone, if an emergency happened etc. I’ve had talks with them about 999 but I would never ever leave them alone in the house, especially not with dogs.

am I mad? I’m completely baffled by this. I don’t understand how anyone could think that’s ok.

They are 5 and 6 years old? That’s not ok in the slightest.

Report to Social Services and school safeguarding team, don’t bother trying to discuss it with him.

Yes. DS turned 5 in March. DD is 6, 7 in July

They are far too young to be left in the house or car alone.

well It clearly needs to stop and you have no choice but to speak with him! When is he due to have them next?

Exercise your parental responsibility and don't send them to him. Let him go to court.

SS will expect OP to exercise her PR to keep the kids safe. It's not their job to police the other parent.

Yup.

This is what I would do if it were, for example, a neighbour or someone I didn't know well. And the issue is the same, isn't it?

Don't stress yourself or potentially compromise yourself, tell SS etc now. They are best equipped to deal with it, not you. Let them talk to the prick.

Look at it this way: if this were a childminder, they would be binned immediately, Ofsted would be involved and unemployment would follow.

The kids have another parent with PR - what do you expect SS to do that OP can't?

Social care can't do anything about this except tell you to keep your kids safe.

Does he have a regular schedule for running? If he does you can request the police do a welfare check on the children at that time. If they found the children alone they would flag things with SS, possibly charge him but the report will be very useful once this goes back to court.

Don't send them to him. And ring the NSPCC for help.

From the NSPCC website:
If you're worried about a child who’s been left at home alone before or believe they are going to be left again, please contact our helpline.

Call us free on 0808 800 5000
Email us at [email protected]
You can discuss your concerns with a helpline counsellor who can offer confidential advice.

You don't have to say who you are if you don't want to. But if we decide a child is at risk of harm or their needs aren't being met we’ll ask you for the child's details so we can make a referral to the appropriate agency, such as Children's Services, to help keep the child safe.

Do not do this! If the OP deliberately leaves her kids at risk like that, what do you think the police would say? 🤔

It's the OP's job to keep her kids safe! She has PR. It's literally the law.

It isn't the op leaving the children at risk it is their other parent. The op needs evidence or he's just going to deny and potentially the op get accused of alienation especially if their is already a court order for contact.

Wrong. The OP has reasonable belief that her kids are at risk of harm, so she must exercise her PR. The police will NOT go along with your ridiculous idea.

Don't send them and tell him why. Seek legal advice about this .

This. It's the only sensible option.

And there is no real ‘proof’ only he said,she said

not enough to stop contact if already court ordered…which op hasn’t said

Thankfully it’s my weekend with them. He would be due to collect them from school on Monday.

No court order - we share 50/50 which was arranged just between us when we split up

You can absolutely use the PR to try and stop this but do you have a formal CAO? If not it’s time to go back to court and get one with clear, specifics about things like this.

Again, wrong. The OP has genuine reason to think she is sending her kids into an unsafe situation, so she must EXERCISE HER PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY. As per the 1989 Children Act.

How is she supposed to do that? It’s her Ex and i imagine she doesn’t have any control of his behaviour. I’d log it with social services as they might have a word with him and it’s also on record if there are other problems in the future.

Cross post. No CAO so go back to court to get one including some really specific things. How they are handed over and expected supervision etc. that way if he breaks any of those things you actually have a case.