Page 10 | To ask for things that happen on MN that you’ve never seen happen IRL

JandamiHash · 2025-05-08T22:35:23+00:00

I’ve never seen or heard a parent refer to their child as “sexy” I’ve never seen anyone having a nap on a public bench. I’ve never seen someone cajole their daughter into the aisle at a wedding so they can be a stealth bridesmaid All the above is what I’ve read about on MN recently that people do and have seen before done, regularly.

JudgeJ · 09/05/2025 13:41

Newname71 · 09/05/2025 08:39

I work in a dental practice and all the nurses are collectively referred to as “the girls”. At our last practice meeting one of the dentists asked if we were offended/bothered by it. He’d called us the girls to another dentist who told him it was offensive, we are women.
Some of us are in our 40’s and 50’s and are more than happy to be referred to as a girl! Not one member of staff was upset by it.

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That's because you're clearly intelligent! I have a group of friends I liken to The Golden Girls, allocating each character toa friend, The Golden Women just doesn't sound right. Do the males still have a 'boys/lads night out'? I pity people's exhaustion constantly seeking things to be offended by.
When I got a major promotion my Headteacher hugged me after they'd offered it to me, the next morning he called me into his office 'to apologise', apparently one of the Governors had told him he had behaved badly. I told him the hug made all the prep for the interview worthwhile!

Whatafustercluck · 09/05/2025 13:47

I don't know any mum who has drunkenly suggested in a parents whatsapp group that their friend should sit on the sexy teacher's face.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 09/05/2025 13:53

JandamiHash · 08/05/2025 23:39

I’ve also never heard anyone just say “No” and follow up with nothing else because it’s apparently a complete sentence.

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I do this, but only since perimenopause hit 😂

If it's someone close to me then of course they get an explanation/discussion, but if it's a CF, it's a simple 'no' and I don't feel uncomfortable leaving it there.

5128gap · 09/05/2025 13:58

Never seen a cheat shunned by their friends, colleagues and community in support of their betrayed spouse. Never been in 'literal agony' from being squeezed by an overweight person on a plane. Never failed to find clothing small enough for me due to vanity sizing. Never found women to be 'just as bad as men' when it comes to anti social behaviour, violence and sexual harassment. Never had an 'older lady' push me rudely out of the way. Never known anyone mortified by being asked if they 'mean to be so rude'. Never known a beautiful 20 something women pursue anyone's mediocre middle aged DH.

x2boys · 09/05/2025 14:28

monktasmic · 09/05/2025 00:43

I’ve seen all those three listed in the OP.
i have also, in the past 2 months, had people in receipt of benefits tell me what they are getting - and what it’s for whilst thinking ‘you are exactly why the changes proposed are being brought in’. One had been ill some 20? years ago and the other has a child, no longer resident - about to complete their third year of a degree at a RG uni - he apparently needs her - she’s furious that a recent 6 figure inheritance means her benefits will stop. I was genuinely agog that she received benefits for him at all (I’m quite bleeding heart but was thinking ‘good, get a fucking job’)

She can,t be getting benefits for her adult child at university
All child related benefits stop at 20 or when they leave college /sixth form whichever comes first
Unless he's in receipt of disability benefits and she's his appointee,but if he's at university that's seems unlikely he wouldn't be able to manages own finances

XelaM · 09/05/2025 14:43

Surferosa · 09/05/2025 12:19

I'm quoting this again as forgot to say I also agree with the first point. So many women on here seem married to men who the minute they have a "big job" become completely incapable of any childcare or household task.

There was a thread last week where the OP was a stay at home mum with school age kids and her husband had made a reasonable request that she get a job to help with household finances.

There wasn't any suggestion anywhere that the OPs husband didn't contribute towards childcare or household tasks but some posters became absolutely hysterical at the thought of the OP going back to work, that she needed to make a detailed spreadsheet of all the tasks she did, how long it took her to do and then present this to her husband. Insinuations that her husband couldn't possibly keep up his career if she went back to work as he would need to gasp help out with housework, the children would be neglected and the house would fall into some sort of derelict fleapit state as both parents would simply not be able to manage housework and work as well.

Whereas in the real life myself and my husband and most other couples I know manage to work and run a house jointly as a couple without it being some major drama or both collapsing for exhaustion. The division of labour can be solved by two adults having a simple mature conversation such as "do you want to do the kids bedtime or the hoovering" without the need for complex, detailed spreadsheets detailing the time and task.

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I agree with this. I come from Eastern Europe where the vast majority of women never had the luxury of not working. It was/is completely the norm for both parents to work full time and run the household/childcare together. It was also the same for my grandparents' generation and those before them. All men in my family are normal responsible adults that can be asked to help out if needed.

Aintgointogoa · 09/05/2025 14:59

lovegoodlovegood · 09/05/2025 01:10

my dad does! Butter and salt

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@Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould I do ! butter and crystal salt. Radis buerre in French and a very common part of an hors d'ouevre. And the radishes super crunchy and hot.....delicious !

ThisOldThang · 09/05/2025 15:03

x2boys · 09/05/2025 14:28

She can,t be getting benefits for her adult child at university
All child related benefits stop at 20 or when they leave college /sixth form whichever comes first
Unless he's in receipt of disability benefits and she's his appointee,but if he's at university that's seems unlikely he wouldn't be able to manages own finances

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People go to university after A-Levels aged 18. In Scotland, they go a year earlier at 17.

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Sorry i misread your post.

Butchyrestingface · 09/05/2025 15:07

ThisOldThang · 09/05/2025 15:03

People go to university after A-Levels aged 18. In Scotland, they go a year earlier at 17.

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Sorry i misread your post.

Edited

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Plenty of people in Scotland go to uni after 6th year and are already 18 or about to turn it.

I think only a minority go after 5th year, hence 17 or about to turn 17.

luckylavender · 09/05/2025 15:31

XelaM · 09/05/2025 00:49

I must say I don't know anyone in real life who charges their young adult kids rent for living at home. This seems very common on MN, but I have never come across it in real life.

I have also never come across people who wouldn't invite their nieces/nephews to their weddings and insist on keeping them child-free at any cost. Again, a common occurrence on MN.

Edited

Both things are very standard

luckylavender · 09/05/2025 15:32

@AffIt - I know a few people who have had it. Two fatally.

luckylavender · 09/05/2025 15:32

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 09/05/2025 00:57

I’ve never seen anyone butter a radish……

It's very French

Redpeach · 09/05/2025 15:33

I've never met anyone who loses their shit over a tiny scratch on their car

luckylavender · 09/05/2025 15:33

Dita73 · 09/05/2025 01:50

I don’t know anyone who’s child is ASD or ADHD yet on Mumsnet it seems that everyone’s is

I know plenty of those

luckylavender · 09/05/2025 15:34

Kitkatcatflap · 09/05/2025 02:17

I have never heard of any mother or extended family being in the delivery room with their daughter. I have only seen it on her - MIL & Mother want to be at the birth!

I know people who have delivered their grandchildren

FrillySocksAndDocs · 09/05/2025 15:35

I need to see the thread about the bridesmaid, please link!

Differentforgirls · 09/05/2025 15:49

Butchyrestingface · 09/05/2025 15:07

Plenty of people in Scotland go to uni after 6th year and are already 18 or about to turn it.

I think only a minority go after 5th year, hence 17 or about to turn 17.

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My brother went at 16. Turned 17 in the January. He was in 5th year when he was accepted for Uni.

Rosscameasdoody · 09/05/2025 15:51

JudgeJ · 09/05/2025 13:27

Too many people class 'abusive' as anything they don't like, thereby diminishing the experiences of those genuinely abused.

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But far too many are unaware of what constitutes abuse. There was a thread a week or so ago where the OP’s husband, who had a history of explosive temper, balled up and threw some tissues at her, landing in her eye and causing some discomfort. Her offence ? He was driving and asked for tissues, so she placed them on his knee while she dealt with their child and they slipped onto the floor, so he felt justified in retrieving them and throwing them at her in temper, in front of their children. There followed the most ridiculous discussion about how tissues wouldn’t hurt, the lack of anger management and escalation was completely overlooked and she was basically told to stop being a drama queen.

There is also a current thread where OP divorced her ex because of DV. She moved away with their son and he’s still trying to control her with gaslighting about his ‘rights’ and weaponising contact arrangements with their son. She was asking for advice on minimising the risks of him absconding with the child and two posters told her that she was just as controlling as her ex and as bad as he was !! Beggars belief.

Btrsun10 · 09/05/2025 15:56

GarlicPile · 09/05/2025 01:53

I've never heard anyone say 'boak' but am pretty sure it used to crop up often in comics like Beano and Dandy. You've gotta find a way to write that disgusted noise! It's no dafter than 'bleugh', really.

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Boak is very common in Northern Ireland.

Andoutcomethewolves · 09/05/2025 15:57

I'm currently in hospital with sepsis so I can assure you it's a real thing. I was unconscious for four days, just starting to recover now with the help of lots of IV drips.

Not something I'd recommend but very much a real thing!

3luckystars · 09/05/2025 16:00

I have never seen anyone react so badly to someone having an affair. Anyone I have heard about doing it, in real life, people don’t seem to care at all. Here, even having a dream about it is like a murder.

MamaLenny · 09/05/2025 16:01

I've never met any step parents/grandparents who treat step children so badly, exclude them from weddings and don't buy them Christmas presents. Thankfully.

FrillySocksAndDocs · 09/05/2025 16:05

3luckystars · 09/05/2025 16:00

I have never seen anyone react so badly to someone having an affair. Anyone I have heard about doing it, in real life, people don’t seem to care at all. Here, even having a dream about it is like a murder.

My husband's affair caused me to have a complete mental breakdown, I was psychotic and even 15 months on I'm still on Prozac, lorazepm, quetiapine, propranolol and zopiclone. It has completely ruined my life.

Butchyrestingface · 09/05/2025 16:08

3luckystars · 09/05/2025 16:00

I have never seen anyone react so badly to someone having an affair. Anyone I have heard about doing it, in real life, people don’t seem to care at all. Here, even having a dream about it is like a murder.

Do you mean in real-life no-one you know cares about their own spouse having an affair?

I don't have strong feelings if Mrs McClatchie 3 doors down is cheating on her husband with the Royal Mail man, but I imagine I'd probably feel differently if it were my own (non-existent) spouse.

CautiousLurker01 · 09/05/2025 16:13

FrillySocksAndDocs · 09/05/2025 16:05

My husband's affair caused me to have a complete mental breakdown, I was psychotic and even 15 months on I'm still on Prozac, lorazepm, quetiapine, propranolol and zopiclone. It has completely ruined my life.

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So sorry this happened to you. I know several people, not in MN, who equally fell to pieces when an affair was discovered and divorce followed. One climbed over the OW’s garden wall to spy on her and exH in the garden, police called. She was in bits. 7 years later she still isn’t fully over it but is slowly moving on.

I do also know a few who’ve got mad, got even, and kicked the guy into touch and never given him another thought. How people respond is so varied.