Hen in tatters part two

[Dayna87]

Original

I can’t update my previous thread anymore so I have an update for anyone who still cares at this point lol.

My hen is now sorted, the issue wasn’t money or the beach club. One of my friends who dropped out has a landmark birthday this year and unbeknown to me was hoping to go to Ibiza.

So she spoke to some of her closer friends in the group and convinced them to pull out on the basis they are going to my wedding abroad and they could go to my UK hen. This would mean they go to Ibiza for my friends birthday and not have to go twice this summer.

I found this out from one of the friends who dropped out directly and obviously I was absolutely livid that a so called friend would go behind my back like that and selfishly get people to pull out due to her birthday.

Long story short, 4/5 are now going on my hen and the ‘friend’ whose birthday it is, isn’t going.

I’m sure you’ll all sleep easy now x

Oh what a shitty thing to do.

but I’d also
be looking askance at the friends who dropped out cause she asked them to

So you were expecting people to go to your wedding that’s abroad and an abroad hen do? Jesus…

I can picture what this entire friend group looks like in my head. 😂

All as bad as each other.

So they said come in my birthday instead of the hen, then you found out so got upset and now they've all ditched her birthday for your hen.... A

100% I could the minute I started reading it.

You sound a pretty toxic friendship group!

Yep me too 😂😂

Wedding abroad and hen abroad?

Nightmare.

Yep! Absolutely this

I voted YABU on your first thread - but this update is very much YANBU. Your and your MOH's guts were right.

Something was up!

Your friends are bitches.

Yeah it was clear something wasn’t adding up x

It sounds like a very toxic group and I am not sure I would want any of them at my wedding.

I am glad people admitted what happened. I wonder if the other hens felt a bit pressurised to go to the other lady's birthday event?

The friend who co-ordinated this can be quite over bearing in terms of her personality. The others have had the decency to message me to apologise so I will forgive but not forget.

Wedding is all booked and people paid for.

Yeah they did x

I think you may be getting a bit of flack @Dayna87 because MNers don't like abroad hens or abroad weddings.

People pulling out because the costs have gone up and they can no longer afford is one thing. But it seems that this was not the case.

I am actually quite glad to be wrong based on my first gut reading. And I am pleased it seems to have been resolved positively.

Thank you, yes I’ve learnt a lot of people on here don’t like going abroad for these things. Each to their own x

That’s so shitty that they all went behind your back and lied about it, are you sure you still want them there? I bet this has opened your eyes to your group dynamic 😬

Will the other friends not be able to afford to go twice? Pretty shit of them all to go along with it tbh.

Honestly it seems like mumsnet is the worst place to post about a hen do, all you get are unkind comments attacking the OP for wanting to go away somewhere or do something fun.

OP your instincts were right and that was really shitty of your friends to back out at the last minute. I'm glad you got to the bottom of it. And now you know where you stand with them- especially the over-bearing one. I'd be distancing myself from her, personally.

Hope you have a fantastic hen do (all of them!!) & a spectacular wedding too!

Crikey that's a shocker update.

With friends like that you don't need enemies