To have found what this mum said to my DH out of line

[commentingmum]

there was a school event on recently and the parents were invited. I usually attend but couldn’t make it and sent my DH.

I told my DS6 that I wouldn’t be able to come but would send his dad. He was a bit disappointed. In any case my DH went along and my DS was not happy.

other parents and teachers saw this behaviour of course.

one of the mums said to my husband that it’s quite clear he needs to spend less time at work and more time with his son.

I am not particularly keen on this mum in the first place, so I’m unsure if that’s clouding my judgement - but it’s not a very nice thing to say? Everyone else was supportive and trying to help the situation, yet she came out with that..

Was she right?

needs to spend less time at work and more time with his son

If only life was that simple hey

From what you’ve said DH doesn’t normally attend school event and the comment that you would be sending DH makes it sound like you’re the default parent.

It was rude to say some thing but does she have a point?

Seems a weirdly antagonistic thing to say in those circumstances.

Rude of her to say this. Maybe it touched a nerve though. But none of her business

She was out of line, but she mightn’t have been wrong.

Did your husband tell you this?

Yes, whether it's true or not it's a judgemental and sanctimonious thing to say which clearly wouldn't have helped the situation.

Lots of parents don’t attend anything. Frankly it’s none of her business. Life is challenging when you work and try to be there for school things. If she said anything more, I’d say you were surprised she felt it was her place to say anything, being the default parent attending and not her dh. Resting bitch face. She can fuck off.

Surely it’s up to your husband to decide if he was offended and to defend himself? The way you speak about your husband is as if he’s a child that you send along where you want him to go.

Extremely rude and absolutely none of her business.
Judgemental of her without knowing all the facts.
I'm not surprised you're not keen on her.

She's a cheeky bitch.

Right or wrong do you think its appropriate for random outsiders to poke their nose into your marriage?

Her nose is very much where it shouldn't be. It's not up to her how your family arranges itself.

Was she rude? Yes.

Does that matter more than if she was right to your actual family? No.

so, if there is truth in what she says, I would focus more on addressing that than whether she was rude or not.

What was the behaviour your child displayed? We have kids whose parents attend every single thing that still get upset, especially when they leave. It’s not necessarily an indication of their relationships or how much time they spend together.

TBH it’s all completely irrelevant. Even if she did have a point, it was extremely rude and quite nasty to get a dig in while he was struggling anyway. Even worse if it was in front of your son too.

Even if she was right, she was out of order. It’s not her place.

She must be cold up in that ivory tower.

I'd be livid if some judgey fucker said something like that to my husband. Although he doesn't need me to defend him to be fair.

What did your husband say?

Does she have a partner? Was he there?

Either way, she needs to pipe down. She has no idea of the family circumstances.

Even if she was right, it was not her place to come out with a comment like that.

How rude to stick her oar in. She doesn't know you or your circumstances. Judgemental cow.

At least the laws of karma mean her own little darling is going to have a total shitfit for her some time very soon haha

Everything about your post and the way you've worded some things ('I sent my dh' 😬) suggests to me that she's right.

Odd of her to say it outloud though.

Did he look totally out of his depth, having no idea how to handle his son or something? I can't think of a reason for a 6 year old to be visibly unhappy with his dad being there. Rude of her but maybe his behaviour was so out there it shocked her?

Agree, it’s none of her business and she should have kept her meddling mouth shut, some people think they know everything about other peoples business when in reality they know very little

I hope he told her that she needs to mind her own business