To not get into partners car after “2 pints”

[aibuagain]

My partner regularly goes for pints after work which annoys me but I don’t voice it as I don’t want to come across as controlling, we have a 1 year old together and I often think why wouldn’t he rather come straight home to us as when I finish work I’m running to see my baby

he gets so angry and annoyed at me when he comes home from the pub and we were due to go somewhere in the car but I then refuse because he’s had a drink. I can’t drive so he does all the driving.

I feel uncomfortable getting into the car with someone that’s had a drink within the limit or not, also I’ve caught him out numerous times having more than the 2 drinks he’s said so I don’t know how much he’s really having.

am I being dramatic?

Plenty are. My DH was and he was entirely typical of our friendship group.

I wouldn’t get in the car with someone who has had 2 pints.

If he finds it annoying then he can avoid the situation by not drinking.

My DH opts for 0% beer if out and driving. He really likes some of them and considers it the best of both worlds.

In the days of Watneys Red Barrel, Double Diamond and other vile apologies for beer of the like kind, perhaps 2 pints would be under the limit for most people. Beer nowadays is significantly stronger on the whole.

Even if he is under the limit (possible) you are not comfortable, and that is enough reason not to get in the car with him.

Absolutely not and if he had driven I would have called the police. That’s my red line and everyone who know me knows it.

Bloody hell, his attitude sounds like a throwback to about the 60s.

Why bother drinking any alcohol when you have passenger's

Scotland none . England I think possibly one .
Again it’s all about how it affects you . Half can be ok for one person and too much for another

If ge is saying two is ok . You can at least double that. Men always half it or if it’s money or penis size they double it .

It's not a set limit like that. 1 pint might be fine for some or 1 pint might put some people over the limit.
He's full of shit.

Drink drivers kill people. Are you happy being with a man with so little regard for people’s lives? That’s the big issue.

The idea that 'two pints' was about ok for driving was in the nineties or earlier, when driving after a drink (rather than zero drinking) was more acceptable, AND beer was weaker.
There's no exact way of telling as others have said, but a rough estimate is up to 3 units of beer for an adult male, assuming they've taken a bit of time to drink it and not just necked it.

Two pints of 3% lager would be just over 3 units, so already dodgy.
Two pints of 5% lager (which is average strength now) is closer to 6 units.

And that's going off what he tells you he's had, if he's saying it's two it's much more likely to be three (or more)

You're not over reacting, you're under reacting. If he is caught drink driving, it's a guaranteed 12 month ban. There's virtually zero chance of mitigating circs.

It's not controlling to want your husband not to drink every night and spend a fortune on booze. It's not dramatic not to get into a car with a baby, with a driver who has drunk an unknown quantity of alcohol.

I'd tell the drunken twat to fuck off.

Even if he isn’t over the limit (and I think he would be) I wouldn’t get in a car with anyone who has had a drop of alcohol personally. Certainly don’t put your baby in the car with him.
good luck with driving, you will be glad you learned 💕

Drink driving in Ireland

If he's in Ireland and drinking and driving he could face a fine and a 3 month ban. You're not a nag or wrong when you refuse to get in the car with him.

YANBU.

His priority is clearly drinking. I think he has a problem. By extension, you do too.

Agree

2 pints for a man would usually be under the limit.

You have a bit of learned helplessness here to address.

Why can't you google the limit?
Why is No not simple the answer?
Why are you accepting someone woth an alcohol habit that negatively affects your life, who comes home and starts rows, to be in your life?

I struggle to believe the relationship is otherwise perfect.

FYI, most women aren't controlling, we are conditioned to accept mems shitty behaviour for fear of being called controlling by dickhead men. Not wanting to be in a car with a man who, regardless of legal limit, has impaired judgement, is not controlling.

Once you tell him 2 pints is over the limit he will tell you he only has 1 now.

He has no interest in changing.

Two pints might be over the limit, it might not. There are too many variables to be sure. The OP and partner have no way of knowing.

Like the speed limit, it’s a limit not a target, and zero is safest.

Two pints for a adult man, which presumably has been consumed over an hour or so, would normally be fine but I wouldn't be impressed that he is happy to take the risk when he doesn't know for sure. My OH will have 1 pint max if he is driving; which is normally consumed at the beginning of the evening and then he is driving several hours later. He wouldn't drink 2 pints in succession and drive.

I believe 2 pints would be over the limit, does depend over what time scale, Google it. Many countries have nil alcohol driving which I think means any alcohol can have a negative effect on someone’s ability to drive safely. He’s only fooling himself, likely to have Drunk Driving offender if he’s breathalysed .

Two pints may be within the “legal limits” depending on his size, what he’s eaten that day etc.

But if he ends up killing someone (or himself) because his reaction times are slowed by alcohol, that doesn’t really help does it 🤷‍♀️

He shouldn’t be drinking and driving.

It really depends on the person if 2 pints pushes them out of legal or not. Body fat etc but in my head, no alcohol is the only acceptable thing for driving a car. I won't even drive with a slight hangover. So I don't blame you OP.

You can buy home breathalysers though if you want to prove a point.

https://morning-after.org.uk/drink-drive-calculator/

This calculator says to wait 6 hours after drinking two pints of 4% beer/lager (eg Foster’s).

My guess is that if you’re going out in the evening and he’s drinking after work then there hasn’t been 6 hours for it to be metabolised.

YANBU. And you’re right to stop your baby travelling in the car too. Sadly, this would mean I couldn’t leave my DC in his care in the evening because I couldn’t trust him not to drive.