I’m a jealous person

[jealy]

I know Im being ridiculous please knock sense into me. Im jealous that my sister might get pregnant. Her baby will be newer and more exciting than my baby. She’s just finished her PhD. I also have a PhD but now she’s also gone and got one. I have thoughts like ‘how dare she’. I wish I could just be lighter and less like this.

Im so jealous and insecure. What can I do about it? What are your experiences of this?

Yeah if you work in academia, particularly certain subjects, you’ll know that a scarcity mindset can be very appropriate to the actual situation…!

I think a lot of us unknowingly base our self worth on achievements and ideas of others viewing us positively based on our achievements. And academia reflects this. So it might be helpful to think about how you can reframe your self worth and identity (easier said than done).

I think it’s great that you recognise this in yourself and don’t like it.

I personally don’t really get jealous.
I may envy a celebs body or wish I was rich but I’m lucky I don’t have these feelings.

For me, if my loved one achieved something I would be really happy for them.
Like their happiness also makes me happy.

My sister does get a bit jealous of me and maybe that’s because before I came along she was an only child or something I don’t know.

As it’s your sister then there are obviously some issues from childhood, perhaps you feel the need to compete with her for your parents attention or something.

I think it’s well worth having some therapy to try and work through why you feel these things and how to overcome them.

If you can’t afford actual therapy then talking it through with ChatGPT can help too.

This made me so sad for you. You are behaving well on the outside so the only person the jealousy is hurting is you. You could get so much pleasure and genuine joy from the success of people close to you.

Have you asked yourself in a journal, or on a long, solitary walk, why you make it so unpleasant for yourself and give yourself such a harsh time when good things happen to others? Really answer the question, with self-compassion and a focus on reducing your own discomfort.

Considering that this irrational jealousy is also occurring with coworkers as well as your sister, I think you need therapy.

Simples- have another baby!