Screaming autistic toddler

[Mamabear0202]

My 2 YO screams, all the time. It’s like an “AAAHHHH”. He screams when he’s happy, sad, indifferent, excited, tired, going to bed, eating food, walking, sitting, literally any thing he does he will scream.

He is, quite obviously to me, on the spectrum. He walks on his tip toes, speech delay (can’t communicate what’s wrong, doesn’t speak), just makes noises. He has sensory issues. Doesn’t respond to his name. Doesn’t gesture, point etc. repetitively flaps his hands. The list is endless but he’s been refused to be diagnosed (twice) due to age.

Anyway, my point being, what can I do? Why is he screaming? What can I do to HELP him? All I want is to help understand why he’s over stimulated and how I can help the situation.

Do I tell him to stop screaming? Allow the screaming? AIBU? I try and distract him when he does it but it doesn’t work.

Looking for some advice, please. I just want to help support my little boy as much as I can. I’m sure his brain must be a little over whelmed.

I don't know what the questions is to answer yabu or yanbu!

Don't tell him to stop screaming. It won't help.

Try reducing his sensory input. A dark, quiet room for example. Or a weighted blanket. Check his clothes to get rid of things like labels. See if the textures are too much for him, turn socks inside out or get seemless ones, etc.

Check whether you can access the early years team and ask for advice.

My oldest had his diagnosis at 2 and a half so your son should at least be being assessed or on a waiting list.

Contact the nas for their advice.

Also, trying to distract him is simply adding to his sensory overwhelm. You need to reduce it.

The screaming is communication.

my youngest is nonverbal and was a screamer. She was only screaming because she wanted to communicate something to us and that’s how she could at the time.
Till we gave her a means to communicate. PECS, Makaton. We even downloaded Twinkl symbols and created our own little device so she could click on pictures that said the words of what she wanted.

The SN boards will have more expertise.

Worth looking at this too: www.locala.org.uk/services/sensory-occupational-therapy-service/information-for-schools/kirklees-sensory-toolkit

I know this isn't what you asked but is DC in childcare? A referral from his childcare setting should help push for an assessment.

I would set up your routine and environment as if he had autism: calm, uncluttered home, unhurried days, avoid crowded places, choose soft clothes. My autistic son has always hated the traditional kids' activities, such as soft play, farms, busy parks, singing groups etc. He likes to be in nature, away from people, but not for too long so he can frequently come home and regulate in a cool, calm room.

My son would meltdown when it was all too much but he couldn't communicate that to me.

You sort of learn to pre-empt their needs. My son was soooo much happier when we sent more time at home and saw fewer people. He needed very low expectations of what he could cope with, so we adjusted life accordingly (as best as we could with other children etc)

If he is non verbal it’s worth looking at other methods of communication.

baby signing is based on Makaton (which in turn is a cut down version of British sign language).

look into signing classes. Can you get speech therapy support? They will be able to advise on makaton and also on other methods of communication such as PECS.

is he in nursery? If he is still non verbal at 2, see if you can push nursery to get the ball rolling for an ECHP- which you will need. You will probably also qualify for DLA- which massively helped. My daughter was/ still is non verbal and 2 was awful, as she had no communication at all- her behaviour gradually got worse with frustration. She refused to learn makaton. We taught her PECS and everything got easier for her. I had to teach her PECS myself- and make all the equipment for it. It was a slow, tedious process, but opened her world. She has an AAC device now which is much easier to navigate. Don’t ignore the screaming, it’s an attempt to communicate with you.
Be prepared to be a pushy parent to get what you want.

AIBU to let him scream? If that’s when he needs to do? Or should I stop him?

No, I’ve been told this by the HV and GP. I am in the process of getting him into a nursery setting for his benefit, or to at least try. It has been on my mind. But thank you for the heads up

You should work on getting the screaming down by giving him alternative ways to communicate.

simple signs for “drink” “food” “nappy” cover most things a 2 year old wants. You can go from there.

Am I doing it all wrong then? He’s a very active boy and has tons of energy so im always doing something, taking him to the park, feed the ducks, swings, play groups ryhme time soft play. Am
i doing it all wrong should I be giving him a quite time? Is that what he’s trying to tell me would you think?

Thanks so much for your suggestions I will look into this. I have been referred to a speech and language person but they didn’t do much at all, and all suggestions were things implement. Will look at what you’ve recommended.

The problem is all autistic people are different. Mine definitely needs to go out and do things, others are happier pottering about. I know you said he always screams - but are there places times where it is worse?

Also - has he had a hearing test? And would you consider flare or loop earplugs for yourself?

I also had a non verbal screaming autistic toddler and the thing is you can't stop it even if you wanted to.

Think of it similarly to tourettes, it's like a tic.

It's also his only way of vocally communicating even if to you or others, it's meaningless.

If everytime we spoke someone tried to stop us speaking we would find that really distressing.

Has he been offered any SALT?

DS was diagnosed aged 3 after an 11 month process. They couldn't start the process until SALT had been involved and also until they'd seen him in different settings ie. Nursery.

We didn't particularly find the first round of speech therapy helpful but post-diagnosis we were offered another round and it really helped.

The screaming could well be communication but it could just be a vocal stim i.e. he is getting some enjoyment or regulation from doing it.

I think you may need to get pushy about going on the waiting list for an assessment. Ask if you can have a referral to the Early Years SEND Inclusion team in your area or the equivalent - ours were brilliant. He doesn't need a diagnosis to get support from them. I would also be asking for a referral to an SEN nursery ideally one specialised in speech and language, and they will hopefully then assist with getting an EHCP sorted out for him too.

What we found was that once we were engaged with the Early Years SEND team it opened doors we didn't know existed - they helped us apply for DLA, they referred us on to OT and SLT, they had sleep clinics and food clinics and all sorts.

Who do you have involved?
My severely autistic teen was diagnosed at three ,at two he was under Portage,SALT,paediatrician ,etc,
Two.is very young and he may gain speech but SALT can help.with different forms of communication for him.

@Mamabear0202

That all sounds very difficult for you and him of course.
My son has ASD, had huge amounts of energy which just had to be burnt off. We walked a lot, swimming is really good as is swimming, a trampoline if you have room for one would be a good investment. There are trampettes for indoors.
People often assume that sensory issues mean a child is over stimulated. However the opposite can also be true - my son was definitely under stimulated, hence the need for swinging and bouncing. When he was older tennis was great because he could bash hell out of a ball.

That's not to say he then went to bed with disco lights, there is also a place for calm. Basically I wore him out during the day, calm time with the TV, dinner, bath, bed and story.

There is a really good book called Raising the Sensory Smart Child with useful checklist so you can work out where your son is with regard to over/under stimulation.
I agree with others that the screaming is communication so I would prioritise finding a way to communicate

Try not to think you are doing things wrong, you need to find what works for your child.

It's a balance and you need to learn what works for your child.

DS loved playgrounds, but he was very sensory seeking generally so liked going on the swings and the see saw. He loved toddler groups as well, but would run laps of the hall during any quiet sit down time. He never stopped moving, it was exhausting!

@Mamabear0202

I'd just like to add that I adopted my son when he was nearly 8. He came into care at 4 and I understand at that point he was non verbal and had some extreme behaviours. His first word was helicopter when he was 5. He is now at university.
Of course I don't know what the future holds for you, my point is that things can change and improve.
Somethings stay the same, at 21 my son understands the benefits of keeping active in keeping himself regulated. He just channels it differently - plays football, lifts weights and cycles, still walks a lot. His first jobs were quite physical - paper boy, grocers shop. Works at Tesco now- again very active job. Was is beavers, scouts etc, very outdoorsy, loves roller coasters
So he is still what we would call sensory seeking but it's just built into his life

My child did this, we went to SALT which helped and also provided evidence for the autism assessment

You can still have an active boy who gets over stimulated.
Have a wee look at the Bradford scale to get a sense of his profile - is he hyper sensitive or hypo sensitive. That's is, is he super sensitive to aspects of his environment or under sensitive understanding this can help you to help regulate them .He is very young though , so might just be things to bear in mind as he grows and you build a profile.

https://bso.bradford.gov.uk/userfiles/file/Andrew/SCIL%20Early%20Years/A%20Sensory%20Profile%20-%20Early%20Years(1).pdf

Hold him firmly but comfy.. rock him/ stroke him.
Make sure his clothes aren't hurting / annoying him.. seams / labels/ buttons/ zips/.
He might need to learn makaton or signing.
You are his comfort.. he will look to you for his pent up aggression / frustration etc.
My eldest Grandson was diagnosed age 4.
He's 20 now.
Other three followed suit at same age.
Good luck