Screaming autistic toddler

[Mamabear0202]

My 2 YO screams, all the time. It’s like an “AAAHHHH”. He screams when he’s happy, sad, indifferent, excited, tired, going to bed, eating food, walking, sitting, literally any thing he does he will scream.

He is, quite obviously to me, on the spectrum. He walks on his tip toes, speech delay (can’t communicate what’s wrong, doesn’t speak), just makes noises. He has sensory issues. Doesn’t respond to his name. Doesn’t gesture, point etc. repetitively flaps his hands. The list is endless but he’s been refused to be diagnosed (twice) due to age.

Anyway, my point being, what can I do? Why is he screaming? What can I do to HELP him? All I want is to help understand why he’s over stimulated and how I can help the situation.

Do I tell him to stop screaming? Allow the screaming? AIBU? I try and distract him when he does it but it doesn’t work.

Looking for some advice, please. I just want to help support my little boy as much as I can. I’m sure his brain must be a little over whelmed.

Try calling a health visitor and ask for a two year developmental check. That is what got the ball rolling for us. You fill in the questionnaire and that would set off alarm bells if they are not meeting milestones. Also ask nursery (if they go) to contact them. Portage might be good too. It is a long wait for an assessment. It took us a year, so I would just throw as much at services as you can until you get taken seriously.

You can have a mixed sensory profile. My son is super active and hyposensitive, but has days when he is overwhelmed too. He uses movement to regulate but also needs quiet time on his own. Sensory chews can help with screaming, but not all the time in my son's case. He loves a scream. Get ear defenders - for you.

Could be vocal stims which are a form of self regulation.

Hi, my son is a teen now but was diagnosed as autistic, ADHD and learning difficulties when he was 3-4 yrs old. I just wanted to post to reassure you that you're not doing anything wrong! Having a child with additional needs is a journey. At the beginning - which is where you are at right now - you're in a phase of learning about your child, learning about autism, trialing different approaches, seeing what helps and what to avoid... and this all takes time - a lot of time. Sometimes we try stuff and it's a win, and sometimes it doesn't work - and that is absolutely fine - it is part of the journey.

Please don't be hard on yourself - figuring out how to meet a child's needs when they can't easily communicate with you is really hard. There are lots of good suggestions in the posts above, some might work for you/your child, and some might not. Sensory needs are very specific to each child and it will take a while to figure out what your child needs:

• children can be 'sensory seekers' with some of their senses, for example my son craves visual stimulus in the form of bright lights and moving lights (think bubble lamps, lava lamps, disco balls etc), and he also loves physical pressure from stuff like trampolining and swimming and strong hugs (!) - all of which provide deep proprioceptive sensory input
• but at the same time they might want less input with other senses, for example my son hates noise, loud music, loud engines etc - he wears ear defenders to the cinema. He also hates light pressure on his skin - preferring clothes that almost hug him.

Try lots of different things and look to see how your son reacts each time. All the examples here and in the posts above are just examples - your son might react differently and that is fine. Keep a notepad handy so you can start to build a picture. This will really help when it comes to applying for assessments/support etc - everything. It is really hard to remember all the details when you're in the thick of it, so jotting down your thoughts each day will help you.

Take one day at a time, one challenge at a time, and only do what you feel up to doing. Importantly, look after yourself - honestly the best thing for your son is to have a happy mummy - as you are they lead that he will follow in his own time. I hope this helps, wishing you all the best xxx

I work with children with ASD and honestly some of them just scream. If he seems happy enough I wouldn't stress about it. If he seems agitated I would see it as communication of a problem and try to find solutions. Just try to keep his environment as calm as possible.

What a set of lovely, helpful, compassionate responses! I also have a severely autistic son in mid-teens, who also has LDs, but honestly I can't really add anything here that hasn't already been said. I do think it'll help a great deal if you can intervene this early with PECS/Makaton, though don't expect your son to use these systems mid-meltdown, he's unlikely to be able to communicate at all. But with any luck, a communication system that he can use might head off a meltdown before it gets going. That said, I'd agree with PPs who suggested his screaming is stimming, and a means of self-regulation.

Thank you all so much for your helpful responses.
the OP who said get ear defenders (for myself) made me laugh - my Apple Watch constantly says - you’re in a loud environment over 90 decibels, this may cause hearing loss - that’s usually when my LO is next to me screaming down my ear 🤣 so I might need to invest.

I could have typed this out for my own son. He’s exactly like this.

loves loves loves bouncing, non stop. So I brought him a big outdoor trampoline which he loves. Also loves textured things to touch. Absolutely HATES loud noises, terrified, any time a plane goes by he runs inside and cries.

i will make a list that would be helpful. I might also look into a lava lamp I think my LO would like that too. Thank you.