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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sad that I was catfished?

51 replies

DatedOut · 04/05/2025 21:54

I went on a date today. I was pretty excited, he seemed nice from the photos. Nothing overly special but I thought that he was handsome and liked the way he communicated.

I pitched up at the date and I was immediately put off. The photos he used are 3-4 years old. It’s him, but in the last couple of days he gained a good amount of weigh, he started balding and just generally looked older.

I felt a bit misled. I got ready and made effort to look nice. My photos are very much like me, unedited, and no less than 10 months old. I asked him if he thought that I looked like my photos and he said in better in person than on the pictures.

we had an OK date. He was nice but I just couldn’t feel comfortable as I felt he knew what he was doing with his photos

I came back home and can’t help but feeling sad. I wouldn’t have minded if we didn’t get on. I’ve been on dates where I didn’t click with others and it was all good. We tried, n o spark, wishing good luck and move on. But with this one… I don’t know. I feel sad. Am I ever going to meet anyone? ☹️

OP posts:
Greenfields20 · 05/05/2025 21:51

DatedOut · 05/05/2025 10:15

@HornyHornersPinkyWinky thank you! I’m pretty used to harsh replies on Mumsnet and these were expected when I posted the thread.

I had a sleep on it. Obviously if the guy contacts me it’s going to be a’lovely to meet you but don’t see this going anywhere’
I realise after having a good nights sleep that I am actually serious about wanting to meet someone. I was looking forward to good conversation, couple of drinks and the genuine excitement of getting to know someone, and it was a bit upsetting when this all shattered by walking to the bar and realising that he used old photos.

I am certain that he knew what he was doing. And it’s fine but I was genuinely disheartened about it. I don’t like to waste anyone’s time. Anyhow, onwards and upwards…

Do you think, if he asks why you dont want to meet up again, that you could be honest with him about how different he looked from his photos and that you felt mislead? Just to draw his attention to the fact he isnt 'getting away with it' like he is maybe hoping. Then maybe he might get more up to date photos and save others being disappointed.

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