Desperation baby will not be put down

[Xxx122]

Mums I am defeated! My little boy has turned 6 months old. I could bore you with details but severe colic as a baby, still medicated with Lansoprazole for reflux. Tried amino acid formula caused a feeding aversion.

Anyway, things have obviously improved from the colic stage. But as soon as this boy is put down and not being held he cries and cries. When being held the majority of the time he is happy!

Im at a loss as i have a 2 year old. I cannot physically hold him all the time and im getting so overstimulated!

His naps are terrible throughout the day ranging from 15-40 minutes. Meaning he is overtired most of the time, wont be soothed back to sleep.

I have tried today to just put him on his play mat and leave him. He cries and then will stop for a few moments at most.

If he is down the only way he won’t cry, is if I'm actively engaging which obviously isn’t possible all of the time.

We have been referred to Peads but of course theres a 10 month wait list. GPs just think im bonkers as he smiles at them when i take him. HV is no help.

This sounds absolutely awful but sometimes, I find myself regretting having a second child!

You sound at the end of your tether. Unsurprisingly. Is there anyone else who can come round to hold him so you can have a break? Grandparents, siblings, Home Start volunteer? At this age I used to go to a toddler group every weekday which was full of people who liked holding babies!

Would half a day in nursery/with a childminder each week be practical? Really wish I’d done this!

Doee he have a dummy? Sling? Is he close to sitting?

Just saw the suggestion of half a day in childcare, this is not nearly enough to settle most children especially one who is high needs. 2 full days minimum. (I'm a cm)

Watching as my 2 month old is the same

Both of my girls were also velcro babies. With my second, using a baby carrier / sling was an absolute lifesaver. My daughter was happy in there (usually asleep!), and I had my hands free to look after my older daughter (and occasionally clean!). I used a Tula Free to Grow which I found really comfy and easy to use. They aren't cheap so I hired one for a month first from a sling library to test it out. If that would work for you too, just google 'sling library + your town', you should find one nearby. The guy that runs ours showed me loads of different ones, showed me how to adjust it properly, etc. It was great. If there isn't one near you, try the Babywearing UK Facebook group for advice / to find online sling consultants with postal libraries. Best of luck OP xx

Have you looked at food intolerances? I assume so with the amino acid formula - are there no other alternatives?

At 6 months it is possible he could be teething, is he chewing on everything and drooling a lot?

He is actually due to start with a cm in July when i return back to work. Maybe i could consider bringing it forward!

We have really limited support otherwise! My partner works away 2 weeks at a time

He has a dummy but it won’t soothe him if hes put down. Unfortunately not close to sitting or rolling due to the limited floor time.

We’re having to do exercises with him to try and strengthen and encourage.

He will be starting with a cm in July when i return to work for three days per week

Great Thank you! The one I have gives me a back ache after about 10 minutes which is why I dont utilise it!

Some symptoms improved on amino acid, such as bowel movements and it did ease colic slightly. This was when he was really small, we then did the formula challenge and thought he had passed.

Constipation started again with green poops ect, tried to reintroduce amino acid but he literally stopped eating and would scream.

Trouble is the allergy formulas are so thin which is annoying as most babies suffer hand in hand with reflux. Settled on a comfort milk for now.

He is definitely teething, but the crying when put down isn’t new behaviour if that makes sense?

Have you started weaning?

Had exactly the same, velcro baby and livley 2 year old. For me the sling was th answer.

I was in hospital with dc and saw several of these used for babies on the ward

https://www.mamasandpapas.com/products/joie-serina-2-in-1-portrait-59181j701?utm_term=48909300957521&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=uk+-+shopping+-+equipment+-+pmax+-+priority&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADsD1FbJfEA2TQDLv4xX-HcemKRJh&gclid=Cj0KCQjwoNzABhDbARIsALfY8VPjJ7Tv--_INO4GPnHFbZGJBKa4R5gOQmWjA_oEseb7kVAAjGLUPKcaAj8BEALw_wcB

Yes, purees only as he isn’t physically ready

My oldest absolutely loved the swing. My boy however won’t entertain it! Thank you for the suggestion though!

Once he's on more solids it might be easier to follow an allergy diet without it being so restrictive for him (the amino formulas are rank, I don't blame him for refusing it!) so it might be worth asking your GP if you can be referred to an allergy specialist again if possible.

I think it can be normal for babies to prefer to be held but I would also say that IME when they are like that ALL the time, it is usually a sign of discomfort.

What about if you were to sit him in a high chair where he can still see what's going on but isn't lying down? Or put Ms Rachel on the tv? I know people are dead set against screens but I used to have to put on baby Einstein for my DD to get stuff done sometimes (it's magical stuff - classical music & toys) Start off with him sitting/lying somewhere with you beside him then you can gradually pop in & out. It's not practical to carry him around all the time & realistically when he goes to a CM they won't be able to do it either so you're helping him to adjust before he goes there anyway.

I have literally tried everything high chair, bumbo, sit me up, play mat, piano mat the list goes on Lol. Ms Rachel does win me about 5 minutes though so little wins!

Im so worried about him starting with my childminder as i don’t know how he will cope! She’s amazing but obviously can’t hold him all the time

Ergo baby carrier? Ds2 was huge with reflux and it helped so much being able to carry him on my back.

we had this with our child, it might be worth taking him to a cranial osteopath and someone who does vega testing, seeing both of these specialist sorted or child out in 2 days. The other thing we tried was colic calm which helped with lying him down. Wishing you the best of luck x

Ah that's hard. Have you tried baby Einstein? You can get it on YouTube & its like baby hypnosis I don't know why but it really engages them. And says its good for development which always made me feel better. You might find once he's on solids and a bit more mobile he will be happier. My own DD was a bit miserable until she could crawl then she was the best baby in the world. She also settled straight away for her childminder despite not ever wanting to be away from me. Do you have any mum friends who could come round for coffee & do some of the holding for you? I love to hold a baby now that mine are all grown up!

Get yourself to your local sling library! You should be able to wear a six month old in a sling comfortably for hours, a trained sling consultant can troubleshooting your sling with you (sometimes minor adjustments can make a big difference) and you can try on lots of other types of slings as well.

As a side note, "tummy time" should more accurately be called " time not spent flat in their back". The purpose is to engage their core muscles which will be happening if you are holding them because they will be supporting their head and moving their arms and legs and back etc, so don't worry about that.

Thank you, we were referred to the dietitic team but they won’t refer on to allergist as no immediate threatening symptoms. I have exhausted the health care system its so sad, nobody wants to help!

I agree with PP that if he's so unsettled at this age that he's likely to be in discomfort and that won't be helping with the crap naps and overtiredness.

Have you tried the extensively hydrolysed formulas again rather than the amino acid ones? Not as ideal but probably better than a comfort milk one. I don't think they're as thin as not as broken down either. Nutramigen seems to be a lot less rank than I remember, my son has been on it this past year and it smelled much better than in 2020 when my daughter was on it.

Also I found both my milk allergy kids were much better with just one dose of gripe water after their bedtime bottle, I know it's supposed to be placebo but anecdotally it really helped mine and someone else I recommended it to. Someone relatively cheap and easy to try.

I recommend keeping a food diary for weaning as well and monitoring for worsening symptoms, as his belly is likely to be more unsettled and reactive if not having the right formula. A weird one but both my kids can't tolerate parsnip at all so rules out a lot of pouches which use it to sweeten the savoury ones.

Once he's more settled then something like gradual retreat might help with naps and sleep in general.

I hope you get some improvements soon 🤞🏻

With him having reflux have you tried not laying him flat when you lay him down?

Thank you. The dietetic team did give me some new formula to try Similac Arise or something.

I havent yet tried it due to the nightmares we have had with previous ones. But I think i need to push it and try again. I am convinced something is bothering him as he wants to be such a happy boy!

That is really useful regarding weaning, the majority of the time he keeps food down well. However there have been a few occasions were he has been sick, so potentially not agreeing with him. I haven’t been monitoring it so I will start.

Thanks again!