to think that when we go to visit friends on a planned visit for an hour they could put their dog in another room as dd is terrified?

[peacelily]

Yes I know it's their dog and their house but dd20m has just developed a total fear of dogs. When one comes too near she trembles like a leaf and makes this yowling noise not like her usual cry.

I'm trying to desensitze her with a toddler version of graduated exposure ie down to the park to look at the dogs then a bit closer etc. etc.

At friends house their dog jumps all over us and she's petrified. Also this is going to confirm rather than disconfirm her anxiety.

Is it unresonable to ask them to put the dog in another room/the garden for an hour? Or is it me who's being unfair?

i have a dog and always put him in another room when people visit as he gets very excited and i dont think its fair on visitors to put up with that,people come before any animal and if the dog gets face on so what! they will get over it.

Next time you get invited, just explain you can't come over because dd is frightened of dogs at the moment and see what she says. Would be surprised if she didn't come up with a solution. Dogs shouldn't be jumping all over people anyway. Very annoying.

My sister is like this with her dog ,it's so big and jumpy even I am terrified of it but she wont lock it away ,but them moans when noone comes up .

Last time I went up I was drinking a glass of wine and it jumped up and knocked it all in my face !!!! Funnily enough though the only person that can get it to obey orders is my 6 yr old dd .

It is hard my pet hate is when dog owners say "oh he wont hurt you he's just saying hello" WTF !

If I were you I would not visit anymore until your dd is over her fear .

is the dog like it all the time or does it calm down after a while?

It's unreasonable to let a dog bother visitors whether they like the dog or not. My dog sheds hair all over us when he jumps up on us, so when we've visitors I assume they don't want to leave the house covered in dog hairs and keep him separate unless they want to see him.

I usually block off the doorway with his crate, so he can't get in, but can still see us.

We think he's lovely but have to accept that not everyone likes being licked and shed on when they visit.

To the OP: It's entirely reasonable to ask the owner to put the dog somewhere else. I usually put my dog right out of the way when we have a visitor round, unless the visitor is a big buddy of the dog.

It sounds like the dog has separation problems and would probably create havoc if left alone in another room. I'm sure that's a problem for the owner and she probably feels stressed by it.

A friend of DS2 who dislikes dogs doesn't like my dog to be around at all when he is in our house (which is fine) but actually enjoys the dog when we go for walks together, so perhaps somewhere outside is a better place for your dc to get used to this bouncey dog.

My friend's dd was petrified of our dog. Everytime she came over, I did put the dog away, but my friend would always (very gently) get her daughter to give the dog a pat.
Eventually she was ok with the dog.

Now they have their own and her daughter is not scared at all!!

For the record

Yes, children come above dogs, but that does not mean that the fear should be reinforced, especially with something like dogs (as they are everywhere)
Yes, make sure the kids are safe and be considerate, but I would not cultivate the fear by never letting the child into contact with any dog.

BTW, I was attacked by a german shepard when I was a child, so I was petrified of big dogs for a long time. I know what its like to be scared.