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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden fence and NDN

37 replies

GabbyGreenfingers · 04/05/2025 10:43

I don’t know my NDN other than to say hello in passing. My other neighbours have said that she is grumpy and complains a lot about things in the street to them, bins, workmen etc. I haven’t experienced this as I have only lived here 1 year, go out to work every day and not had the funds to do any work on the house yet.

She’s approached me to complain about a hole in my fence, between our gardens. She said it’s unsightly and that she wants me to pay to replace the whole fence!
The hole is in one section that I can’t really see it from my side as I have a lovely camellia bush there. I have tried to repair it from my side but obviously it doesn’t look pretty.
I don’t want bad blood with a neighbour especially as I’m quite new to the area, but I really don’t think I should replace the whole fence if I don’t want / need to. My gut says she’s a CF trying to get a brand new fence for free! But I’m not sure where I stand legally as it is my fence that’s broken.

To add, I hear her granddaughter in her garden in the good weather kicking a football and regularly hear it bang on the fence. Maybe that’s why it’s broken?!

OP posts:
LordEmsworth · 04/05/2025 10:46

Your fence, your choice. It can be an absolute eyesore if you choose. If she has a problem, she can put a fence up her side. There's no requirement for you to have a fence at all...

ThirdStorm · 04/05/2025 11:01

Hard to judge without a diagram/photo of offending hole!

Bunnyisputbackinthebox · 04/05/2025 11:02

Block of wood. Handful of nails..
Jon done. Refuse to get into any discussions whatsoever..

ItGhoul · 04/05/2025 11:05

ThirdStorm · 04/05/2025 11:01

Hard to judge without a diagram/photo of offending hole!

The appearance is irrelevant if the fence belongs to the OP. If it’s the OP’s boundary, she isn’t obliged to have any fence at all, let alone make it look nice for her neighbours.

minnienono · 04/05/2025 11:05

Legally you don’t need a fence so it’s a simple, “ sorry I am not planning to replace the fence in the near future” id add a polite, i would appreciate the ball not being kicked against it as you are aware it’s fairly old, then as a sweetener, you are welcome to paint your side if you want.

Auroraloves · 04/05/2025 11:05

what type of fence is it? Could you replace just that panel, and tell her that her granddaughter should not be kick in the ball on your fence

SpanThatWorld · 04/05/2025 11:06

"No, I won't be doing that for a while"

Livpool · 04/05/2025 11:14

I wouldn’t be doing that

Stickytreacle · 04/05/2025 11:23

Nope, I'd leave well alone, it's even recommended to have a hole for hedgehogs to get into gardens more easily.
By asking you to replace the fence she sounds like the type of neighbour who will expect you to jump to her every whim.
I'd tell her that the fence will be remaining as it is for now, but she's welcome to put one of her own on her side if she's concerned.

Original poster
GabbyGreenfingers · 04/05/2025 14:08

Although a diagram or photo might help visualise the issue to me the hole really isn’t that visible and I can’t take a photo of her view. But I expect through her side she can just see the bottom of my bush and a bit of my flowerbed.

Thanks for all the replies. She made it seem that because it’s my fence it’s my responsibility to upkeep it.

It’s about 30cm wide and probably 50cm tall. A cat or medium dog could fit through it (we don’t have pets but for example of size!)

I have tried to fix it with wood and nails but it’s hard to reach as it’s right behind the bush so it’s awkward and uncomfortable. I also don’t think even a good fix would satisfy her as it would still look bad on her side.

My main concern is legally does she have a leg to stand on in demanding that I replace it at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
GabbyGreenfingers · 04/05/2025 14:12

I also dont want to replace the panel because a) it would cost me money and I’m saving for other things, b) I can’t really see the hole and the fence is fine otherwise just a little old and tatty (she can fix it and paint her side if she wants?!) and c) it might harm my camellia bush getting the old one out and a new one in.
But these reasons are irrelevant really if legally I don’t have to do anything about it anyway.

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 04/05/2025 14:20

If she wants a new fence she can put one up on her ground at her own expense.
I would ask her no to allow her grandaughter to kick the ball against you fence as it will damage it.
I would also be saving the bright orange netting off my satsumas to staple over the hole.. having first sewn them together with bright green nylon rope... but I am naughty like that!

Original poster
GabbyGreenfingers · 05/05/2025 17:00

Omg she just confronted me in the street outside our houses as I was coming in from the shops. She said it’s a disgrace and I have to replace the whole fence because a panel wouldn’t match and I have to pay for the lot because it’s my fence that’s broken and it’s nothing to do with her. I tried saying “I don’t need to replace it, I don’t want to etc. ” but she stormed off shouting “it’s your property!!” 🤬 She can’t take this further can she? I’ve googled and legally it’s up to me not her if it gets repaired or replaced and I’m within my rights to just leave it as it is

OP posts:
Original poster
GabbyGreenfingers · 05/05/2025 17:01

Oh and she said that foxes are coming through the hole - but we have loads of foxes where we live (countryside) and I’ve seen them jump fences and come through side gates etc so it’s not like I’m the reason for foxes.

OP posts:
Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 05/05/2025 17:05

You don't HAVE to do anything and she can't make you. She's trying to bully you for her own reasons - 'foxes' is not a reason. I think you might just have to grey rock her - either by telling her she's free to put her own fence up if the sight of yours offends her, or by saying 'I don't plan to do that just now.'

Who's she going to take her complaint to if you own your house? She'll get laughed at by just about anyone who hears that it's YOUR fence.

GetMeOutOfHere20 · 05/05/2025 17:07

Oh ignore her and she confronts you again tell her you’ll call the police on her the old fucking bat

Original poster
GabbyGreenfingers · 05/05/2025 17:08

Thank you she is making me feel like I have to do something about it even though I know deep down that I don’t have to. Honestly shaking after that encounter, I didn’t see her coming and she really yelled at me. So she’s clearly not a very nice person , the last thing I want is neighbour trouble but I think I have to stand my ground here don’t I.
She even said if she puts her own fence up I’ll still have to pay for it?!

OP posts:
MoistVonL · 05/05/2025 17:12

No, you won't have to pay for it.

It's all sound and fury signifying nothing. Let her bluster, it's not going to achieve anytihng.

WhiteCloudd · 05/05/2025 17:12

If you can’t ignore then I’d put the onus back on to her eg “If you can send me proof from a solicitor that I am legally required to replace the whole fence then I will discuss it with you.”
She’ll never be able to get that obviously so nothing you need to do.

AnotherForumUser · 05/05/2025 17:53

WhiteCloudd · 05/05/2025 17:12

If you can’t ignore then I’d put the onus back on to her eg “If you can send me proof from a solicitor that I am legally required to replace the whole fence then I will discuss it with you.”
She’ll never be able to get that obviously so nothing you need to do.

I really wouldn't try this. Solicitors can and do sometimes write letters demanding all sorts of outrageous things. A solicitor may know there's no chance of it being legally required but if the client is paying them tonwrite a letter demanding for instance a neighbour removes their rose bush because the client doesn't like the smell they are at liberty to do so. (Yes a neighbour further down the road tried exactly that to their immediate neighbours). The solicitors get money from writing a letter. Easy peasy. The client may or may not get their wishes but money is made, even if it's the type of demand that would be laughed out of court.

OP ignore your neighbour. Let her froth. If she does try to use a solicitor to intimidate you ignore it.

Hoppinggreen · 05/05/2025 17:55

GabbyGreenfingers · 05/05/2025 17:00

Omg she just confronted me in the street outside our houses as I was coming in from the shops. She said it’s a disgrace and I have to replace the whole fence because a panel wouldn’t match and I have to pay for the lot because it’s my fence that’s broken and it’s nothing to do with her. I tried saying “I don’t need to replace it, I don’t want to etc. ” but she stormed off shouting “it’s your property!!” 🤬 She can’t take this further can she? I’ve googled and legally it’s up to me not her if it gets repaired or replaced and I’m within my rights to just leave it as it is

You can take the whole thing down and not even have a fence if you want
Ignore the silly woman

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 05/05/2025 18:10

So if it's YOUR PROPERTY as she keeps yelling, why on earth does she think she has a say in what you do with it? It's like my neighbour telling me I should replace my car because the current one looks scruffy parked outside... (my neighbours would never do anything like this, because they are lovely, and posts like OPs just makes me appreciate them more).

ThatGladTiger · 05/05/2025 18:16

I appreciate the view here, but for the sake of neighbourly accord (ignoring that she seems crazy), is it not the right thing to maintain the fence you own on your side?

To get a fencer round to replace one panel is not a huge amount (appreciate everything is expensive at the moment). If my fence had a hole and foxes were getting in, my response would be to fix it. As I’d expect the other side who own their fence to upkeep their own.

Legally you don’t have to do it. It’s the same as all the posts about overgrown hedges etc. Maintain them and don’t let them cause issues for neighbours.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 05/05/2025 18:18

I have a similar issue to your neighbour in that the fence owned by my ndn has a massive whole in it that their dogs have created and regularly escape through. However, my only comment was their dogs are not friendly and they need to find a way of preventing them getting into my garden. They have patched it, it looks hideous but I have just moved the garden store thing down so I can't see it.

I can kinda see her point that the whole presents a risk for animals getting through so you probably should try to secure the hole. Maybe ask if you can have access to her side to put a wooden panel over the hole. But otherwise she can't take it further so just ignore her.

unbelieveable22 · 05/05/2025 18:23

Tell her to make the hole a little bigger and she too can enjoy your camelia bush 😉
Alternatively tell her you are not in a position to replace it yet but it is on a long of work you plan over the next 10 - 15 years.