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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Garden fence and NDN

37 replies

GabbyGreenfingers · 04/05/2025 10:43

I don’t know my NDN other than to say hello in passing. My other neighbours have said that she is grumpy and complains a lot about things in the street to them, bins, workmen etc. I haven’t experienced this as I have only lived here 1 year, go out to work every day and not had the funds to do any work on the house yet.

She’s approached me to complain about a hole in my fence, between our gardens. She said it’s unsightly and that she wants me to pay to replace the whole fence!
The hole is in one section that I can’t really see it from my side as I have a lovely camellia bush there. I have tried to repair it from my side but obviously it doesn’t look pretty.
I don’t want bad blood with a neighbour especially as I’m quite new to the area, but I really don’t think I should replace the whole fence if I don’t want / need to. My gut says she’s a CF trying to get a brand new fence for free! But I’m not sure where I stand legally as it is my fence that’s broken.

To add, I hear her granddaughter in her garden in the good weather kicking a football and regularly hear it bang on the fence. Maybe that’s why it’s broken?!

OP posts:

Ilikewinter · 05/05/2025 18:26

30cm by 50cm is quite a hole, so I can see why she wants it fixed. But as others have said she can't make you. At that size of gap though I would imagine a decent windy bit of weather and the panel will break, personally I'd just replace the panel before it gets worse.

Auroraloves · 05/05/2025 18:29

Oh what a bully. Get a ring doorbell, keep a record of all of her harassment

Zoopet · 05/05/2025 18:50

OMG I had a neighbour like this but in my case it was a mature hedge that was on my side.
She took it upon herself to rip huge holes in the hedge and then complained that my dog went through the damaged hedge.( She wanted me to put up a new fence.)
She was insane- shouting and shrieking and no I didn't put up a new fence but filled in the gaps with chicken wire.
I was glad to move!

ThejoyofNC · 05/05/2025 18:57

Honestly next time just tell her to fuck off. If she shouts again tell her you'll call the police because she's harassing you. She thinks she can intimidate you, and has done to an extent, so you need to respond with the same energy to show her she can't.

Callipygion · 05/05/2025 19:04

Could you go to B&Q and see if you can get an off cut a bit bigger than that size and shove it behind your bush to block it off. That’s as far as I’d go if it were my fence.

AlertCat · 05/05/2025 19:18

GabbyGreenfingers · 05/05/2025 17:08

Thank you she is making me feel like I have to do something about it even though I know deep down that I don’t have to. Honestly shaking after that encounter, I didn’t see her coming and she really yelled at me. So she’s clearly not a very nice person , the last thing I want is neighbour trouble but I think I have to stand my ground here don’t I.
She even said if she puts her own fence up I’ll still have to pay for it?!

Edited

She is chatting bollocks. If it’s your fence, you can choose how to mark the boundary. You have no responsibility to pay for anything she does in her garden and she can’t force you to do anything in yours.

nomas · 05/05/2025 19:21

Nail in a plank of wood on your side.

YANBU tho, She can’t make you do shit.

BriocheForBreakfast · 05/05/2025 19:26

Is it definitely your fence? Have you checked the deeds/Land Registry? We thought our neighbour was being reasonable wanting to split the cost of our fence. Turned out it’s theirs. We’d all assumed it was ours. 😂 TBH we didn’t mind too much as it meant we decided between us what kind of fence we were getting

iseethembloom · 05/05/2025 19:30

Can you replace one panel of the fence?

LumpyandBumps · 05/05/2025 19:37

I thank my lucky stars for my current neighbours. We argued in a friendly way as both of us tried to pay for our replacement fence.
Years ago as a young first time buyer the elderly neighbours made increasingly ridiculous demands which initially we accommodated to keep things friendly.
I don’t have many positive memories of my EXH, but him finally telling them to Fuck Off is one of them. They never really bothered us again after that.

Cherrysoup · 05/05/2025 19:37

ThatGladTiger · 05/05/2025 18:16

I appreciate the view here, but for the sake of neighbourly accord (ignoring that she seems crazy), is it not the right thing to maintain the fence you own on your side?

To get a fencer round to replace one panel is not a huge amount (appreciate everything is expensive at the moment). If my fence had a hole and foxes were getting in, my response would be to fix it. As I’d expect the other side who own their fence to upkeep their own.

Legally you don’t have to do it. It’s the same as all the posts about overgrown hedges etc. Maintain them and don’t let them cause issues for neighbours.

Our local fox likes to sunbathe on the shed, which is taller than the fence between us and the next door neighbour. A hole in the fence being repaired will not stop it.

Legally, you do not, as a pp said, have to even have a fence. Ignore her or post a print out of the law through her letterbox, along with a note re her granddaughter kicking her ball against it. Laugh very loudly when she tries to charge you for her new fence.

Youbutterbelieve · 05/05/2025 20:17

Assuming you are in England (unsure about the rules in Wales and Scotland) she can't make you do anything.

Your choices:

Leave as is.
Replace.
Remove completely (the legal responsibility is to maintain the BOUNDARY which is invisible)

Her choices:

Put up with it
Pay to have a fence placed on her side of the boundary
Agree with you that she can replace the fence at her cost
Employ a solicitor who will charge her to tell her the above and charge her more to write letters.

Be clear on your legal rights and responsibilities and if needed write a cease and desist.

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