To say the majority of us don’t enjoy hen weekends

[ShrunkInTheWashAgain]

It’s the forced fun, the excessive costs
bring back a simple night out on the town

or do you actually enjoy it ?

I’m not a big fan of attending hen dos myself but I like the fact people do them. During Covid London got so quiet and dead, so I was really pleased when the hen dos started coming back. It was so good to see people having fun again.

I love my friends, and I enjoy spending time with them. I also enjoy going to their weddings. That doesn't mean I want to spend 3 nights in an Airbnb with their sisters, cousins, Aunties and random work colleagues, going out in matching outfits and playing Prosecco pong and making a wedding dress out of toilet paper.

I’ve never been on one of those ones where you see twenty women wearing ON IT TILL WE VOMIT — LISA’S HEN DO t shirts and clutching bottles of Prosecco at 3am, looking like the cohorts of the damned, but always enjoyed the low-key ones I did go on, which just involved dinner, or a picnic in the Pennines, or messing about in boats on the Avon.

If you spend a bit of time on MN you swiftly realise how many people seem to hate their friends.

I've enjoyed every hen do I've been to but then none of my friends have done any of the obnoxious cliched stuff (and I've been to more "hag" - hen/stag combinations - dos than hens on account of no one I know socialising in strictly gender-segregated groups).

I really hope ON IT TILL WE VOMIT was an actual hen do slogan you saw! If not someone should get on with selling those T-shirts, they'd make a killing.

Usually (except on Mumsnet) people who are friends like similar things.

My friends hen weekends have involved nothing like you describe. Just weekends away with good food, bit of sightseeing, a few drinks. Because that's what we like doing as a group. Oh and no aunties/cousins, who wants that?!

The very idea of “hens” and “showers” makes me cringe tbh but I am an introvert.

@SapporoBaby that is so crap, you deserved better! 😟

Same here. I love celebrating with my friends, have enjoyed every hen do I’ve been on and counting down the days to the next one! And I’m 38 😂

It’s a good while since I went on one, but I actually like my friends so enjoyed a weekend away with them.

I have enjoyed the hen dos I’ve been on. The problem is when the do becomes too elaborate. I’ve heard of someone having a week long do in the Dominican Republic - that’s taking the piss. Those who are young enough to enjoy it are almost certainly too poor to afford it and the older people earning more didn’t want to be away from their children for so long. And it meant taking a week’s annual leave.

I went on one donkeys years ago with a work colleague who was getting married. Pretty much everyone from work went, plus folks from her family. She hired a coach, we went off to the next big town for drinks in various pubs and a nightclub. No daft t-shirts, no games, just a good night out to celebrate a nice person.
I didn't have a hen do. By the time I was getting married they'd morphed into a day here (a fairly sedate do that your mother could go to) and then a weekend of debauchery somewhere else. Seeing them on trains and the airport had put me off the idea!

I hate the party weekend away types and decline them. The cost is usually prohibitive anyway.

For mine I did a spa weekend but basically said this is what I’d like to do and I’d love it if people can join me if it’s their thing and they can afford it and no worries if not. Twelve did. It was nice low pressure. I didn’t want people to feel obliged.

Yes, if hen weekends were just a group of friends, they’d be fine (and I do enjoy travelling with friends). Meeting people for the first time and having to immediately spend 48h with them is suboptimal.

I’ve only been to one, my step-daughter’s. It was fine as it was long ago when they were sensible. About fourteen of us went to a Chinese restaurant and then a nightclub. We met up with the groom and his stags back at their house and had a bit of a party. Then the next weekend the hens and stags went go-karting together. It was fine and I enjoyed it. It was all very civilised.

They're all part of life's great adventure, mostly great fun

I have enjoyed all the hen parties I’ve been on. I’ve got another one this year and really looking forward to it. Spending time with friends and being silly is fun! I have always had at least a few I know there as well as the bride - I can imagine being a bit exhausting if I only knew the bride! We definitely don’t spend the whole time talking wedding and babies on the ones I’ve been to

Last hen do I went on was circa 1978 when a small group met in something akin to a Toby Carvery. The one before that, around 1975, we all went to a nice country pub and tucked into a Ploughman's and some local farm cider. There were of course more boisterous affairs back then but even so, the idea of spending a fortune on a hotel, buying a special outfit and planning everything to the last detail would have been totally alien.

Absolutely this.

Been to many hen weekends (even organised a stag weekend), not a one has featured strippers, willy straws, matching outfits or any of that jazz. It’s all been good food, good music, good mates, and the occasional hot tub, horse ride or quad bike expedition.

Honestly, I think that some people organise shit hen dos and I am glad me & my friends don’t.

I was just reading there’s now a ‘pre hen’ that’s a night out before the official hen do!

I just wish it was one night of drunken fun and then home. I hate staying away from home, it's a stress unless I'm with my children as you have to arrange childcare, dog care etc.....

On MN, yes of course the majority of people hate them!
But the majority of posters seem to hate weddings, birthdays and god forbid having friends around or staying with friends for a night or two.

In real life, I am less sure.

Hen weekends can be anything from a spa weekend or an afternoon tea in a nice hotel to a beach holiday stay in a luxury resort somewhere sunny. I personally have no interest in doing a pub crawl in Bolton wearing a tutu, but I spend many weekends away in the sun with my friends when we were younger, it was fantastic.

I like parties and celebrations, life is too short, so if I can join in with friends I like, why wouldn't I enjoy them?

I voted not unreasonable but actually that last hen do I went to was a lot of fun. There was a dance lesson, drinks and dinner and you could opt in or out of any so I just did drinks (I came from a different city to attend it). I only knew the bride and it was brilliant to meet people before the wedding.

I've been to a few and not enjoyed any of them apart from the 1st night of a 2 night weekend away. I only knew 1 person but it was a right laugh. By the 2nd night we were all knackered though & I just wanted to go home. Another night away I felt really left out & wanted to go home again. I think it was (mostly) down to me getting too drunk & just not enjoying them

I’ve only been on two hen weekends- one was mine which was organised by a group of friends. We stayed in a cottage in the countryside which had a hot tub. It was a lovely chilled weekend, we had nice food, drink and some nice walks and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The other was 28 years ago, went to Blackpool with a group of friends who I went to school with and haven’t really seen since I left for university (I was 18 at the time, the hen was 22). That was bloody horrendous- I did not enjoy Blackpool at all!
All other hen do’s I’ve been on have just been nights out which were all great fun.

Indeed