Page 19 | Why can't we discuss how fat we've all become?

Nodinnernogift · 2025-05-02T15:49:29+00:00

Obesity is becoming the norm. Why aren't we allowed express concern or any views that are less than celebratory about this? I mean seriously why? If whole parts of your country were in the grip of a meth addiction we would be allowed have a discussion about it. National campaigns to stop people smoking are applauded. Look around you. Look in the mirror. We are all getting bigger and bigger. It reminds me of when people would visit the US in the 80s / 90s and come back with tales of huge people and massive portion sizes. Does nobody care? It's like the Emperors New Clothes. I don't get why it's a sacrosanct topic. Yabu - it's nobody's business Yanbu - it's fine to address this as a societal problem

2dogsandabudgie · 02/05/2025 20:57

lifeonmars100 · 02/05/2025 20:34

I've got fatter as I have got older. I was a size 10/12 in my youth I measured 34/24/34 and there was nothing out of the ordinary about that in the 70s and 80s, I would say I was pretty average. I can only recall a couple of overweight girls at my school, it really was unusual to see anyone who was very big. I think it is a multi factoral thing, the only fast food we could get was Kentucky and MacDonalds and there were only one outlet of each in the town I grew up in, there was no delivery so no way you could have a burger and fries delivered to your door. While I was not and never have been keen on exercise we did do a lot of walking. When I was pregnant I gained minimal weight and was back in my Levis when my baby was a week old, to be fair this is a family trait, all the women in my family are lucky enough to ping back into shape. So why am i fat now? I am of course much older and I admit to being greedy and lazy! But I do worry when I see young women half my age who are even bigger than me and wonder what the health impact will be for them when they are my age. I think fast food has got a lot to answer for, if I open my front door and turn left I can reach a Subway, a Dunkin Donuts and a Kentucky in 5 mins, if I turn right it takes 10 mins to reach two pizza places, an ice cream parlour, a burger bar, and several other take aways.

I don't know how people can afford takeaways though. A large cod in my local chippy is £9.00, large chips £4.50 or small cod £7.50 and small chips £3.50.

Crushed23 · 02/05/2025 20:58

Locutus2000 · 02/05/2025 20:51

Ha, I remember the dissonance rewarding myself with a tub of ice-cream for burning off 400kcal on the treadmill.

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Ugh, tell me about it. Had two beers on Wednesday because I’d done a HIIT class instead of barre (marginally more calories burned). Woke up with a bloated face. 🤦‍♀️

HeartyViper · 02/05/2025 20:58

Sofie Hagen is a good one to look up when talking about this. She’s obese but openly calls herself fat in the way that she would if she was thin. She talked about how she finds other terms uncomfortable, as if her body shape is something taboo.

i think what we lack here is the frankness of other countries and the fear of making anyone uncomfortable. I’m not fat but I am definitely heavier than I would like to be or should be, and I am working on that. Mostly o I am still here in 40 years time.

TheRoomWhereItHappened · 02/05/2025 20:59

I was thin (size 8 BMI 20) until I needed months of high dose steroids followed by daily lower doses with 10+ flare ups a year requiring higher doses. 3 years in I am now now obese. Both my consultants (who I’d wager know more than mumsnetters) have said there’s nothing I can actually do about it until I no longer need the steroids. My diet hasn’t changed and I still exercise. At one point I was eating 1000 calories a day and still gaining. This is the case for most people on steroids so if you have a solution then a lot of people will be very grateful…

Original poster

Nodinnernogift · 02/05/2025 21:00

bumblingbovine49 · 02/05/2025 20:12

You are allowed to talk about it but the reason people don't is because it is complicated and people usually resort to either 1) simplified solutions from a position of superiority or 2) exclamations of disgust, We have already had that within the first few posts. The actual words ' they disgust me'. That is why people don't want to talk about it.

I am fat, very fat - Size 22/24 fat. I have been fat pretty much all my life (with periods of weight loss at size 12/14 and everything in between in the 50 years of my life as a fat person - I first got fat at about 11 years old).

I could do with losing eight but I honestly don't care enough to go down the bariatric surgery route nor do I want to take mounajaro (or whatever the fuck it is) . I am pretty fat but I can still walk and climb hills (albeit very slowly nowadays). Yes I sometimes eat junk, particualrly at service stations (becasue well it is a service station ....) but 95% of the time I live a normal life, eating healthy foods in large quantities because I like food and can't be arsed to starve myself to keep slim. I have tried a number of times over the years and just can't do it.

I think I have lived a good life, I have a degree, a family I love and who loves me. I work hard, have paid my taxes and have never been in hospital or been seriously ill in my life so far. I have travelled, I like all sorts of things and think I am a kind person who lives a normal, reasonably happy life. I walk, do excercise and even go to the gym a couple of times a week,

I drink very little, have never done drugs, broken the law or been more of an arsehole than the average person I think. Yet I am to be considered 'disgusting' because I am greedy and like to eat more than is good for me.

Yeah well everyine is entitled to their opinions but I have no interest in discussing how fat we have all become with people who have that view of me and frankly I find the whole topic just dull. I am just going to continue living my life as well as I am able to until I can no longer do so or until I die. And anyone who thinks I am disgusting because I am fat can just fuck right off. My experience in any case is that people, women in particular, often talk about nothing else

So yes carry on and discuss 'how fat we have all become' but don't expect some of us to join in as we are just bored of the whole topic and have spent far too much of our 62 years on this earth talking about it, with no solution . So I will leave it to those better qualified and cleverer than me to solve.

This is a great post and honestly you are right in your opening paragraphs when you explained why we can't discuss it.

OP posts:

ThePussy · 02/05/2025 21:05

I found a size 16 skirt from the 1980s stuffed in my wardrobe. My size 10 daughter couldn’t even get it over her thighs.

AquaPeer · 02/05/2025 21:05

HeartyViper · 02/05/2025 20:58

Sofie Hagen is a good one to look up when talking about this. She’s obese but openly calls herself fat in the way that she would if she was thin. She talked about how she finds other terms uncomfortable, as if her body shape is something taboo.

i think what we lack here is the frankness of other countries and the fear of making anyone uncomfortable. I’m not fat but I am definitely heavier than I would like to be or should be, and I am working on that. Mostly o I am still here in 40 years time.

Why this constant reference in the thread to other countries and how badly the uk compares to them? Half the time it comes from a place of zero knowledge but just exposes this bizarre self hating Brit mentality that does nothing to deal with the issue (or any issue really)

Blueskies25 · 02/05/2025 21:07

bumblingbovine49 · 02/05/2025 20:12

You are allowed to talk about it but the reason people don't is because it is complicated and people usually resort to either 1) simplified solutions from a position of superiority or 2) exclamations of disgust, We have already had that within the first few posts. The actual words ' they disgust me'. That is why people don't want to talk about it.

I am fat, very fat - Size 22/24 fat. I have been fat pretty much all my life (with periods of weight loss at size 12/14 and everything in between in the 50 years of my life as a fat person - I first got fat at about 11 years old).

I could do with losing eight but I honestly don't care enough to go down the bariatric surgery route nor do I want to take mounajaro (or whatever the fuck it is) . I am pretty fat but I can still walk and climb hills (albeit very slowly nowadays). Yes I sometimes eat junk, particualrly at service stations (becasue well it is a service station ....) but 95% of the time I live a normal life, eating healthy foods in large quantities because I like food and can't be arsed to starve myself to keep slim. I have tried a number of times over the years and just can't do it.

I think I have lived a good life, I have a degree, a family I love and who loves me. I work hard, have paid my taxes and have never been in hospital or been seriously ill in my life so far. I have travelled, I like all sorts of things and think I am a kind person who lives a normal, reasonably happy life. I walk, do excercise and even go to the gym a couple of times a week,

I drink very little, have never done drugs, broken the law or been more of an arsehole than the average person I think. Yet I am to be considered 'disgusting' because I am greedy and like to eat more than is good for me.

Yeah well everyine is entitled to their opinions but I have no interest in discussing how fat we have all become with people who have that view of me and frankly I find the whole topic just dull. I am just going to continue living my life as well as I am able to until I can no longer do so or until I die. And anyone who thinks I am disgusting because I am fat can just fuck right off. My experience in any case is that people, women in particular, often talk about nothing else

So yes carry on and discuss 'how fat we have all become' but don't expect some of us to join in as we are just bored of the whole topic and have spent far too much of our 62 years on this earth talking about it, with no solution . So I will leave it to those better qualified and cleverer than me to solve.

I could do with losing eight but I honestly don't care enough to go down the bariatric surgery route nor do I want to take mounajaro

No mentioning of actual dieting in this scenario

Potato1234 · 02/05/2025 21:11

TheRoomWhereItHappened · 02/05/2025 20:59

I was thin (size 8 BMI 20) until I needed months of high dose steroids followed by daily lower doses with 10+ flare ups a year requiring higher doses. 3 years in I am now now obese. Both my consultants (who I’d wager know more than mumsnetters) have said there’s nothing I can actually do about it until I no longer need the steroids. My diet hasn’t changed and I still exercise. At one point I was eating 1000 calories a day and still gaining. This is the case for most people on steroids so if you have a solution then a lot of people will be very grateful…

That’s awful, so sorry. I was on steroids last year for 9 months (during pregnancy). I had HG and literally didn’t eat for 9 months. But I gained 2.5 stone

JosephsCoat · 02/05/2025 21:12

Comedycook · 02/05/2025 19:21

I think the upf thing is over egged....I'm a really good cook...I cook a lot from scratch and like really good quality food. I can tell you it's perfectly possible to get fat on home cooked food.

Mmm, I think a better way to put it is that there are a looooot of ways to get fat, because that is what the human body has evolved to do. I too found I put weight on when I could afford to buy and cook whatever I liked.

Fizbosshoes · 02/05/2025 21:14

Comedycook · 02/05/2025 20:30

I'm not sure we all feel hunger in the same way. I know people who feel hungry, eat, then forget about food until they're hungry again. My DH is like this. I never stop thinking about food..ever. seriously. I've been thin..a size 8...I still never stopped thinking about food. Therefore the discipline I used to stay that size was monumental compared to someone who doesn't have the food noise in their head all the time.

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I'm sure the only reason I'm not overweight is luck, especially as my mum was overweight. I do a lot more exercise than she did, but im not sure i eat any less. The amount I eat (gobble/stuff my face/gorge/scoff etc etc) is way more than the average person who documents their food intake on MN.

Redpeach · 02/05/2025 21:15

ThePussy · 02/05/2025 21:05

I found a size 16 skirt from the 1980s stuffed in my wardrobe. My size 10 daughter couldn’t even get it over her thighs.

Could the 6 be a zero?

HeartyViper · 02/05/2025 21:15

AquaPeer · 02/05/2025 21:05

Why this constant reference in the thread to other countries and how badly the uk compares to them? Half the time it comes from a place of zero knowledge but just exposes this bizarre self hating Brit mentality that does nothing to deal with the issue (or any issue really)

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Mine comes from plenty of knowledge as i am not originally from the UK, and although I have lived here for 20 years, I visit my home country often so can see first hand how attitudes and sizes compare. But thanks for your comment.

Original poster

Nodinnernogift · 02/05/2025 21:15

Blueskies25 · 02/05/2025 21:07

I could do with losing eight but I honestly don't care enough to go down the bariatric surgery route nor do I want to take mounajaro

No mentioning of actual dieting in this scenario

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She does mention dieting, she refers to it as starving to keep herself slim.

And honestly, you've just added weight to the argument she's been making with that judgemental ill-informed remark. No wonder she is bored of the whole topic.

OP posts:

Crushed23 · 02/05/2025 21:16

ThePussy · 02/05/2025 21:05

I found a size 16 skirt from the 1980s stuffed in my wardrobe. My size 10 daughter couldn’t even get it over her thighs.

I’m technically a size 4-6, but have an old Topshop dress that’s size 8 and TIGHT.

Vanity sizing is ludicrous.

babyproblems · 02/05/2025 21:16

I think the food industry in the UK holds our health to ransom. The government do feck all but help these companies make money. I include the supermarkets in this cahoot. The quality and general range of food stock in the UK is rubbish and the supermarkets drive down quality chasing lower and lower prices to improve their profits whilst we eat fake food or modified food.

The fact no one learns to cook at school anymore is also a disservice to our health. The curriculum prioritises ‘skills’ that benefit capitalism over feeding ourselves and learning good, healthy habits as a young society. Cooking, meal planning, managing a budget, and politics, should all be compulsory core subjects imo.

Original poster

Nodinnernogift · 02/05/2025 21:18

I think @bumblingbovine49 has nailed the problem in her analysis of why we can't talk about it.

I think my title / OP is badly worded though because it should read "why can't we discuss rapidly rising obesity in a constructive way?".

OP posts:

ruethewhirl · 02/05/2025 21:18

Blueskies25 · 02/05/2025 21:07

I could do with losing eight but I honestly don't care enough to go down the bariatric surgery route nor do I want to take mounajaro

No mentioning of actual dieting in this scenario

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Did you read pp’s post properly? Because pp clearly explains why she’s not dieting. Or were you in such a hurry to imply she should be dieting and assume she’s lazy that you couldn’t be bothered to digest her words properly?

Choosing not to diet is just as legitimate a life choice as choosing to do so.

Redpeach · 02/05/2025 21:19

Crushed23 · 02/05/2025 21:16

I’m technically a size 4-6, but have an old Topshop dress that’s size 8 and TIGHT.

Vanity sizing is ludicrous.

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Is size 4 an actual adult size

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 02/05/2025 21:20

I think it depends. If you’re discussing your own weight whilst allowing other people to discuss theirs, it’s fine.

What’s not ok is judging other people when you don’t know what they have going on. Poverty, poor mental health, physical issues are all things people can’t help.

Its a lack of empathy that is the problem and most weight-shaming threads stem from that.

Redpeach · 02/05/2025 21:20

Comedycook · 02/05/2025 20:28

I don't drink either...but I don't believe that many people recoil in disgust when they see people holding a pint of beer or a glass of wine...yet when they see people eating cake, they start judging

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Mumsnet is very anti drink in general

AquaPeer · 02/05/2025 21:21

HeartyViper · 02/05/2025 21:15

Mine comes from plenty of knowledge as i am not originally from the UK, and although I have lived here for 20 years, I visit my home country often so can see first hand how attitudes and sizes compare. But thanks for your comment.

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So knowledge of one other country then? Extensive 🙄

MonsteraDelicious · 02/05/2025 21:21

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 02/05/2025 16:59

Whilst I agree less cosmopolitan areas have higher obesity rates, London is hardly a load of gym bunnies. I live and work in Zone 1 and the majority of people I see are out of shape: fine, not morbidly obese but a large midriff, obvious visceral fat. What’s “average” is now doughy.

How can you see visceral fat from the outside 😆

MonsteraDelicious · 02/05/2025 21:24

Nodinnernogift · 02/05/2025 21:18

I think @bumblingbovine49 has nailed the problem in her analysis of why we can't talk about it.

I think my title / OP is badly worded though because it should read "why can't we discuss rapidly rising obesity in a constructive way?".

Who do you intend to discuss it with, though? People around you who are overweight? I imagine they are already aware

AquaPeer · 02/05/2025 21:25

MonsteraDelicious · 02/05/2025 21:24

Who do you intend to discuss it with, though? People around you who are overweight? I imagine they are already aware

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Can you imagine sitting with your mates around a coffee table and being like “soo…… I want to raise something. We just never discuss the obesity crisis!” 😭😭😭