AIBU to think my friend is too comfortable in my home?

[QuizzlyBears]

I have a very good friend who spends a lot of time at my house, but recently I’ve been feeling a bit irritated at the level of comfiness they are displaying, almost bordering on entitlement. Examples include setting up the ironing board to give their shirt a quick once over, asking if I am ‘popping a wash on’ and could include their sweaty running gear, helping themselves to drinks from my garage supplies (kept as back ups/to keep kitchen stocked), suggesting things I ‘need’ to purchase to make the garden comfier for their sunbathing, using my hair straighteners to randomly curl their hair in the morning….I’ve no issue with a friend being comfy enough to pop the kettle on and I love that my home is welcoming, but AIBU to think this is a bit too comfortable? Would it bother you? For what it’s worth I know her house is not as comfortable as mine in lots of ways, and so it seems she gravitates here in a way that makes it seem like she’s treating it as hers…but it’s annoying me. If you’d feel the same way, how would you approach it?

YABU - friends should be comfortable, let her get on with it!
YANBU - she’s too comfy and needs to reign it in!

Op does pay her in cash.

Why do people comment without reading the op’s thread properly?

Popping back to say thanks for all the helpful comments. I’ve had a think and think I’m armed with some kind responses to start affirming my boundaries a bit more - and saying no if she asks to move in!!!

Do you want her round less often but because of the dog walker, she’s there too much?
or don’t you mind the time she’s there, but want more boundaries?

Yikes, do you think she’ll ask to move in?

Move your ironing board so that it’s not available to her. When she asks where it is say it’s broken and you needed your dad/partner to take a look at it.

No I’m not putting a wash on until next week now, you’ll have to do it at home.

Lock the garage door and misplace the key again so she can’t get at your cupboard stores.

Ignore her suggestions for extra garden furniture. Take no interest in her ideas for comfy lounging. Or, say …. Well you buy one for your garden and I’ll come round and test it out to see if I like it.

By the time you have tackled the above, she won’t dare ask where you have hidden the hair straighteners.

OP, there’s no need to fall out with her over this especially if you are a little bit to blame by your over-welcome, help-your-self-to-whatever-you-need hospitality style which she has taken literally.
Try little hints in isolation every now and again, such as above, and see if she gets the message. If you can’t wean her off her bad habit gradually in this way then you will have to get a bit tougher and have a serious chat asking her to help you get your electricity bill down by no longer ironing or using straighteners. And tell her you are no longer keeping extra drink stores in the garage except for the children.

Beware of her having a housing emergency.

That is how users usually get to move in.
They have a housing emergency and are "desperate for somewhere" and they catch people out.

Don't be caught out.
Be ready with "No that wouldn't work for me".

I had this happen to me too! But with a family member. They would expect me to pay for the ingredients for dinner (as it's my house), then after 2 months even asked if they could have a copy of the house key.

I once wanted to bring a guy I was seeing and they got really offended, as if to say I prefer him to him, and even said she could stay in a different room.

I don't even behave like that in my parents or any other family member's home, let alone a friend's home!!

Way too comfortable, I stopped letting a friend come round to mine too much when she commented that she didn’t buy any lunch items anymore as she knew I would provide….

If it bothers you, then yes, it’s too much.

I have only 4 close friends, that I consider like family so this would not bother me with them, one bit. But any other friends on the peripheral I wouldn’t like it.

How does he/ she know you're home?
Who lets her/ him in?

Takes two to tango....and so on...

Oh and walk the dog yourself/ find someone else

From the title I was expecting to say YABU because who wouldn't want close friends and family feeling comfy in their home.

But doing their ironing? Adding to your washer? Adding to the shopping list? It all sounds bizarre, why did they even have clothes that needed washing and ironing when they visited? I think its a bit CF but it'll only change if you set boundaries. You have to say no.

I have a friend I'm very comfortable with. I show this by helping with tidying or food prep. I might get myself a drink from the selection that's usually out already. I might offer to make them a cup of tea.

I wouldn't suggest laundry or eat their biscuits or start getting stuff out of storage!