To ask what to expect at a wedding dress appointment?

[ElleBelleLou]

I have my first appointment tomorrow at a bridal shop to try some dresses on, we're planning for a May 2028 wedding.

I know there's a LOT of time before May 2028, but I don't have even a slight clue what style of dress I might like or would suit me, so I wanted this initial appointment to try different styles on and hopefully get a bit of an idea.

My mum is coming, and my Grandma - we recently lost my Grandad so my mum and I thought this would be a nice little thing to do with my Grandma and get her out.

I am nervous as I have no idea what to expect - do I just turn up, tell them I am clueless and follow their lead?! What do I wear? Should I have some kind of Pinterest board with me? (joking .... I think)

If anyone can give me a heads up as to what to expect, and anything I may need to know or do I would appreciate it. I have anxiety hence the panicking about the unknown!

Thank you in advance

I’d just be honest and say you’ve no idea what you’d like and ask if you could try a range of styles eg big skirt, fitted, strapless etc and then take it from there. Wear decent underwear.

Just tell them you would like to try a range of styles to get ideas. Perhaps don't get too fixed as your view of what you might like/trends is likely to change in the next couple of years.

They will have lots of dresses in lots of styles - just try on lots. Some will be lovely, some won't look right on you, some maybe will be a style that you, your mum and nan hate, and you can all have a laugh about how rubbish you think it looks! Make a mental note of bits you like (e.g. this length, that bodice, those sleeves) and gradually you can home in on what you want.

do I just turn up, tell them I am clueless and follow their lead?!
That's what I did. Said I had no real.idea what would suit me or what I liked other than I wanted some kind of sleeve. They picked out a few suggestions. I said yay or nay to them, tried on 5 or 6. Narrowed it down to 2 immediately and to 1 within the hour I was there. Hadn't expected to be so definitive but I had it ordered by the end of that first appointment. It's fine to not have a clue till you get there. I think that's half the fun for them as well as you!

What do I wear? anything you can easily take off. There's no requirement to be wearing anything specific. Just a decent bra that gives you the best support you have to get a good idea of how something will look.

What’s your usual style? Are you looking for traditional dresses or something a bit quirky? Strapless? Sleeves? Etc. Have you looked at anything online you like?

Wear decent underwear - they will probably help you in and out of the dresses!

When I went with DIL she had a fixed idea of what she wanted , but they told her to browse and tag ( with little coloured discs) styles she liked. And then she tried them on.

I'm definitely going in there with no intention of buying a dress which I think was my DP's fear - I know my tastes (and maybe my body shape!) will change over the next 3 years, but I'd like to at least rule out some styles. Decent underwear noted!

I think I have no interest in big princess style or sleeves but aside from that I am open to anything! Not sure I have the assets for strapless which may limit me lol

I am open to quirky, non traditional - I'd LOVE a bit of pink involved somehow because my entire life is pink, and it's what I am known for at this point lol.

Just say you want some advice on what styles might suit you as you have no idea. It would be helpful if you had an idea of what the wedding is going to be like. Scottish castle is a different look than Ibiza beach wedding.

Honestly, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to not have very rigid ideas about what you want. I did come with pictures of specific dresses I wanted to try on. They all looked ridiculous on me. 😂 Dress lady pulled one she thought I should try on that would suit me, and I was like, oh wow, yes this one. Let them give you some guidance. It’s what they’re there for.

Wear a (preferably white) strapless bra.

Don’t buy anything until maybe a year in advance. A lot about your body can change in 3 years.

Yes, think about underwear. I wore a gorgeous but somewhat tiny pair of pants for my first dress appointment as I wasn’t anticipating the staff being quite as hands on as they were. I’d start with a few things you do or don’t like (material, generate style, anything you want to show off or flatter body wise) and just enjoy it. I wonder about a pair of heels (if you are planning to wear them) to give the right height.

I went to one with a very good friend. We tried on a few dresses then she looked at me and I looked at her. She eventually said “there is nothing for you here”. I said “no, I don’t think so”.

We left and I raided my wardrobe to find a neckline that looked really good on me and I went to a dressmaker for discussions. Then DM and I went and spent a day going to fabric shops, found something so after an overnight discussion, DM rang the shop, reserved fabric and drove three hours each way to buy it.

The dressmaker and I then built the dress. Neckline, waist, skirt, sleeves. Way, waaay out of fashion but suited me perfectly.

Before I was measured, dressmaker sent me out to buy the bra and shoes I was going to wear. I covered the shoes with dress fabric.

I had two different experiences. The first shop I went to we had a look round the dresses and picked out 5 or 6 to try. Having tried them on, the owner picked out a few more for me to try based on the things I’d liked.

At the second shop I had a consultation with the owner and she asked to see some photos of dresses I liked and asked why I liked them etc. She then went and chose 3 dresses for me to try and asked what I liked/didn’t like about each. She continued to find dresses based on my feedback so I never actually browsed the range that they had. We found the perfect dress and bought that day!

Both times the owners got me into and out of the dresses and I was braless so prepare for that! I also didn’t wear make up or strong smelling perfume etc to be mindful of not getting anything on the dresses!

Out of interest is there any reason you are doing this so early?

How does the shop make any money from someone who has "no intention of buying?" Do they ask for any payment for this type of service? (Trying on loads of dresses?) Do you have to show any "proof" you are getting married?

Sorry for all the questions!!

Just for the fun of it, I Googled and guess I found a USA website ?
They suggest there are the following styles of wedding dress:

Types of wedding dresses from A-Z: A-Line | Ball Gown | Column | Empire | Fit-and-Flare | High-Low | Jumpsuit | Mermaid | Midi | Mini | Pantsuit | Separates | Sheath | Slip | Tea Length | Trumpet

However some of them are clearly length rather than ' style '

If you were my daughter, I would suggest you try on each of the main styles -
A line
Ball gown
Mermaid
etc.

and see how you feel

then once you think you have a style

then fabric / colour / sleeve or no sleeve etc.

then decide on how much or how little decoration / bling you do or don't want.

will you be wanting a veil ? yet again they come in different lengths.

Hopefully you get a decent amount of time in the shop.

Enjoy !

Oh, how exciting! I echo what others have said re. underwear. I also had an idea of what I wanted but none of it suited me. The assistant suggested a dress I thought was a total nope and it turned out to be perfect (I burst into happy tears at my reflection 😁.) They see so many brides to be and have an excellent sense of what will suit people. Obviously it’s your decision but it’s worth trying on some you might have not considered.

Hope you have a lovely time.

Sorry just to add, I didn’t go into the shop braless, I tried the dresses on braless because generally you don’t wear a bra with wedding dresses as they are so structured (and I’m very large chested!)

What is the point if you’ve no intention of buying? I went shopping about a year and half before my wedding because I had no idea what I wanted but went tried on some dresses and found the one. Unless you’re open to buying one if you find the right one then I don’t think you should waste their time until you’re ready to buy. That appointment could go to someone who is planning to spend money

@Coconutter24 if I find the one, I am more than happy to buy it - but also felt a nice thing to do knowing I am getting married, can get my Grandma involved in something fun after a hard time. I am just not thinking it's likely that I will come away with the dress when I am going in with absolutely no clue what I want really!

We know our venue and date - and are actually deciding between having that as a blessing / party and having a smaller ceremony sooner so who knows, maybe I will need the dress sooner than I think currently.

My mum said - we see one, we all cry, that's the one we go with - so I am anticipating tears from my mum and Grandma to help me know what looks best 😂

So, nice (but not tiny!) white knickers, and a white strapless bra I think is my plan. And sandals as I am not a heels person, I don't think I will wear heels at the wedding - I believe I want a dress long enough to cover my feet anyway :)

At this stage, I'd forget details and focus on shape. I concentrated a lot on silhouette, waistline, neckline, sleeves, back, veil length first time. You can get almost anything in any fabric, but it's easiest to decide shape first.

Do nice make up and hair in a way that's easy to put up or down to take a look at that.

Wedding dresses run two sizes bigger than the high street, so be ready for that.

Oh and don't let your bereaved grandma's tears pressure you into a dress you don't want! What they think looks best doesn't trump what you like. My mum wanted me to wear a prom dress with a horrible lumpy waist.

Haha noted - my Grandma and I certainly have very different tastes lol. Think if she had her way it would be long sleeved, high necked (think polo top style)!

Tread carefully. I would actually advise you leave your credit card at home, I ended up buying a dress at my first appointment that wasn't right for me. Depending on the boutique they can be quite hard-sell (telling you you look amazing, telling you it just so happens it's a sample dress so they can give you it half price if you sign the contract now, etc). As time went by I ended up watching loads of Say Yes to the Dress and Instagram content and hating the sight of my dress, so I went shopping again 6 months later and found my perfect dress in a much nicer boutique.

By all means go and try them on, you are under no obligation to buy. Don't be guilt-tripped by PPs. Lots of places charge a fee (£30ish) for your appointment, they're not expecting to make a sale on every bride. Don't wear makeup, fake tan or strong perfume or deodorant, as if you stain the dress they may charge you.

What made you choose this place? After my initial disastrous experience I did loads of research and found boutiques that were more aimed at cool, chic, elegant, minimal fuss dresses as that's what I knew I wanted. Some boutiques are going to have more sparkly ballgowns. Miss Bush Bridal on Instagram did an excellent Q&A, I think it was about 3 years ago but it might still be on the highlights. Lots of info about dress shape, colour, styling, veil, shoes etc.

Oh and don't expect to go in and try on lots of dresses, the staff will probably limit you to about 6. Partly due to time, partly probably due to the cost of the dresses and wear and tear.

This is really helpful, thank you! Good shout about leaving my card at home. Luckily I am not easily persuaded so if I go in thinking I am not buying my dress today, then it will take the absolute perfect one to change that. I can't see it happening (but then you never know!)

Good shout about the make up etc too, I don't have any tan on currently and won't apply any, and will avoid any skin make up!

I actually chose this place because it's been on my walk to primary school, then my first 2 jobs, and now just my walk to town since I was 4 years old. So 25 years of looking in the windows, admiring the displays - it's where I've always imagined going since I was a little girl so it felt right. It's only a little homely place, but the dresses in the window are BEAUTIFUL!

Don’t buy the first dress you try on. Especially if you know they’ll be tears coming your way. Sometimes the sight of being in a dress is often so overwhelming that the actual dress and if it’s the one for you is over looked.

Don’t let their tears influence you. It’s got to be right for you.

Styles in two years time will be different from what’s in the shops now.