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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to buy myself this?

99 replies

Neess · 02/05/2025 07:38

I always wanted to get married, have a strong relationship… it wasn’t meant to be for me.

I am a single parent to a five year old. Ex pays his way and I have a good job. I’ve managed to save a bit. Would it be crazy to spend 5-10k on a ring for me? Would it lose value over time?

I’ll never have someone buying me a nice ring as life is so busy and my focus is dd but I’d love one…is it weird to buy one for myself?!

OP posts:
MereNoelle · 02/05/2025 07:39

Buy yourself whatever you want with your own money!

DustyLee123 · 02/05/2025 07:39

I wouldn’t spend that much on an engagement ring and wedding ring combined, so YABU

Agix · 02/05/2025 07:40

I'd think you were crazy, but you'd probably think I was crazy on the amount I spend on collectable pokemon cards 😉

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 02/05/2025 07:40

Buy something second hand at least. But yes it will lose value, a lot, hence you should buy second hand if you're doing it! Nothing wrong with wanting something nice for yourself but not from your savings. Only an amount that you can afford to lose with decent savings still behind you.

Moonnstars · 02/05/2025 07:41

If you have that much money to spend on yourself then it's your money.
My wedding ring was less than £500. It's not about the money.
If you want a nice piece of jewellery and it's something you can afford then why not. If you're simply doing it as feel you are missing out and think you should have an expensive ring then YABU.

Mischance · 02/05/2025 07:42

That is rather a lot of money to spend on a ring. Have a holiday, or save it for your child's eduction.

MayMadness2025 · 02/05/2025 07:42

You can spend your money as you wish. However, to me I d feel that was wasteful since you never know what's around the corner, you could lose your job or unexpected expenses come up.

justkeepswimingswiming · 02/05/2025 07:42

long as you don’t wear it on your wedding finger. It will loose value though so don’t spend your much.

Marianwallace · 02/05/2025 07:43

If it’s important to you then do it. Don’t think of it as an investment though because it most definitely won’t be.

Wahsingday · 02/05/2025 07:44

But yourself a lovely piece of jewellery, whatever you wish. £10k seems nuts though, would you even be happy wearing it regularly?

NormasArse · 02/05/2025 07:44

justkeepswimingswiming · 02/05/2025 07:42

long as you don’t wear it on your wedding finger. It will loose value though so don’t spend your much.

She can wear it on whatever finger she likes!

FatLarrysBanned · 02/05/2025 07:45

Isn't it more the sentiment that comes with the ring, rather than the ring itself that is important?

The engagement/wedding ring is a a symbol of love and comittment given by someone who is outwardly declaring "I want to spend the rest of my life with you".

A £100 ring represents the same as a £10,000 ring. I don't think new jewellery does hold its value. It is mass produced and generic. If you want to buy a piece of beautiful jewellery for yourself, I'd go for something second hand/vintage/antique whatever you want to call it if you want to use it as an investment piece. 💍

Doingmybest12 · 02/05/2025 07:45

If you can afford it and you'll love it an wear it then why not. Second hand is better value but buy something you ll get pleasure from. I always notice nice rings when I'm in meetings.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 02/05/2025 07:45

Yes, it will lose value, as in you'd never be able to sell it for what you paid for it.

If you have many £000s in savings, by all means buy what you like. If not then no - make sure you have a good financial base before you spend £5k-£10k on a luxury.

Also, nice rings don't have to cost that much.

Nuffalready · 02/05/2025 07:46

She can wear it on whichever finger she chooses, surely?! Personally, I’d spend on holidays and get a lovely ring for half that price also.

Itsjustsodepressing · 02/05/2025 07:47

You are not unreasonable to want to buy a ring.

To spend that much money on it sounds absolutely ridiculous to me unless you really are so extremely wealthy money means nothing to you. Or it is a form of investment.

BUT. It's your money and you can do what you want with it.

Original poster
Neess · 02/05/2025 07:47

Thank you, good food for thought here!

OP posts:
Overthebow · 02/05/2025 07:48

I don’t think buying yourself a ring is crazy, but I do think spending £5k on a ring is unless you’ve got a lot of savings for both yourself and your DCs.

Cadenza12 · 02/05/2025 07:48

Yes, it would immediately lose value. I know someone who sold a stunning engagement ring for £500. Cost £3.5k. Buy second hand. Don't spend more than £1k. You'll get a great ring.

HeyItsPickleRick · 02/05/2025 07:49

Why not, if you have the money?!

HeyItsPickleRick · 02/05/2025 07:49

Have a look at wave antiques - for 5k+ you’ll get an AMAZING one!

Original poster
Neess · 02/05/2025 07:49

Ok I definitely won’t be spending a lot if they lose value!

OP posts:
Carpetty · 02/05/2025 07:50

When I turned 40 I bought a gorgeous neck piece for myself, a statement piece of semi precious stones, hand made with a torc.
Gorgeous.

At the time I received so many compliments about it when I wore it.
I said it was a gift to myself for turning 40 and managing 3 under 5 years.
I felt I so deserved it!

This was greeted with surprise and overwhelming positivity.
Women don't have to wait to be gifted jewellery, buy it for yourself and enjoy it.
That was 25 years ago, and not the last piece of jewellery I have bought for myself.

Have a look at antique, second hand pieces, there is great value out there.
Enjoy the looking.

ArminTamzerian · 02/05/2025 07:51

DustyLee123 · 02/05/2025 07:39

I wouldn’t spend that much on an engagement ring and wedding ring combined, so YABU

I don't understand this answer. YOU wouldn't spend it so OP is being unreasonable? Why? Is she spending your money?

Chocdown · 02/05/2025 07:52

It will lose value, yes.

Have you considered lab diamonds or moissanites as these are a fraction of the cost of a mined gem and are also an ethical choice. Even in a platinum setting they would set you back £2k or less, leaving you a good chunk of money for savings/safety net while still giving you a beautiful piece of sparkle.

I love my rings as jewellery in their own right, not just because of the symbolism. Everybody should be able to wear any jewellery they like, on any finger (as long as you can afford it)