to feel sad I am the only childless person at work

[user78999543]

I recently joined a team of 8 and I am the only one who doesn't have children. I'm finding it so hard at the moment because all the conversations at work are about their children or ttc.
I always ask them about their weekends on a Monday morning and they talk about their families which is understandable but as the week goes on they talk more and more about their children.
I find it really hard to listen to, I feel sad.

How old are you? If having kids is important then what steps can you take?

Talk about all the fun things you could do without a kid, all the long lie ins and brunchand drinks you had, even if you didn't.. they'll all be jealous of your freedom.

There is a childless mumsnetter forum on here that you may wish to ask for this to be moved to as you'll find more support there than AIBU I imagine. Just wanted to send you some support as society can be horribly child/family focused and this is excruciating when you're (for whatever reason) having a tricky time with that sort of constant chatter. I can somewhat relate x

YANBU. It can be tough being the only childless one in a group of mothers. I assume you are not childless by choice?

And yes I would have this move do the Mumsnetters Without Children Board.

As long as they don;t expect you to to not take holidays in the summer/Christmas - of course they are going to talk about their lives if you ask them what they did.
Equally valid for you to talk about your life & what you've been up to.

If your sadness is that you don;t have children, surely that's a bit bigger than lack of family to talk about at work?

The problem is they are talking about their lives. As a parent it's very hard to talk about yourself, weekend etc without mentioning your children.

I sympathise, it must be very hard, but there's nothing you can do but build your own resilience to it.

Sorry to hear this OP. I'm in a similar team but it doesn't bother me as I'm childfree by choice. It struck me the other day in a team chat that it would be horrendous if I wanted children.

But agree with PP, they are just discussing their lives. Do you enjoy your weekends?

I’ve never talked about my (now adult) children at work. I lose the will to live when people start talking about theirs so I wouldn’t inflict that tedium on anyone else.

If anyone asks about my weekend I keep it very easy breezy; weather, dogs, books, Netflix. And quietly leave if the interminable school allocation conversations begin…

Thank yourself lucky less stress.

I feel for you. I had that in a job before I had ds. I had had miscarriages too and was in my late 30s.

I had ds age 41. Hopefully your time will come. I do understand the pain as I went through it.

It’s a really tricky one. I have two preschoolers and at the moment between work and the family I find it quite hard to do breezy small talk about my life without it being 90% child chat! Appreciate that is fairly tragic 😂 However, I really do try. I was in a team meeting with two colleagues yesterday and one mentioned her child - it would have been really easy for me to agree and start a conversation on that so I purposefully said ‘oh totally…’ and then moved it onto another subject, because I didn’t want to alienate the child free colleague.

Yes, it’s normal for people to gravitate towards a common subject but your colleagues don’t sound like they’re being thoughtful.

Whereas I can tolerate talk of other people's children, but talk about their bloody dogs I find unbearable!

I suppose it depends on if you’re child-free by choice or circumstance as to how much this bothers you.

Very helpful comment I’m sure 🙄

Both bore me rigid!

Yep had that comment thrown at me from colleagues, not helpful

YANBU. I am childfree by choice but I find it tiresome when my colleagues are going on about their children and I have nothing to say. I know it's not intentional, they're making what is to them normal conversation.

Oh I’ve had this op - ‘what have you got to be stressed about/tired about/bothered about’ nice isn’t it. Oh I dunno let’s have a think what else in the world can be stressful. I admire parents and think they’re awesome but sometimes just want to say F off and get an imagination.

As in watching DP throwing up with metastatic cancer awaiting calls if he was ok. Parents could take calls at work but I couldn’t. Cheers.

Yep, I was in a lovely Pilates class then a lot of mums joined when their kids went to school. I have never felt so lonely in my entire life, they never even saw me, never mind include me in the usual class chat.

I left, life is too short to feel shit.

And I'm fairly resilient, it just gets too much as it's their social norm.

I've felt this way in a group of women who are ally married or in relationships. I"m always the odd one out. Makes me feel a bit sad to realize that I never get to participate in those types of chats but I grit my teeth and bear it, it's not their fault.

What's wrong with them?

When I was, am, away from our children the last thing I want to talk about is them!

It's just people's lives I guess. Are you sensitive about not having dc or is it more a case of not being able to join in the conversation?

Do they ask you about your weekend? Do you talk about things in your life and do they engage with that?

As a long term single person, I find this because every person in my office is coupled up. Every single person.
I am a single parent although my DC are older and when they were little, no-one had DC the same age. Now all the younger ones are having DC. All the older ones have DC who have left home. And all of them are coupled up.
Probably not helpful, but I really dislike any social occasions where talk turns to ‘so what are you doing at Christmas?’ or over the summer or what ever else.
I like my job and my colleagues, but my God, do I feel like the odd one out.

She said that in her op.