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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Will I get sacked from work?

71 replies

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 07:16

I didn’t go work Monday and Tuesday as I had high temperature and felt very unwell. Forced myself to go in yesterday but felt like crap. On my way driving home get a call from my youngest school saying he has high temperature and feels sick. So I haven’t gone in today as I have no one to leave him with. I left a message at work saying I can’t come in as son is unwell. I don’t work Fridays do today is my last working day. I’m really worried I’m going to get in trouble. I was late last week as he was unwell again and had to drive to my family to leave him there. Couldn’t do that today as he wouldn’t let me leave his side. He’s 5. I feel like work might think I’m making it all up. They did see the state of me yesterday as I looked a mess

OP posts:

stichguru · 01/05/2025 08:04

To be honest provided you have let work know in the manner they have told you to report absence, I can't see a problem. 3 days off sick in 2 years, isn't much. Like if this was happening every month of even every couple of months, yes that might be a problem, but it isn't.

Itchyblister · 01/05/2025 08:12

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 07:58

Thank you everyone. Sorry for the confusion I do live with my DH but I’m like a single parent as he doesn’t help with childcare it’s all on me. I was in such a state yesterday I kind of feel relieved to be home today. I think I might have Covid so don’t want pass my germs onto people. Do we even test anymore for Covid?

I’m confused

I thought today’s absence was due to your child?

Original poster

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 08:21

@Itchyblister it is for my child. I am still unwell they could tell that when I went in yesterday, I would have gone in today but as he’s unwell I told them yes unwell so can’t come in.

OP posts:

Didimum · 01/05/2025 08:25

if you’ve been employed for over 2yrs you can’t just get the sack. Correct processes must be followed by employment law. The only thing they can do is put you on a performance plan or refer you to occupational health if attendance is an issue.

In any case, it seems like you are overthinking it. Is there a reason you feel so anxious about work? Do you have a shitty manager or culture?

Itchyblister · 01/05/2025 08:31

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 08:21

@Itchyblister it is for my child. I am still unwell they could tell that when I went in yesterday, I would have gone in today but as he’s unwell I told them yes unwell so can’t come in.

So but sounds like even if your child was fine you still wouldn’t go in because you don’t want to spread germs?

blackgreenandgrey · 01/05/2025 08:34

Didimum · 01/05/2025 08:25

In any case, it seems like you are overthinking it. Is there a reason you feel so anxious about work? Do you have a shitty manager or culture?

I agree, it seems like a huge overreaction to think you could possibly lose your job.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 01/05/2025 08:45

I manage a small team. The biggest problem I have when it comes to time and attendance is when people don't communicate with me. We all have problems in life to deal with and work doesn't always come first. If they talk to me, and let me know what's going on, I can plan around it and give them as much support and flexibility as I can reasonably provide. If they don't talk to me then I'm left guessing - I can't make adjustments to compensate for their unavailability, and as there is no reason for them not to communicate it reflects badly on them.

So, long story short, speak to your manager now, openly and honestly. Tell them what you've told us. If they are decent, and the organisation allows them some discretion, they should at least reduce your stress and worry. If they are not decent then you've not lost anything. You do need to find longer term childcare solutions though, regardless of how this current episode plays out.

Agapornis · 01/05/2025 08:50

Why are you so worried? Have they sacked your colleagues for similar? It is very normal to need sick leave occasionally.

UnstablePelican · 01/05/2025 09:24

I can’t believe this. I’m not in the UK but are you not allowed to be ill for more than a couple of days, or stay at home when your children are ill? This is just so odd.

1SillySossij · 01/05/2025 09:29

UnstablePelican · 01/05/2025 09:24

I can’t believe this. I’m not in the UK but are you not allowed to be ill for more than a couple of days, or stay at home when your children are ill? This is just so odd.

Emergency time off for dependants is legally protected.

DappledThings · 01/05/2025 09:40

You need to be clear with your employer whether you are taking today as sick leave for yourself or parental leave for your child.

Both are entirely valid, neither are sackable offences in the least. If you have a significant increase in sickness you might end up in a sickness policy review but that's not a punishment.

You need to not be flaky though. You've been really vague here about what kind of absence you are on today. That flakiness looks worse than the absence itself.

DappledThings · 01/05/2025 09:41

UnstablePelican · 01/05/2025 09:24

I can’t believe this. I’m not in the UK but are you not allowed to be ill for more than a couple of days, or stay at home when your children are ill? This is just so odd.

You absolutely are. OP is panicking unnecessarily

UnstablePelican · 01/05/2025 09:51

DappledThings · 01/05/2025 09:41

You absolutely are. OP is panicking unnecessarily

Show quote history

I’m glad to hear it.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 01/05/2025 10:32

Temporaryname158 · 01/05/2025 07:20

you won’t be sacked if you have followed policy and this is a one off.

if you are late, calling in sick and taking parental leave every week that’s different.

make sure you aren’t late in future, if you have to drop them off somewhere, you have to get up earlier. Lateness doesn’t reflect well but everyone’s Ill sometimes

That only works if you know in advance you're going to have to do that.

My old job (retail) you were supposed to let them know the day before if you were going to be off ill, which is not always possible.

Itchyblister · 01/05/2025 11:17

What happened op?

WeAreAllBucked · 01/05/2025 12:35

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 07:21

ive been there 2 years. Prior to this I’ve taken 3 days off

Ah op, you won’t be sacked, please rest up with your son, get well and you will be back next week. 3 days off in two years is not bad particularly with a young child. I feel
sorry for you in relation to your husband that he doesn’t help you.

GreenFields07 · 01/05/2025 12:40

OP you need to try and take today as parental leave if possible, first of all your son is the sick one and you say you wouldve gone in if he was ok.
Secondly, going into work yesterday ended your sickness period from Monday & Tuesday, so you'll end up with 2 different sickness periods rather than one if you take today sick. That will look worse on your record as some companies will look at periods of absence rather than number of days.
You're legally entitled to parental leave so asking for one day should not get you in trouble.

GreenFields07 · 01/05/2025 12:42

Also agree with PPs you have a serious Husband problem, if you cant even leave his son with him for a day, without even feeding him. Why are you even with your H if he brings nothing to the table?

Mumofferal3 · 01/05/2025 12:53

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 07:26

I am ill. I forced myself to go in yesterday and would have gone in today if he wasn’t unwell

Show quote history

Businesses will argue if ill, you shouldn't have been going in anyways. I know it seems counter intuitive but that's how HR works.

As for hubby not feeding him if off, I think that is an issue. You should be able to leave dad with child safe in knowledge that he will look after him.

blackgreenandgrey · 01/05/2025 12:53

UnstablePelican · 01/05/2025 09:24

I can’t believe this. I’m not in the UK but are you not allowed to be ill for more than a couple of days, or stay at home when your children are ill? This is just so odd.

You need a sick note if you are ill for more that 5 days and you are allowed emergency leave for sick dependants (also children) but this is usually unpaid. And the expectation is to sort something out in terms of childcare if the sickness is more than a few days. I lost my job when DC was in nursery and had frequent ear infections as I wasn't able to sort out someone else to look after DC. I think it's quite common here to dose up children with Calpol and send them to nursery or school as the system isn't really very supportive of working parents in such circumstances (esp if they do not have a support network to step in). I have friends in Europe who get 10 days paid leave if the child is ill. The UK is very far behind.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 01/05/2025 12:56

I would get a Covid test. You only need to test yourself when your son‘s probably got it. You wouldn’t want to pass it to anyone else.

Hastentoadd · 01/05/2025 12:57

Familydyn · 01/05/2025 07:58

Get a Covid test from the pharmacy, there is no point in saying that you think you have Covid when you don’t know

Clearinguptheclutter · 01/05/2025 13:04

You’re ill. You’ve been there two years. Unless there is some massive drip feed coming you need to let them know and concentrate on getting better

as for your dh I just can’t believe he won’t feed his own child.
next time this happens (right now you’re ill as well so don’t go in) could you make the dc a packed lunch and trust him to look after him? Find it very odd that you’d live with a man who can’t be arsed to feed his kid

Britneyfan · 01/05/2025 13:04

OP, I think you are panicking unnecessarily about this with your usual absence record and length of working there, however it’s honestly really kind of concerning that you feel unable to leave your sick child with their father because he wouldn’t feed them?! You still aren’t a single parent however (as a single parent I really wish people would stop saying this). In terms of testing for COVID there is no legal obligation to do this anymore, and in most work settings even if positive if you feel ok you can work as normal, however you absolutely can buy a COVID test from a pharmacy if you would like to know if this is likely to be COVID for your own information.

Clearinguptheclutter · 01/05/2025 13:04

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 01/05/2025 12:56

I would get a Covid test. You only need to test yourself when your son‘s probably got it. You wouldn’t want to pass it to anyone else.

Why? What good is it to test these days? Just go back to bed and keep away from other people. The same as you would with any other virus.

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