Am I making a terrible financial mistake?

[Farticus101]

In the last few years I have had a really rough time. I fled an abusive relationship and moved in with family. Unfortunately, this has now not worked out and I have been asked to leave as parents couldn't cope with my DC in the house and the atmosphere was becoming toxic.

I don't want to uproot DC from their school and friends yet again (it will be their third move in 4 years) so have decided to rent nearby. However, the only rental properties in the area are absolutely horrendously priced for a 2 bed. I will go deep into my savings to pay for this.

Ultimately, my plan is to run through my savings (but will keep 1 or 2 thousand pounds as a buffer), then, when I don't have to do childcare, I can work full time which will at least cover the rent and bills (only just). Obviously rent may go up in this time though which means we would have to leave the home either way. There is no way I can buy a property unless I move hundreds of miles away.

Am I being unreasonable to rely almost solely on savings for the next three years?

Sounds very sad really. Can't you make up with your family, surely they won't want you to spend all your savings on renting nearby. Use some of the money to take DC out more to give your parents more space, keep them in one room to play to give some adult space for parents, there should be some possible compromise.

Otherwise any partial ownership schemes, where initially you only own a % of the house, housing association schemes, could your parents lend you money to help you buy?

Could you not use your savings on a deposit to buy a house? Presumably you have £80k plus?

I don’t see why her parents need to put up with sharing their home for years with no end date and she is sitting on £££££

This, how old are dc and what are your parents struggling with?
Have you been living with them for years? How much are you paying them?

I can't buy a house without moving across the country (live in South East) and my job is here too. Moving to buy would be the smart option if I could move across the country but because DC (7 and 2) have moved quite a few times in a short time (and my job), just don't want to move them again at least for a couple of years. My parents can't contribute anything towards a deposit (I do help contribute to them financially), and they don't want DC around and are making it very clear. They can be quite rude and make nasty comments.

People mention you have £80k but I have read that in the OP.

i think it’s risky to spend all of your savings. Can you go on the list for local authority housing?

if needs must I’d do it I suppose. Do you even like the area?

once savings are below £16,000 you would be eligible for universal credit

Sounds tough OP
I would say that with children plural it may be hard to find someone to rent a 2 bedroom apartment to you and also if you don't have a good enough income multiplier it will be impossible to find somewhere.

I get why you are prioritising stability for your children but I’d move so they would have just one more move to a cheaper area for better quality of life.

You may have trouble getting a rental.

when I got divorced I wanted somewhere to rent for me and DD. They applied strict income multipliers and would not even let me view places that were out of reach in terms of income even though I had a lot of money in savings.

i wound up having to move town anyway as I couldn’t rent anywhere. Flats that were within my income multiplier were getting 30 or more applications within 24 hours and a mum with a kid was not an attractive tenant.

it’s one thing wanting to rent. It’s another actually getting a property to rent.

I admire you di6nt want to uproot your children, but I think it's very risky to use up your savings. I think it would be smart to move to an area you can afford and then be stable there for them. My mum raised me, and I was uprooted, but I learned a lot about how to live within my means from her. She had nothing, and made a home for us. I respect her so much.

Sorry typo £6000

I think at those ages another move would be possible. I'd use the savings for a deposit, rather than watch them dissappear in rent.

I'd move now while they are still young rather than later on

They're young enough to move, if your job can?

Hello - almost identical backstory and situ here. I'd bite the bullet and move to somewhere affordable. You can then chalk this patch up to the turmoil of getting back on your feet, not a permanent life left. My children are a little older now and when the first one gets to secondary school that's it game over, no moving for you. I thought I'd amp up my career but it turns out it is harder the more years go by. And also the earlier you start building on wealth the better things are for you later on. And lord knows you (and me) need a few easy years later down the line. I'm sorry you'll have to suffer more change, as it is exhausting in itself. Good luck. Well done for having savings.

I'd argue that a family home which includes a move, and results in a more stable financial position and being able to afford things is a priority over staying put in a more expensive area and burning through savings.

The 2 year old won't understand a move and the 7 year old is young enough to be adaptable at that age.

Will you qualify for benefit top ups when you go back to work?

At those ages move ! Don’t use up your savings

Why not get a 1 bed flat with a sofa bed for yourself in the living room. Or if you have £80k buy a 1 bed place. (Currently living in a 1bed place with 4 people, know quite a few people who have done this. Know 1 person who rented a studio flat with her small child because it was cheap and then could save to get a deposit together
Maybe get something you can add value to or buy outright at auction

No way would I be running savings down. If u are in the SE then look further afield to where you can afford with the transport links that get you into work. It might mean a school change but better that than dumping thousands in rent.

No reputable landlord would rent a 1 bed flat to someone with 2 children.
I work in this area and its hard enough to get Landlords to rent a 2 bedroom to a family of 3.

I think you need to move. Kids are resilient. South east is too expensive. I’m really sorry you are in this position, it must be so difficult

At 7 and 2 I would move them now and get it over and done with

Don't run your savings down. It leaves you in a very vulnerable position. Move now, take the hit and then settle somewhere new.

Where did she say she had £80k ?

Another for a move. Use your savings for a deposit on your own home. Private rental is not stable, your landlord could serve you a notice at and you could have to move anyway. at least with your own home you will have more stability long term

A lot of Housing Associations offer shared ownership properties. These are usually new builds, where you own a proportion of the house and you rent the remaining portion from the housing association. It’s a great way of getting a foot on the ladder and having some financial security. In your shoes it would be something I’d definitely consider.