Am I making a terrible financial mistake?

[Farticus101]

In the last few years I have had a really rough time. I fled an abusive relationship and moved in with family. Unfortunately, this has now not worked out and I have been asked to leave as parents couldn't cope with my DC in the house and the atmosphere was becoming toxic.

I don't want to uproot DC from their school and friends yet again (it will be their third move in 4 years) so have decided to rent nearby. However, the only rental properties in the area are absolutely horrendously priced for a 2 bed. I will go deep into my savings to pay for this.

Ultimately, my plan is to run through my savings (but will keep 1 or 2 thousand pounds as a buffer), then, when I don't have to do childcare, I can work full time which will at least cover the rent and bills (only just). Obviously rent may go up in this time though which means we would have to leave the home either way. There is no way I can buy a property unless I move hundreds of miles away.

Am I being unreasonable to rely almost solely on savings for the next three years?

I looked into this but apparently I can't get a shared ownership property because my income is too low and I wouldn't be able to make the repayments. No benefits except CB either because of the savings!

It sucks to live in an area that is so expensive you have to be earning over £60k to survive. I don't earn anywhere near that much and can't until youngest DC goes to school. Reading the comments I am starting to agree with the posters saying look in another part of the country. I do feel like this is my last chance to get a property otherwise I will end up just moving and still renting because I'll never afford a property again.

It takes time to look for and purchase a property. I am not sure my parents will give me that much time but it now feels if I had to move for 6 months to rent and then move again to buy it would be better than renting for a few years and having nothing. Feel bad for putting my kids through all this though. Glad I left the abuse with ex but had no idea about the hardship involved with finances.

So what kind of lump sum do you have? (If it’s okay to ask.) Because, frankly, if it’s enough to buy a modest home anywhere, it’s worth considering, and then all the upheaval would finally be over, you could live in a tiny place you owned, it would form a deposit for a bigger place later and you’d all get a fresh start….But if you’re savings aren’t enough for that, there’s no point even debating it.

I would move to an area you can afford.. buy a house and settle there…. Kids are young and will settle.

renting is not stable and you might have to move again

Look at work options elsewhere then move. Does your employer have sites elsewhere in the country? If not, look at areas with cheaper housing and register with a few local employment agencies, see what the possibilities are. Honestly better to move while kids are young to let them build new friend groups. Shameless plug here.....look at Sheffield. Lovely friendly people, housing much cheaper than in the SE and we are one of the greenest cities, with loads of parks and surrounded by the fabulous Peak District. Good luck.

Considering their ages, I would just move to a cheaper - but nicer - area and try to settle there permanently.

If you’re not relying on your parents for childcare it will make no difference anyways. It’s going to be difficult for you for a good few years, but at 7 children are really flexible.

I’ve done this but mine was older. It’s boring but it’s a small town where everything is nearby, so I’ve managed.

Your DC are only 7 & 2 so I would move. The younger won't even notice and the 7 year old will adapt to one more move. No way would I put myself in such a precarious position if there was another way.

I would look at any way of protecting my savings.

If there was a way to move to another area and then buy? You would have to have a huge chunk of cash as you have said your current income is too low for shared ownership. So how would you get a mortgage?

You will eat through your savings very quickly- but it really does depend on how big that savings pot is.

I'd look at what if you slammed your savings into a pension. This isn't taken into account for benefits (I don't think?). It means then that you will have the cash much later... But access to benefits now and it 'protects' your cash.

Yes yes I know that's not the most ethical thing to do... But that pot will soon disappear and you won't be left with any savings anyway for a deposit. Once you have a higher income, you won't have the pot anyway to use for a deposit.

I think a big question is whether you can do your job/another job in one of these cheaper places. And also whether you're limiting your employment and earning prospects by moving there. As a single mum, you'd struggle to commute long distances that some others might to enjoy good wages and cheap housing. And can you afford the mortgage payments even in those places, especially as interest rates are volatile?

Your youngest will presumably get 30 free hours soon. Can you increase work hours then, to limit the speed at which you burn through savings?

Yes, exactly this. Local housing authority said no help as my savings are above 16k so they expect me to spend anything above that on rent before being eligible to go on the housing register.

Not sure who started the 80k thing but I definitely didn't say I had 80k 😅

Thank you to all of you. I can see the best option is to bite the bullet and move elsewhere and try to get some long term stability in mine and my children's lives. I was worried about starting again without friends but we don't meet much anyway.

I will probably have to rent in a different place before buying there but at least the rent will be much cheaper and I can keep my savings.

Wish me luck. I feel a quiet town far away might be what me and my kids need after the chaos in our lives so far 😬

Please find a financial advisor or charity support to have a detailed conversation with. On one part time salary, you will struggle to get a mortgage.

It would be useful for you to understand your options, how much you earn, what options are available to you if you worked full time, how long you would need to be in your jib before a bank will accept this earning for mortgage purposes.. what childcare options are available to you if you were to work full time, including before and after school which can be challenging. How much your living costs are / will be and therefore how much you will be able to afford for your mortgage / . rental.

The average house price in the UK is £270k.. with a deposit of say £40k .. you would need a mortgage of £230k ... which you might get on a £60,000 salary... but might not.. especially if you had childcare costs in the mix.

You are in a difficult position, do not rush into a change without fully exploring your options, not least stability in your employment.

Approach the council get a property even a flat is OK. Claim uc and they will pay your rent.

Barnsley is cheap and friendly

Or just make your savings less than 16k put money in an isa for kids or go on holiday

I agree and do a move now, and start again. All the best, I hope it works out well for you.

Move now. You’d be incredibly foolish to spend several years worth of savings on rent.

Hi OP I was in a similar position some years ago. Two difficult things to deal with. The financial and also the emotional challenge that when it comes down to it you have quite limited support from family. For me one impacted the other and I moved out of the South East to Norfolk. My lifestyle here is much better and DCs benefitted from.the space and me having more disposable income relationships with family also improved

I wouldn’t move until you get some financial advice. If you relocate and still can’t get a mortgage then you have a problem. You will also need to find childcare, school and job.

I also think they now is a good time to move areas. I get why you want to give them stability but moving areas is so much easier for them at those ages rather than waiting a couple of years.

You can get a 3 bed house in a naice part of Cheshire with good schools and a rail link to Manchester.

But not on a part time wage, in a new job with limited deposit having to fund childcare for a 2 year old.

This sounds like the wisest option for me and moving earlier in their lives is better. With a two year old there is so much opportunity to build community wherever you end up.

Renting is so precarious atm with so many landlords selling up. Rent going up every single year too.

I agree
Part of my job is to find properties for clients
They all have well paid secure jobs with high savings and while some do have kids or pets most don't and it can STILL be a struggle finding theem a property to rent

OP you’re right, get a house now or I can almost guarantee you’ll end up renting forever. And it’s no fun, living in places where you can be evicted, repairs not done, no ability to sort things and no long term security.

If you set out your budget and any restrictions in terms of work we can give you some recommendations.

I’ve now got that in my head as a fallback plan if DH ever drives me too crazy. I always worry the money wouldn’t stretch if I had to divorce. But a little house in Barnsley could work.