To not expect this overwhelming grief

[Charltonstrek]

My elderly dog 19 years old became very unwell 2 days ago was vomiting and retching nothing coming up appeared very weak lethargic breathing funny I took him to the vets and was told he was in a very bad way and his gums where very pale. Vet said she was concerned that we was going to lose him she mentioned various blood tests xrays etc but then said it may not be worth putting him through it and putting to sleep may be kinder I went along with putting him to sleep but now the sadness and guilt is really consuming me it keeps hitting me like a ton of bricks and the tears start I've never had such feelings of sadness and wish I could hug my dog once more and tell him how much I really loved him he was in my life for 16 years and I feel empty I wasn't expecting it to hit this badly how do I get over it and can anybody relate sorry I've posted here for traffic and I'm so upset that he's gone and ill never see him again.

The pain and grief of losing a beloved animal is so acute isn’t it? I had my oldest cat PTS a few months ago and it was so hard, we’d had him from a kitten and he was 18. I still cry for him and the others I’ve lost.

We’ve had many cats over the years and I like to think that we gave all of them a huge amount of love and the best life any animal could want.
I tell myself that it’s part of being a loving and responsible pet owner to have them PTS if they are too old for treatment or are in pain.
My boy certainly was in pain and it was kinder this way.
Doesn’t make it any easier at the time though.

So sorry you are going through this, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Oh OP it’s completely natural to be so upset. I was the same when our childhood dog died, they really are our faithful friends. I love all animals, I even had to take a day off work when my little hamster died, I was so upset. So be kind to yourself, take care x

I've recently been in your situation OP. It is heartbreaking saying goodbye to our furbabies. Their loss leaves a huge void in our lives. The overwhelming grief is perfectly natural... We've lost a precious loved one from our family. We seem to think they'll go on for ever, but sadly a time comes when they have to leave us. I found that thinking about all of the lovely times we spent with ours, I've photos that come through almost daily on my memories on my phone. Each photo shows her living her best life. She knew she was loved beyond measure. That's what we hold on to. Sadly, when the time comes that they have to leave us, we have to make that difficult decision purely because we love them. Seeing them struggle or suffer is something we have no right to do. The days do get easier, when you get the ashes back, they will bring you comfort.
We have had our beautiful girl cremated too.
Take care of yourself OP. ❤️

Still struggling with this the hurt is bad

OP have you rung the Blue Cross pet bereavement service for support?

I agree with others that when the ashes come home it’s a relief that they are back home with you ❤️
Im still grieving 16 months later and she took a piece of my heart with her.But it’s not so raw or emotional now for me when I think about her.
i think of all the love and happiness she gave us

And it is such early days ((((((((HUGS ))))))))

I remember getting up the following day, his basket and bowls where they always were, his toys scattered - and I left them

Days on, obviously at some point I put them away, and then I became aware of the silence. The silence was deafening

I stopped staying in a quiet house, I had to put the tv or music on to kill the absolute silence that you never have when you have a pet

I stopped my walks, which I loved, because even though with him beside me Id still get caught up in my own thoughts, without him there beside me, what was the point?

I posted up thread that I lost him 23 years back now, and that my heart still hurts, that I do still cry when thinking of him, but it's now not all tears and sadness. Dont think that grief has a time frame, it doesn't , its how you manage to carry on living a life whilst grieving that matters

Back when my best boy went to the bridge, there was no compassion, no understanding, I had to carry on

Now there is bereavement counselling for the loss of pets and you know if it had been around back then, I honestly believe I would have accessed it

To be able to talk about the love between us, to someone who gets it? No judgement? Hell yes Id have been on the doorstep

Its early days for you, I won't even be as twee as to say it gets easier with time, but I will say you learn how to cope

But you dont have to cope alone - search out that help

I collected his ashes today and I've never felt so awful. I was sobbing and telling him how sorry I am I feel so guilty.

The sadness is so real I can't bear it

It is real, deep, overwhelming grief. You can bear it - because you simply HAVE to.

I've been where you are now, and I can tell you that it will get better - in time.

Cry all you can, keep going, and know that in time you won't feel this tearing, awful agony.
You'll remember with a smile, not tears. I promise.

We lost our cat a month ago. We had him for 17 years and he too was gone in two days. This is the first loss our daughter has experienced and watching that moment when she shifted from a happy carefree girl to someone realising that her beloved cat was going to pass away was heartbreaking. I remember her standing there, with the Easter cake in her arms which she had so happily purchased just 20 minutes ago, and tears pouring down her face. It's genuinely like losing a family member. We have another cat and a dog but there is a gap where our third pet was. He was genuinely the very best cat ever and I feel guilty that I love our other cat way less (she is very different in character). It is silly of me maybe. OP look after yourself. Maybe when you are ready you will get another dog and feel this pure, unconditional love again

You did the right thing, @Charltonstrek.

So sorry for your loss.

I've always like the way dogs are so glass full to the brim and spilling over.

There is also a FB page which I am finding very supportive. It is people who are going through the same thing, overwhelming grief and it is an outlet to share feelings and sadness. It is really helping me.

we lost our pup on Tuesday. I am finding it very hard, it is crippling. I am collecting her ashes tonight, hoping that helps.

OP - please keep posting, it will help you xxx

Losing a dog is very painful and I don’t think you realise how tough it is until you go through it. You definitely did the right thing, in time the raw grief will ease and you’ll have happy memories. It is a tough time right now, look after yourself and try and organise a few nice things to do with friends etc. Really sorry for your loss.

He loved me unconditionally seeing the urn has made me feel worse and God the sadness at been handed him at the vets to see my boy reduced to that it made me feel so bad

It is so hard, I totally understand. The grief is flooring, the pain is unbelievable. I don’t know what comfort I can offer you but please know you are not alone. Big hugs and handholds xxx

@Charltonstrek I am so sorry for your loss💐

I had to have mine pts on 11th April and I was not prepared for how I would feel afterwards. It has been the worst three, almost four weeks of my life and I miss her so much. For us it was a bit different as she had been ill for several months but not with something I thought would end this way, but she was fading and just not eating and for a food motivated spaniel that was not right at all.
It is getting a bit easier, but I still have very bad days where I could just cry all day. I hear noises I think is her and spin round to see her only remembering at the last second...All the ingrained behaviours we have, shutting doors when the shopping delivery comes, or any delivery really, dropping food and almost telling her to leave it.
We had her cremated and when the vet came with her ashes I wasn't prepared for how that would make me feel. We now have her birthday to come, she would have been 13 this month and we are hoping to scatter her ashes around then. I miss her so much💔

I'm sorry it's horrible isn't it

he was 16 years and just part of your life but you were his whole life. he is over the rainbow bridge now tail wagging happy and healthy looking down on you grateful that you were his owner. there is a saying Grief, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. so just know what your feeling is really love for your dog. like all deaths this stage will pass and you will get to a point you will be able to remember him with a smile and just know in years to come when its your time. he'll be there waiting for you tail wagging ball in mouth

saying throw the ball throw the ball mum x