AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

[SunnyLuny]

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden.

Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

You see this really pisses me off. Fine get a cat, but have a litter tray and cat proof your garden otherwise I will and do take every legal measure to keep them out of my beautiful bird loving garden.

Who owns the fence? You, neighbour or landlord?

I don't particularly like cats but it wouldn't occur to me to discuss with a neighbour that I was getting a pet. Guess the possibility of it shitting in her garden wouldn't enter my head . But I also wouldn't like to say to a neighbour to keep their cat away from my property. If they said no then I would be annoyed . So I agree that she just took preventative measures onto her own hand and is avoiding awkward conversations.

I'm a cat person - I love cats.

I'm also a gardner and love my garden .

And I would have been quite put out if your cats were using my garden as their toilet.

But I would never have said anything to you because that's what cats do. And I would have assumed there was nothing reasonable you could do to prevent it because I would really not want you to keep your cats inside if I complained.

So I would have put the spikes up and said nothing.

That is cruel, cats need to roam. Unfortunately if cat owners choose to let their cats out then you may get one crapping in your garden ultimately there isn’t anything you can do about it other than cat proofing your own garden; being angry with cat owners isn’t going to change that.

Following your logic, its also natural for many breeds of dog to want to chase and kill a cat.

I don’t know if she owns her house but we own ours. Also unsure who the fence belongs to. She has an L shaped garden that goes around the back of ours and it’s the back fence in my garden.

Cats are wild creatures, humans have empathy and ability to reason with thing such as good and bad, right and wrong. Humanely chasing /removing cats is fine

The spikes are useless. We put them all around our garden and the cats just put their feet either side of them

It's the mark of an adult to do their utmost to ensure the decisions they take do not have a negative impact on their neighbour. Cat owners can cat proof their own garden so their cat and it's shit stays on their own property OR they could get a catio OR they could keep it indoors. All adult options. However those options involve having 100% of their cat's shit on their own property so not as attractive of having a cat that goes next door to shit in the neighbour's flowerbed.

But yeh, let's accuse the neighbour who's done nothing wrong except protect her own property if not being the adult.

Cat proofing doesn’t keep them out it traps them in.

Imagine your beloved cat gets into a cat proofed garden. The owners are on holiday for two weeks… they don’t have pets so no one is coming into their house. Your cat is trapped for two weeks in their garden. Lovely life.

Also dogs want to kill cats so let’s not complain when they do grab one hey it’s only nature.

My neighbour did this too, it always amuses me when I see the cat merrily walking along the spikes 😂

Yes but dogs can be trained in a way cats never can. I know my dog would chase a cat/rabbit/bird but is trained so recall is possible

Common sense? He was crapping somewhere.

Are fences between properties not classed as boundary fences? Every day’s a school day!

so why did you say it was your fence?

My cats answer when I call them and give high fives, they know Dam well when they are up to something I don’t like and hear me getting up they scarper from said issue 🤷🏻‍♀️ cats are smarter than dogs. They just trained humans instead 😅

Well now you know. You can cat proof the garden now.

Ah, but there is no law to say you must train a dog not to chase cats. You see my point, I hope.

The OP’s cat is free to roam. The neighbour is free to buy an ‘untrained’ dog.

So whose fence is it? If it's yours you could take the spikes off.

You’re getting a hard time, unfairly I think.
There’s a reason a person can’t be held legally responsible for the actions of their cats, and that’s because you cannot control a cat. There is really not very much you can do, or need to do. The neighbour has chosen passive aggression, all you can do is continue to be friendly.

can I see some validated research about your "cats need to roam" assertion please?

I am a cat person, I have a cat and love them to bits. However, I completely understand that not everyone likes cats and even less people like them crapping in the garden. The fence is in-between both properties, and is presumably her boundary fence? If she's putting spikes on top of her fence, then she's perfectly entitled to do so, and has no obligation to tell you beforehand. If she's putting spikes into the top of your boundary fence, then that's entirely different. You stated that she's not spoken to you for 3 years, actively avoids you and looks at the floor if you say hello. Did you getting the cat, coincide with her stopping talking to you? Or had she stopped talking to you before you got the cat?

Might be worth digging out your deeds as if its in your land/fence I would be removing the spikes and threaten to report her for vandalism.

If it's hers let her crack on go into 'avoid the strange lady' mode from now on.

Of course I understand your point but dogs shouldn’t be out without supervision, cats can be & no cat owner can train a cat to stop toileting outside. I suppose it all affects us differently but I just know that as someone who doesn’t own a cat & has them in my garden occasionally (I suspect they they are there during the night more frequently) I wouldn’t het angry with the owner I just accept that outdoor cats will toilet in my garden sometimes but I do understand the frustration of those it happens to regularly