Page 2 | What to expect 10 year olds to do round the house...

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 2025-04-30T13:26:27+00:00

A friend said her kids do all the laundry... start to finish. I tried this with my kids it lasted one wash and I nagged the hell out of them. Back to me doing laundry. What reasonable house tasks can I get them to take ownership of?

mathanxiety · 30/04/2025 16:14

And if you have boys, they need to be trained to wipe any splashes they leave on ot around the loo. Nobody else should ever have to clean up after them.

DaisyChain505 · 30/04/2025 16:17

These things are best started at a really young age. If it’s taught to them from the beginning that everyone lives here so everybody helps they’re not going to question it when they’re older it will just be second nature.

Even at 3/4 years old they can be helping to tidy up their own toys or carry their own plate back to the kitchen.

It really is about being consistent so thinks become second nature to them. If they get changed and you see dirty clothes on the floor it’s asking them to come and pick them up and put them in the laundry basket themselves rather than just doing it yourself because it’s quicker.

Get a whiteboard/chalkboard for the house that has everybody’s names on and each day a list of small chores they have to complete. Taking the rubbish out, hoovering the front room, watering the plants, emptying dishwasher etc. Make it a rule that nobody gets their iPads, pudding, tv time or whatever you choose until jobs are done.

Dramatic · 30/04/2025 16:18

Oh and it's definitely harder to get them to do things rather than just doing it yourself but you're their parent, it's your job to prepare them for adult life and even if it's hard you need to persevere.

HamptonPlace · 30/04/2025 16:35

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 30/04/2025 14:36

I don't want to pay them for housework (not yet anyway) - I want them to just own a task! They are totally useless and it's my fault completely....

If I didn't pick up after them I would be drowning in tubs of slime and vampire books.

I am in exactly the same position.... path of least resistance... at the time!

HamptonPlace · 30/04/2025 16:43

WhiskyandWater · 30/04/2025 15:39

Mine at 10 did own laundry (not ironing) and put it away. Tidied rooms and changed own beds. Things left out, one warning then bin. They regularly volunteer to set the table and clear away too and to be honest I’m good with this level and can’t see me wanting them to do more. Sometimes I’d like them to do it better (put clothes away rather than on the back of a chair which sometimes happens) but generally they do a good enough job.
Slime is banned in our house after a jewellery box incident 😂

do people still iron? outwith weddings and suchlike?

LightDrizzle · 30/04/2025 16:47

Keep their bedrooms tidyish; wipe up spills or seek help;make their beds assuming they have duvets and help set the table and bits and bobs if asked alongside an adult.

Friends of mine cleaned the whole house everyday, I didn’t like that and wouldn’t expect that of my children.

calishire · 30/04/2025 16:51

MsNevermore · 30/04/2025 14:40

I expect my 10yo to:

Put away her own clean laundry
Make her bed, strip it and put it back together on sheet washing days
Generally pick up after herself

Other than that, she doesn’t have set chores. But I also don’t suffer fools when it comes to the basics I do ask of her.
Bed isn’t stripped? Sheets don’t get washed.
Laundry isn’t put away? I’m not doing further laundry until I get the empty basket back.
Not picking up after herself? I’ll go round picking up items that aren’t put away and they go in what we lovingly call “The Fuck It Bucket” 🫠😂
If it’s still in the Fuck It Bucket after 2 weeks and hasn’t been put away, I’ll assume it’s an unwanted item and either throw it away or donate it, depending on what it is.

OMG I love the idea of the fuck it basket

WhiskyandWater · 30/04/2025 17:19

HamptonPlace · 30/04/2025 16:43

do people still iron? outwith weddings and suchlike?

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Well we still iron things, school shirts and bedding for DCs, bedding and things that don’t hang well for me and DP. Although I don’t do it, I’m lucky enough that my lovely cleaner does it as part of her job when she comes. I’d still iron the same things if I wasn’t able to have her though. I find if I don’t have things ironed I look a mess.

Strokethefurrywall · 30/04/2025 17:22

My boys are 13 & 11 and they unload dishwasher, put a load of laundry on (when asked), put their laundry away, take bins out and vacuum.
13 also makes pancakes at the weekend, bread and cooks dinner on occasion.

Greendayz · 30/04/2025 17:23

I didn't find expecting them to reassemble a bed worked very well as they would forget about it until heading to bed, tired, so just climb in without the sheets on causing the bed to get grubby. Putting their own clothes away and washing up/loading the dishwasher were tasks they were doing by about 10 though.

mathanxiety · 30/04/2025 17:28

Dramatic · 30/04/2025 16:18

Oh and it's definitely harder to get them to do things rather than just doing it yourself but you're their parent, it's your job to prepare them for adult life and even if it's hard you need to persevere.

Yes to this!

Your work changes as children grow, and it should change, because their needs change.

They do not need a parent who cleans up after them. They need a parent who works hard at training them to do more and more of the care and keeping of themselves and make more and more of a contribution to keeping their home ticking over.

outerspacepotato · 30/04/2025 17:29

Tidy rooms, make beds, load and unload dishwasher or wash dishes and put them away, use microwave, run vacuum, dust, clean sinks and toilets and tile, mop, do a load of laundry, feed and water animals, shovel some snow, weeding, depending on developmental level, some basic cooking.

My brother and I were both given household chores really young and I think that's a good thing. I remember standing on a step stool and washing dishes at the sink when I was 4.

ThejoyofNC · 30/04/2025 17:31

HamptonPlace · 30/04/2025 16:43

do people still iron? outwith weddings and suchlike?

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I'm extremely pro-ironing. Although I also have a handheld steamer which is amazing.

MsNevermore · 30/04/2025 17:31

calishire · 30/04/2025 16:51

OMG I love the idea of the fuck it basket

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The fuck it bucket has proven successful so far!!
Highly recommend!
We’ve got L-shaped stairs, so our bucket lives on the first little bit of landing, so both upstairs and downstairs crap can be put in there easily and it’s in a very visible position when the DCs are going up and down the stairs….so ball is in their court entirely regarding things getting dumped/donated 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Boeufsurletoit · 30/04/2025 17:37

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 30/04/2025 14:51

I need a fuck it bucket.

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Me too! My 10 year old puts clothes away and will set the table. Not much else though.

faerietales · 30/04/2025 17:37

When I was 10, I did washing up, made my own bed, tidied my room, put away laundry, vacuumed, emptied bins etc.

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:26

mathanxiety · 30/04/2025 16:12

They should be responsible for -
Their own school lunches.
Emptying their schoolbags regularly and disposing of worksheets or work they've brought home.
Keeping track of when they need PE gear, art supplies, etc. for school and getting that ready the night before.

Making their own beds daily.
Stripping their beds once a week, putting on a bedding plus clothing wash, putting wash out to dry, remaking their beds, putting clothing away or in airing cupboard along with bedding.
Keeping their rooms tidy and clean - all hoovering and polishing and window cleaning.

Helping with meal prep twice a week. They should be learning to prepare a whole meal - maybe Saturday lunch to start with.
Loading or unloading dishwasher.
Bringing their own plates, glasses, mugs, to the kitchen after all meals or snacks or drinks, scraping or emptying, and leaving them wherever you prefer to have them left.

You for your part will need to sit them down and make sure they understand your expectations, including performing the chores and doing them without whining. Make a chore chart and a reminder notice about whining.

Take them to task about whining and do not let things slide. Your management skills are essential here, and you need to be on the ball constantly.

Yes, that means work, but it's essential you do this work. You will be teaching your DCs essential life skills, developing their confidence and self esteem enormously, showing them they are accountable to you (supremely important as the teen years approach), and demonstrating management skills to them too.

You will be training them to transition smoothly into the next phase of their lives, where responsibility and accountability must accompany a certain amount of increased trust and freedom.

All this at age 10????

faerietales · 30/04/2025 19:29

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:26

All this at age 10????

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It's not actually that much is it? It's just listed in a way that makes it seem that way. It's basically:

Get your own stuff stuff sorted for school including lunches
Make their bed
Laundry
Tidy their room
Help clear up after dinner
Load the dishwasher
Help with dinner twice a week.

kwetu · 30/04/2025 19:31

MsNevermore · 30/04/2025 14:40

I expect my 10yo to:

Put away her own clean laundry
Make her bed, strip it and put it back together on sheet washing days
Generally pick up after herself

Other than that, she doesn’t have set chores. But I also don’t suffer fools when it comes to the basics I do ask of her.
Bed isn’t stripped? Sheets don’t get washed.
Laundry isn’t put away? I’m not doing further laundry until I get the empty basket back.
Not picking up after herself? I’ll go round picking up items that aren’t put away and they go in what we lovingly call “The Fuck It Bucket” 🫠😂
If it’s still in the Fuck It Bucket after 2 weeks and hasn’t been put away, I’ll assume it’s an unwanted item and either throw it away or donate it, depending on what it is.

I’m off to find myself a decent receptacle to use as our fuck it bucket! Thankyou!

Assssofspades · 30/04/2025 19:33

My 9 year old dusts the skirting boards, puts his laundry away, does a full tidy of his room, will wash up any bits that can't go in/don't fit in the dishwasher.

MsNevermore · 30/04/2025 19:34

kwetu · 30/04/2025 19:31

I’m off to find myself a decent receptacle to use as our fuck it bucket! Thankyou!

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Hopefully it will prove to be as revolutionary for you as it has for us!

All hail the fuck it bucket!

Ecrire · 30/04/2025 19:35

DS is 9. He tidies his bedroom each morning, empties the dishwasher and puts clean dishes away, and listens to DD5 read over breakfast. He’d rather not do any of these things but he understands being part of a family means some amount of drudgery….

I have no doubt at all that the minute he’s living on his own bedrooms will remain unmade and dishes on the side.

we do what we can!

purpleme12 · 30/04/2025 19:35

Tidy up after themselves
Put washing in washing basket
Washing up
Clean surfaces of kitchen
Clean bathroom
They'd be capable of all them but depends what you want to make them do!

penelopemoneypenny · 30/04/2025 19:42

All mine since they could walk have ‘got involved’ with the housework but by 2-3 years old they would
take their plates out to be washed
load the washing machine
Unload the washing machine
strip their beds
wipe down surfaces (with a wet wipe not actually chemicals)
hoover with a hand held hoover
put any rubbish in the bin
get their own drinks ready for school (water jug with a tap)
tidy their rooms
hang up wet washing
Put away dry washing
wipe down the windows (again without chemicals)
wash the car
mow the lawn
pair the socks cause I bloody hated doing that
etc

were any of the above done quickly or well? Mostly not but it was about getting them into a routine and thinking about it

but certainly by 10 all the above they are more than capable to do with little or no prompt

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:45

faerietales · 30/04/2025 19:29

It's not actually that much is it? It's just listed in a way that makes it seem that way. It's basically:

Get your own stuff stuff sorted for school including lunches
Make their bed
Laundry
Tidy their room
Help clear up after dinner
Load the dishwasher
Help with dinner twice a week.

Show quote history

I don't think they should be making their own packed lunch, nor change bedding (yes help mum but not be responsible for it), nor do other laundry, nor "cook" twice a week when they are still in Primary School.

Still I bet their mum looks relaxed and youthful, so maybe I should stop being such a soft touch and just pour myself a G and T