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Original poster

what would you do 72 years old farmers wife

59 replies

farmerwifesfriend · 30/04/2025 04:19

I live on farm with husband who inherited everything. So I don't have to worry about relatives living with . We don't have any money worries like others have either. I have never had a vacation!! My husband has no desire to go anywhere, even to ocean. He says he has everything he needs right here, and does not understand why I would like to even go away for a weekend... I am in major depression, I live about 100 miles from the ocean and have never been there. I fear I will never see any of the country, any suggestions.

OP posts:
blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 30/04/2025 09:11

I like the way everyone on here is saying 'ocean' right now :)

Kubricklayer · 30/04/2025 09:14

People who have security of a home and no money worries can still be living in prison of sorts. Ironic in the sense it sounds like you're living like a farm animal. Confined to one area, same routine day in and day out.

Don't live your life full of regret, get out there and start living. AS others have suggested pick a date and do it. Take a friend or relative with you for support if you like.

insomniaclife · 30/04/2025 09:15

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 30/04/2025 09:11

I like the way everyone on here is saying 'ocean' right now :)

Because while Britain is mostly surrounded by seas, America has oceans on either side. The words are not interchangeable

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 30/04/2025 09:18

I hear you, my DH is similar and never wants to go anywhere. You know what, though? I go places by myself, life's too short to miss out.
I'm not missing out on places to go and things I want to see just because no-one else wants to or can go with me!
Just had a little mini overnight break by myself actually, it was lovely.
Please don't sit and get upset that you never go anywhere, do something about it if you're able (money and health wise)
Doesn't have to be anything big if you can't afford much.
Just a day to yourself somewhere new, and get to that ocean! Everyone needs to see the sea at some point

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 30/04/2025 09:24

I'm a few years younger than you. About 10 years ago I realised that even though we now had the time and the money my husband had absolutely no desire to see the world. For holidays he just wanted to visit the same three places over and over again (his home country, NY and Bermuda). All lovely places but not enough for me. I resented being restricted and it caused arguments.

Eventually I decided to travel on my own or with friends. I'm away 2 or 3 months a year. I've been all over Asia, Central America and Europe. Sometimes mini-breaks, sometimes a week long package or a cruise, the occasional month long trip. Next year I plan to do a multi destination trip round Africa.

I don't blame DH for not wanting to travel. I suspect he has undiagnosed autism and cannot handle stepping out of his known routines. TBH he can't even contemplate a change as basic as wearing a short sleeved shirt in a heatwave or selling his knackered car for one that actually starts. It's not his fault, it's the way he is wired. But I can't let his issues hold me back.

And on the upside - my frequent absences have resulted in him finding the way to the washer and dryer!

Rhinohides · 30/04/2025 09:36

The language you used makes me think you are in the USA. I love Americans and your husband’s attitude is not unusual for the Americans I have met.
i am also aware a lot of Americans go to Church. Is there a ladies group who could be persuaded to pros trip to the ocean?
Most Americans, especially farmers, drive and think nothing of a long round trip, especially if rural.
can you drive there?
If money and time no problem, book a cruise. It doesn’t have to be a party cruise- Cunard cater for mature cruises and have meetings for solo travellers.
Please see the ocean. It is part of God’s creation.
Bless you

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 30/04/2025 09:48

@farmerwifesfriend
Please tell us what country you're in.

Most of the replies seem to think that you're in the USA & free to travel alone.

dottydodah · 30/04/2025 10:06

Can you not go on a coach trip? Days out with National Express or similar. Quite reasonable and lots of friendly people .what about a railcard ? Lots of deals

Hastentoadd · 30/04/2025 10:12

farmerwifesfriend · 30/04/2025 04:19

I live on farm with husband who inherited everything. So I don't have to worry about relatives living with . We don't have any money worries like others have either. I have never had a vacation!! My husband has no desire to go anywhere, even to ocean. He says he has everything he needs right here, and does not understand why I would like to even go away for a weekend... I am in major depression, I live about 100 miles from the ocean and have never been there. I fear I will never see any of the country, any suggestions.

Just abroad your own / with a friend, if you have no money worries then why not, your husband can look after himself for a couple of weeks if he doesn’t want to go.

In a few years time you may be too old to do it

My father is a farmer ( semi retired now) and he feels like he can never leave the farm as things will go wrong, he does however (with my mother) go abroad for 4/5 days a year but it’s a bit of a struggle to make him go, for years when we were younger and he was busier he wouldn’t go abroad at all

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