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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ok who wants to swap £2500 a month in benefits for my husbands MS and my epilepsy, narcolepsy and fibromyalgia.

1000 replies

bluebirdblackbird · 30/04/2025 02:30

Well according to a lot of people on here we are on a good thing.

the 20 seizures I have in a week, chronic pain and night terrors, losing my memory after a seizure, pissing myself, hallucinations. They are all great fun. Not to mention the amount of times I have been accused of being drunk after a seizure.

or there is my husband. Diagnosed with progressive MS. Cronic Pain, shaking, cronic pins and needles, weakness in limbs plus losing mobility. Had to give up his teaching job 4 months ago after gradually reducing hours.

Not to mention the judgement when we use a blue badge because we look ok in that moment. And apparently labour are going to find us both work. Yippee cant wait to meet the employer who is going to take us both on. I am sure pissing my chair on a reg basis won’t matter to them or the losing counciouness at least a couple of times a day.

i am just fed up of yet another they are on benefits and get money and it’s not fair stamp stamp stamp. The bastards have saved up for a holiday- it’s not fair. The bastards have a mobility car but they look fine, OMG- they have got new carpets or a new sofa.

since I am guessing they none of the moaners would actually swap places with us if they could then STFU.

oh and that pip that is easy to get- my husband gets lower rate for both and that is despite providing all the evidence and appealing so we are off to tribunal. He can’t even dress himself most days and he can’t hold a pan safely or manage his medication plus many other things. If he stays on the points he is on he will lose his pip completely under these new labour proposals.

but most people know someone who’s friends, aunts, nephews, stepdaughters, cousin twice removed who lied and got it. I was taking to a lady in a wheelchair who does not get any mobility component of pip at all.

OP posts:
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Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 14:53

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:52

It’s not that simple though, is it? Someone who has grown up in poverty for example isn’t going to have the same opportunities as someone who hasn’t. Women are at a disadvantage to men just based on their sex. There are many other variables that impact someone’s ability to earn “more” money.

It is that simple in that disability is the biggest barrier. I appreciate the things you have listed are barriers but not in the way disability is

blackgreenandgrey · 30/04/2025 14:54

Sesma · 30/04/2025 07:51

Unfortunately for every deserving person there are probably 10 that aren't

Could you provide some sources for this. By the DWP own statistics, fraught rates are very very low. Where do you get numbers from that 9 out of 10 don't qualify, i.e. a fraught rate of roughly 90%. Could you provide some links?

Flopsythebunny · 30/04/2025 14:54

CantStopMoving · 30/04/2025 14:50

Well first state pension, whilst it is a benefit, is a social contract that you pay in your NI for 35 years to receive it so I don’t consider it a benefit in the same way.

Likewise, Subsidised childcare is used to incentivise women back to work so the exchequer gets extra funds and increases GDP so isn't a benefit in the same way. There is a net gain to the economy subsiding childcare.

in the case of child benefit, I’d have to give that some thought. Ideally no it shouldn’t be used for holidays. Child benefit is to be used for the specific purpose of providing the basic needs for children. If you can do that without the state’s help then should you really claim it? When there is a finite resource available (tax player funds) Shouldn’t that money be targeted exactly where it is needed to get the most benefit out of it?

But surely parents should provide a child's basic needs, not the state

CentralLimit · 30/04/2025 14:54

@Bumpitybumper pitting poor workers against the disabled is a scam. Both groups are getting screwed while the rich are raking it in.

And if you buy into that narrative then you yourself play into the hands of the far right. Appeasement never works, I thought we learned that with Chamberlain.

Ok who wants to swap £2500 a month in benefits for my husbands MS and my epilepsy, narcolepsy and fibromyalgia.
Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:54

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 14:53

It is that simple in that disability is the biggest barrier. I appreciate the things you have listed are barriers but not in the way disability is

I don’t agree - disability is a factor amongst others. Many of which may also not be a choice.

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 14:56

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:54

I don’t agree - disability is a factor amongst others. Many of which may also not be a choice.

So go and campaign for recognition of these other barriers and benefits / allowances for those rather than trying to discredit the disabled populations need for assistance.

Lovelysummerdays · 30/04/2025 14:57

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 14:47

That’s a ridiculous and irrelevant comparison!

It’s like saying someone with cancer in ICU is getting hundred of thousands from the NHS and the average person with no health conditions gets far less from the NHS and it’s not fair!!!

Someone perfectly well working full time and earning less than a disabled person on benefits has nothing to whinge about. Your health is priceless. If you’re in that position and thinking about complaining maybe just stop and check yourself and realise how lucky you are and then think about getting more qualifications and/or a second job. Feel lucky that you are not in pain or with a limited life.

Edited

I think lots of people working full time are in pain though or will have shorter lives due to their working conditions. Male manual labourers are, statistically speaking, going to die 8 years before their more sedentary counterparts.

It’s not a perfectly healthy or disabled, lots of people are soldiering on feeling like shit as they don’t have options.

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:58

Lovelysummerdays · 30/04/2025 14:57

I think lots of people working full time are in pain though or will have shorter lives due to their working conditions. Male manual labourers are, statistically speaking, going to die 8 years before their more sedentary counterparts.

It’s not a perfectly healthy or disabled, lots of people are soldiering on feeling like shit as they don’t have options.

Exactly. Lots of people have health problems. There’s a huge area of grey between well and entitled to state disability benefits.

thegoodlifeha · 30/04/2025 14:59

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:50

I know it’s a wind up but if you qualify for the car you qualify for the badge.

That’s not the case at all. HRM is not an automatic BB. The vast majority of BBs issued are actually to people who get standard mobility with 8 points in ‘moving around’.

I know you are trying to be helpful, but I don’t automatically qualify with my award and my local council have refused me a BB on assessment.

oh, and not a wind up. That’s my genuine circumstances, I was being a bit sarcastic, but the detail is 100% true.

Searchingforthelight · 30/04/2025 14:59

Hope you and your husband are getting as much support as possible
Sounds impossibly difficult

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/04/2025 14:59

Likewise, Subsidised childcare is used to incentivise women back to work so the exchequer gets extra funds and increases GDP so isn't a benefit in the same way. There is a net gain to the economy subsiding childcare.

And similarly PIP is to support disabled people living independently - it supports disabled people to work and to live with less reliance on others. The savings made on reducing PIP for those who qualify would be quickly eaten up by paid care provision and paid for social supports, and people who would otherwise be working needing to claim unemployment benefits.

And given the number of people who complain the cost of childcare exceeds their monthly wage, I doubt theres a net gain in tax payable aside from the personal gain and social benefits of being able to access the workplace. Kind of like with disability benefits.

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:00

Lovelysummerdays · 30/04/2025 14:57

I think lots of people working full time are in pain though or will have shorter lives due to their working conditions. Male manual labourers are, statistically speaking, going to die 8 years before their more sedentary counterparts.

It’s not a perfectly healthy or disabled, lots of people are soldiering on feeling like shit as they don’t have options.

In that case campaign for PIP to be easier to get not harder! Speak up for the rights of all with health issues rather than being bitter about the ones who can access PIP! This is PRECISELY what the government want just everyone exhausted and unwell and burnt out fighting with each other and being jealous rather than joining forces .

blackgreenandgrey · 30/04/2025 15:02

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:58

Exactly. Lots of people have health problems. There’s a huge area of grey between well and entitled to state disability benefits.

PIP is not related to being unemployed. Many people work full time and claim it.

Lovelysummerdays · 30/04/2025 15:02

Flopsythebunny · 30/04/2025 14:54

But surely parents should provide a child's basic needs, not the state

Pretty much every western country (apart from us) provides parents with an additional tax allowance / tax credit as it’s recognised that children are expensive but also necessary.

I dont think raising in children in poverty benefits society either if you want well rounded workers you need to have adequate resource.

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:03

thegoodlifeha · 30/04/2025 14:59

That’s not the case at all. HRM is not an automatic BB. The vast majority of BBs issued are actually to people who get standard mobility with 8 points in ‘moving around’.

I know you are trying to be helpful, but I don’t automatically qualify with my award and my local council have refused me a BB on assessment.

oh, and not a wind up. That’s my genuine circumstances, I was being a bit sarcastic, but the detail is 100% true.

Edited

Some local authorities will only accept the points on a specific descriptor as well it can be really hard to get a BB. I’ve worked to support a few clients and it can be extremely difficult one had to even ask for a review of the PIP points on descriptor E I think to move it from needing assistance/ orientation aid or guide dog to severe psychological distress and they were the same amount of points but the LA would only accept one

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 15:04

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/04/2025 14:59

Likewise, Subsidised childcare is used to incentivise women back to work so the exchequer gets extra funds and increases GDP so isn't a benefit in the same way. There is a net gain to the economy subsiding childcare.

And similarly PIP is to support disabled people living independently - it supports disabled people to work and to live with less reliance on others. The savings made on reducing PIP for those who qualify would be quickly eaten up by paid care provision and paid for social supports, and people who would otherwise be working needing to claim unemployment benefits.

And given the number of people who complain the cost of childcare exceeds their monthly wage, I doubt theres a net gain in tax payable aside from the personal gain and social benefits of being able to access the workplace. Kind of like with disability benefits.

That’s not true - I can’t remember the exact stats but pregnant then screwed have done some maths on this. It actually pays - and significantly so - to subsidise childcare. Women stay employed, have higher earnings over a lifetime, don’t have to rely on benefits etc.

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/04/2025 15:04

in the case of child benefit, I’d have to give that some thought. Ideally no it shouldn’t be used for holidays. Child benefit is to be used for the specific purpose of providing the basic needs for children. If you can do that without the state’s help then should you really claim it?

Child benefit was originally a way of ensuring women with children had an independent income at a time when men were traditionally bread winners. It provided a small universal income to mothers.

Given the utter outcry from people on good salaries who lost child benefit as a result, the idea that it provides for basic needs has got lost somewhere down the line.

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 15:05

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:00

In that case campaign for PIP to be easier to get not harder! Speak up for the rights of all with health issues rather than being bitter about the ones who can access PIP! This is PRECISELY what the government want just everyone exhausted and unwell and burnt out fighting with each other and being jealous rather than joining forces .

The Country can’t afford to support the current cohort who are entitled without broadening the criteria. In principal it sounds lovely but it’s not viable.

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:06

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 15:05

The Country can’t afford to support the current cohort who are entitled without broadening the criteria. In principal it sounds lovely but it’s not viable.

Then the problem is the NHS . Start getting angry about that rather than PIP that you think can’t be afforded.

thegoodlifeha · 30/04/2025 15:06

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:03

Some local authorities will only accept the points on a specific descriptor as well it can be really hard to get a BB. I’ve worked to support a few clients and it can be extremely difficult one had to even ask for a review of the PIP points on descriptor E I think to move it from needing assistance/ orientation aid or guide dog to severe psychological distress and they were the same amount of points but the LA would only accept one

Having the points in the right place is what determines whether the award is automatic or not and it’s set at government level with a slight difference in Scotland to England. An independent assessment is often done when people don’t have the right ‘combination’ of points or don’t claim PIP/ADP at all.

CantStopMoving · 30/04/2025 15:06

Flopsythebunny · 30/04/2025 14:54

But surely parents should provide a child's basic needs, not the state

Well, yes, of course in an ideal world but many can’t which is why we have the benefits system as a safety net. I don’t have a problem with the idea of benefits- everyone should have a safety net of support if needed.

LoveTKO · 30/04/2025 15:10

Hdjdb42 · 30/04/2025 07:51

My sister is on similar benefits and money (in fact more, because she claims DLA for two children too). She take her family abroad once a year and is able to afford new clothes, botox and filler. I do not think that she should have more of a disposable income than me and my husband. The problem is not that she claims benefits, it's that DLA is bumping it to an exceptional level. I do not agree that some people on benefits should get more than a working person. It's tax payers money and feels very unfair.

Edited

I agree with this.

No working person should be worse off than someone on benefits. The working person is paying tax to pay for these benefits to be paid out. Irrespective of what cards we are handed in life, those going out to work should receive distinctly greater amounts than benefits.

The amounts paid in benefits should be reduced. Adding this benefit on top of that benefit and suddenly the amount paid out is the equivalent of a £50k salary (after tax). That is mental.

The amounts of free money paid out, to the increasing numbers of people, is unsustainable.

I, and many people like me, are growing tired of paying for it all.

CantStopMoving · 30/04/2025 15:12

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/04/2025 14:59

Likewise, Subsidised childcare is used to incentivise women back to work so the exchequer gets extra funds and increases GDP so isn't a benefit in the same way. There is a net gain to the economy subsiding childcare.

And similarly PIP is to support disabled people living independently - it supports disabled people to work and to live with less reliance on others. The savings made on reducing PIP for those who qualify would be quickly eaten up by paid care provision and paid for social supports, and people who would otherwise be working needing to claim unemployment benefits.

And given the number of people who complain the cost of childcare exceeds their monthly wage, I doubt theres a net gain in tax payable aside from the personal gain and social benefits of being able to access the workplace. Kind of like with disability benefits.

i am not against benefits and certainly not disability benefit so I agree with you about PIP.

PIP is slightly different other benefits as well as it has a specific purpose to aid you to live you life as independently as possible and potentially go out to work. It is not an income Benefit and it shouldn’t be spent on anything that isn’t specific to your disability. It shouldn’t go on holidays or rent, for example.

But other incapacity benefits are there to provide a basic level of assistance towards living costs to ensure a person has shelter and food. I don’t think it should be used for holidays and if there is enough left over for a holiday then perhaps the person has received too much and that money can be diverted to someone else who needs it more

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:12

LoveTKO · 30/04/2025 15:10

I agree with this.

No working person should be worse off than someone on benefits. The working person is paying tax to pay for these benefits to be paid out. Irrespective of what cards we are handed in life, those going out to work should receive distinctly greater amounts than benefits.

The amounts paid in benefits should be reduced. Adding this benefit on top of that benefit and suddenly the amount paid out is the equivalent of a £50k salary (after tax). That is mental.

The amounts of free money paid out, to the increasing numbers of people, is unsustainable.

I, and many people like me, are growing tired of paying for it all.

Just maybe it’s wages that are the problem not the benefit award amounts ?

CantStopMoving · 30/04/2025 15:14

Yetanothervirus · 30/04/2025 15:12

Just maybe it’s wages that are the problem not the benefit award amounts ?

Not wages, amount taxed is the problem . But taxing people less means less money available for the exchequer

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