I was in blackout and parents haven’t even texted me

[Stopeatingcrispsanddips]

I live in one of the countries where there was a power cut, it was frightening at the time and still feels a bit unsettling. My parents haven’t even WhatsApped us to see how we are (they still live in the U.K.)

Is this normal?

i agree with @Nn9011 The only thing I'd say is don't look at other people's relationships and compare.

We only realise that things are not right when we see how our parents treat us vs how our friends' parents treat them.

When my ExP left, one of my school mum friends said, 'oh its nice that your mum is only down the road, i bet she's a real comfort'

Only that the absolute opposite was true. I had not even fully realised how disengaged she was until then. I'd had MC in the past, no reaction from her at all, she'd ignore me for weeks if she knew things were tough.

@Stopeatingcrispsanddips you are going to have to navigate this realisation that they are not the people you hoped they would be. I'm sorry, it hurts, but you will get past this, and it's better to know now somehow.

Because it wasn't a normal powercut and caused widespread disruption in both Spain and Portugal

BBC and newspapers

But to those who are seemingly criticising the parents - if she's had no contact with them she can't possibly know WHY they've not got in touch. Maybe they would have if they'd known, maybe something dramatic has happened to them.

With no contact or communication at all it's a bit judgemental to just assume they're being uncaring bastards.

Of course if they're normally uncaring bastards, then that's a different issue and maybe going low contact anyway is in order, but that's a different question.

I do think that's bizarre. It was clearly very upsetting and isolating. I've a friend over there but not that close, their phones been off by choice so it's difficult to say really, but I still texted a couple times, and I'm hoping they'll get back to me when they can.
I hope you and family are all alright? And have adequate supplies and stuff back in the shops etc?
I guess they're only excuse could be they were too anxious to know how to help?!

That is utter nonsense (and I was there in the 70s)

It has even wider implications now and it was all over news outlets, radio, TV and the web

I would have thought at least a whatsapp from your parents would have been normal.

I never had anything like what you just went through. But my mum went about 3 months without contacting me when I went backpacking. She said she just assumed I would be fine. Some parents are less concerned

I am not sure why you think you need checking up on as a fully-functioning adult in a powercut. It's frightening that people can't exist without electricity! Anyone over a certain age will remember the 3 day week and not think anything of it. Are you always this dramatic!

If it was the other way around, I may check up on frail elderly parents, but not a normally fit adult.

When we get a powercut here, I do miss the Internet, TV etc but love the fact that I am uncontactable and can go about my day without human contact! I guess it takes different types. I have always had a log fire for heat and cooking as a standby but in this weather, we would use the bbq. It is sensible to have a store of drinking water available but I can manage without most other things for a day or two.

Unless my country was already in a seriously threatened position, I wouldn't automatically speculate that it was a cyber attack or war. That really is over-dramatic. Presumably the hospitals all have stand-by generators these days anyway.

If it was my child - I would text. That being said I only found out about the blackout from tik tok this morning and now I seen your thread. I don't think it is big news as you think.

Someone who lives in a flat in a city and who relies on the internet in order to do their job will have a very different experience, and not be able to have a log fire or a barbecue, or have room to store supplies. It's so weird not to have empathy for people in different situations, or think that people are somehow petty or overreacting when their normality is disrupted in this way with no warning, obvious reason why (like a storm) or knowledge of when it will end.

Isn't it fucking just.

OP, YANBU.

Similar age to me

I knew all about it and I would have tried to contact you

I am not sure why you think you need checking up on as a fully-functioning adult in a powercut.

It was a very wide-spread full outage of uncertain cause, not quite the same as the power going down in a storm.

I check on my fully-functioning adult friends and family over all sorts of things: if they've been unwell, if they're going through a tough time, changes in their circumstances (children leaving for uni, starting school, unwell parents, car being written off.

They are quite able to manage those things themselves, or with support from their nuclear family, but you know....people care about others.

If there was a massive power outage/phones went down etc... my parents would know they wouldn't be able to reach me, so wouldn't try. Instead, they'd expect me to contact them as soon as I could, to let them know I was OK.

I wonder if your parents are miffed you didn't contact them, and you've been waiting for them to contact you...?

I watch the news regularly and also missed this. Unless they are consistent with behaviour like this, I would try to forget about it.

I imagine, as you live apart from your parents that you are an adult. Take the lead and contact your parents…….effective communication is a two way thing after all.

100% this.

It's not something to be brushed off. There were people stuck in lifts who had to be rescued and people having operations in hospitals who had to switch their generators on.

Are your age I was checking up on my parents, not the other way round. Why don't you message them?

I could imagine being upset if my parents didn't check up on my after an earthquake or tsunami in my region (and tbh, mostly they'd be nosy, they don't worry about us any more what with us being grown adults and all). But a power cut? Smh.

Also, everyone saying "In x decade this happened/where I live this happens all the time and we just get on with it" - well yeah, things that aren't completely unexpected are usually easier to deal with, aren't they? Like when people from countries where it snows heavily every winter are surprised that people in countries where it doesn't don't have snow chains for their tyres, etc. If things happen regularly, of course they are less of a big deal.

I watched the news , but I don't think we can all quite comprehend the scale and liken it to extended domestic power cuts , which it wasn’t .

My landline phone plugs into the electricity. My elderly mother has a habit of switching off the power supply to her phone. So when I phone her it doesn’t ring her end. Very frustrating

Most countries where regular blackouts are not a thing people will not have back up generators as standard.

Those posters should say they have regular power cuts, do they cut off the whole country, impact 50 million people plus at a time. Involve flights being cancelled (think 500 were), people stuck on underground trains in tunnels. banking system not being available

In this country if there is a bit more than a couple of inches of snow we grind to a halt because we don’t have the infrastructure to cope with snow as regular snowstorms are not a thing. Likewise we don’t have the infrastructure for hurricanes etc. And we would certainly fall apart if the whole country blacked out

Perhaps your parents don't read or listen to the news like half the people posting here @Stopeatingcrispsanddips!
If they did hear, then I agree that the normal thing to do would have been to message you. Do you generally have a good relationship with them?

Overall, I'm shocked by the sort of responses you have been getting on here. Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with some people but no wonder we have so many problems nowadays when so many people are unnecessarily and deliberately nasty.

I do sort of understand OP, you feel they haven't shown enough care or concern for you and should have realised how scary it must be for you.

When the London bombings happened I didn't get any messages from my family abroad either. It didn't really bother me and I didn't take it as they didn't care though, rather they didn't perhaps grasp how significant it was, shutting London transport and mobile down for the best part of the day and causing fear of more bombs. Eventually a few family members saw some messages from friends on Facebook (mostly UK based people but not in London) checking I was OK and they belatedly thought to ask!

If you feel upset with your parents maybe ask why they didn't message and let them know you'd appreciate them checking up on you where there are these sorts of unusual emergencies. I'm guessing the assume you will let them know if you need any help or update them on what's happening.

Also the fact no one else in the Uk contacted does show that it hasn't necessarily had as much coverage as you think, at least at first, or they didn't realise the impact. I admit it slightly passed me by for most of a day, just being busy and not reading anything online or seeing any news reports.

@DaysEndConfused how did you miss this? Not being goady I am genuinely interested how you missed it, if you are a regular news watcher, rather than someone who sticks their fingers in their ears and ignores all news channels.

Breaking news pings up on my phone so I don’t even need to actively look for big news stories