Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toy guns/weapons

59 replies

MumbleJumble123 · 29/04/2025 15:19

Am I being unreasonable to really, really hate these.
I honestly can’t understand who’s buying them or why anyone would want to buy a replica gun for their toddler/young child.

I’ve just picked my 3 year old up from nursery and another mum has brought a gun to the playground for him to play with during pick up (there’s a small park/plaza outside the nursery where parents take their kids to play if they’re not in a rush).

My son saw the gun and announced ‘I want one too’. I initially just said no like I do with most of the other plastic tat he asks for.
But then he said ‘but I need to kill people, pew, pew, pew’. (He obviously doesn’t actually understand what this means, he’s just copying)

I’m quite upset about this, I really didn’t want him exposed to this stuff so young. Obviously stopping him playing with other children isn’t an option so how do you explain in a way that he understands why they’re bad and why he’s not allowed it.

It feels different to when I just say no because we don’t need anymore dolls, trucks or Paw Patrol dogs.

Am I being unreasonable for having such a strong reaction and feeling like I need to make a bigger deal than when I just say no to other toys.
If so, what do I say/do?

OP posts:
Hottchoc · 29/04/2025 15:23

You are being ridiculous

DancefloorAcrobatics · 29/04/2025 15:27

😁 good luck with that one!

I'm opposed to guns like you. But it didn't stop DS having them... we had a stick collection at some point: machine guns, pistols, knives and he was given a few replica ones. (I did draw a line at nerf guns!!)
He's a lovely teenager now but sadly not grown out of it! So he's a member of the archery club and is in the air cadets for the shooting/ weapons.

Just go with the flow, the more you opposed it the more they want it.

friendsonly · 29/04/2025 15:30

I completely agree.
letting your child (and it’s always boys) have plastic guns/knifes to practice and get enjoyment out of pretending to kill and hurt people is terrible parenting.

Original poster
MumbleJumble123 · 29/04/2025 15:45

DancefloorAcrobatics · 29/04/2025 15:27

😁 good luck with that one!

I'm opposed to guns like you. But it didn't stop DS having them... we had a stick collection at some point: machine guns, pistols, knives and he was given a few replica ones. (I did draw a line at nerf guns!!)
He's a lovely teenager now but sadly not grown out of it! So he's a member of the archery club and is in the air cadets for the shooting/ weapons.

Just go with the flow, the more you opposed it the more they want it.

I know I can’t stop him being exposed to it, but I was just hoping he’d be a bit older and be able to understand a bit more. He still seems so little and innocent that it really bothered me that he was talking about killing people.

When he’s older/a teenager and can understand the nuance I’d be ok with stuff like archery, fencing, cadets, target shooting etc.
I just hate that my toddler is playing a game where he pretends to kill people.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 29/04/2025 15:51

The ones that look like real guns I don't like. That means the aim of the game is to pretend you're killing someone or something. Horrible.
I often see ones that look like AK-47s etc for sale on market stalls. I really hate those.
Nerf, paint or water guns are ok because the aim of the game isn't to pretend you're killing.
At age 3 you could start gently explaining what "killing" means. He probably doesn't understand it yet - because no one has taught him yet.

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/04/2025 16:00

In my experience they get to a stage where anything can be repurposed to play with like a gun. Sticks, whisks, wooden spoons - we ended with with an extensive Nerf gun collection. He’s 12 now and showing no signs of being a mass murderer.

BobbyBiscuits · 29/04/2025 16:05

I think it's a common part of child development to have toy 'weapons'? Maybe not so much now but I remember having toy guns, plastic swords, water pistols etc. it's literally just play fighting. The idea of goodies and baddies.

I don't think I've ever heard a court case where a kid stabbed someone up and their defense or the prosecution blamed it on the fact they had a toy sword when they were four?

minnienono · 29/04/2025 16:08

Unfortunately even if you ban guns they seem to improvise, old bottle, wooden brick, stick … I banned them and one dc is an officer in the military, seems they are interested in things you say no to!

GoodCharl · 29/04/2025 16:10

Just let him be. He only wants a plastic gun for goodness sake

Needmorelego · 29/04/2025 16:13

Even without having pretend guns or swords the urge to play "goodies vs baddies" does seem to be a thing.
When my daughter was in primary a popular game at playtime was Police Interceptors (the Channel 5 programme).
They would run around being the different cars - so obviously some were the criminals, some the cops.

BigHeadBertha · 29/04/2025 16:15

I definitely see why you don't like it. It reminds me of the candy cigarettes, kiddie cocktails, slingshots and other no-nos that were big when I was a child. Fortunately, those kinds of things are more rare than they used to be. So that's some progress, anyway.

However, I think kids also just tend to think grown-up things that they're not allowed to have are exciting. Of course they do. And if you make a big deal out of toy guns, you might just make it seem even more exciting.

I didn't let mine have toy guns but they'd run around the yard "shooting each other" with sticks or their fingers anyway. Of course I'm in the US where there's an entrenched, sick and idiotic gun culture. But my point is that mothers aren't the only influence. But we are still definitely a very strong influence. I'd just calmly keep them out of your kid's toybox and move on to the next horror lol. Good luck with it.

AliceMcK · 29/04/2025 16:17

Given real guns are given to children in America im absolutely fine with toy guns for play here. My DDs have played with them, laser, cap, nerf, water…. My 7yo dd has a very cute pink and white one to go with her Barbie cowgirl costume.

Ive never heard of anyone turning into a psycho from playing with toy guns as a child.

YourWinter · 29/04/2025 16:17

As a tomboy in the early 1960s with a brother and lots of boys in our road, we all played “cowboys and Indians” and none of us grew up to be involved in gun crime. One boy did join the army though.

BoredZelda · 29/04/2025 16:18

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/04/2025 16:00

In my experience they get to a stage where anything can be repurposed to play with like a gun. Sticks, whisks, wooden spoons - we ended with with an extensive Nerf gun collection. He’s 12 now and showing no signs of being a mass murderer.

We just used fingers when there was nothing else we could use.

Needmorelego · 29/04/2025 16:20

I think the best thing to do is focus on it all being pretend and when someone is "shot" they aren't "dead" they are just out of the game.
Teach children to say "you're out" not "you're dead".
If that makes sense.

AnotherNaCha · 29/04/2025 16:21

I agree with you. The fact my partner bought one for his son (who then proceeded to “shoot” me in the face with it) makes me question him as a person. There’s really no need! Water squirters I’m ok with. But why anyway would want to see their kids pretending to kill other people - which is what giving them a toy gun is doing - beggars belief

Biker47 · 29/04/2025 16:22

Can't wait till my kids are old enough for nerf guns, then again when they're old enough to come target shooting with me and my real firearms.

MsNevermore · 29/04/2025 16:24

I feel like I have a different perspective on this now that I live in the US with the gun culture being what it is here.
When I was in the U.K. it wasn’t something I ever really thought about - toy guns/weapons were always banned on school dress up days etc and that was really the only time it came up.
My DH works in high level law enforcement. And while we are on US soil, he has to carry a gun every single day for work. The day we moved into our new house, he had the “gun talk” with the DCs. We have a biometric gun safe in our walk-in wardrobe that only opens in response to DH’s thumb print, and the DC’s know the rules: you don’t go into our bedroom without an adult and you don’t go into the wardrobe for any reason at all. DH got the gun out, showed it to them, let them handle it (unloaded of course!), took it apart, showed them all the parts and explained what they do and how they work together to make the gun work. He showed them bullets and explained how they work. He went HARD on the danger and ultimately what a gun is for: they kill people. It removed the mystery of it for the DC’s but also hammered home that guns categorically are not toys. My DS (he’s 8) has been to the shooting range with DH and seen target shooting etc and he does have NERF guns with little target set up in the garden. I have no problem with it now because after the real gun talk with DH, he fully understands that playing at shooting people, even with a NERF gun isn’t ok, but having them and shooting his targets? That’s very different.

Original poster
MumbleJumble123 · 29/04/2025 16:39

Needmorelego · 29/04/2025 16:20

I think the best thing to do is focus on it all being pretend and when someone is "shot" they aren't "dead" they are just out of the game.
Teach children to say "you're out" not "you're dead".
If that makes sense.

I like suggesting that he describes it as ‘out’ rather than ‘dead’. He already has ‘water squirters’ that are tube rather than gun shaped.

OP posts:
Rocknrollstar · 29/04/2025 17:09

I didn’t want to buy DS toy guns so he made them out of Lego.

Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 29/04/2025 17:15

I didn't allow DS to have guns, neither did most of his friend's parents. One day (aged about 7/8 he was playing with lego with a friend. They made guns & were 'shooting' each other with them. I said 'DS, DS friend, you know that your mummy & me don't like guns because the only games that you can play with guns are games about hurting people' to which DS replied 'they're not guns, they're water pistols' 🙃I have to confess that had trouble keeping a straight face at that. I muttered something about pistols being guns no matter what they fired & suggesting that we build a space station instead.

Original poster
MumbleJumble123 · 29/04/2025 17:20

I see from most of the comments that I’m maybe being a bit over sensitive.
He’s only just turned 3 so I wasn’t really expecting this yet (none of the books/TV he reads or watches have guns).

I think I’d be a bit more relaxed about him pretending with his fingers/lego/a stick (although I still wouldn’t love it).
I think actually buying a toy gun that looks like a gun for a very young child just feels wrong when there are so many non-weapon toys to choose from.
It just makes me a bit sad that he’s already being exposed to this stuff, although I do accept that I can’t control it and probably shouldn’t make a big deal about it.

OP posts:
StellaRiver · 29/04/2025 17:22

Sometimes I wish I can see the face of these posters. They must have bought some guns to their children to think it’s acceptable. We learn also with play. Guns are a HUGE NO!

MissyB1 · 29/04/2025 17:22

I've raised three boys without any toy guns in the house, they don't consider themselves deprived, and their bollocks didn't fall off! I don't agree with weapons as toys because I don't see emulating violence as much fun. But then again I didn't encourage wrestling with each other either, which some adults seem to think is an essential part of child development. My boys did play lots of imaginary games, and it's possible they used sticks or lego, but I don't regret not buying toy guns.

comoatoupeira · 29/04/2025 17:24

@MumbleJumble123 you are not being over-sensitive, these posters are bonkers.
Remember lots of posters on MN are Americans!