Toy guns/weapons

[MumbleJumble123]

Am I being unreasonable to really, really hate these.
I honestly can’t understand who’s buying them or why anyone would want to buy a replica gun for their toddler/young child.

I’ve just picked my 3 year old up from nursery and another mum has brought a gun to the playground for him to play with during pick up (there’s a small park/plaza outside the nursery where parents take their kids to play if they’re not in a rush).

My son saw the gun and announced ‘I want one too’. I initially just said no like I do with most of the other plastic tat he asks for.
But then he said ‘but I need to kill people, pew, pew, pew’. (He obviously doesn’t actually understand what this means, he’s just copying)

I’m quite upset about this, I really didn’t want him exposed to this stuff so young. Obviously stopping him playing with other children isn’t an option so how do you explain in a way that he understands why they’re bad and why he’s not allowed it.

It feels different to when I just say no because we don’t need anymore dolls, trucks or Paw Patrol dogs.

Am I being unreasonable for having such a strong reaction and feeling like I need to make a bigger deal than when I just say no to other toys.
If so, what do I say/do?

OMG BigHeadBertha candy cigarettes!!! I remember them - imagine giving a child a sweet replica of a cigarette now, including a red bit on the end?! 😨

I also remember at infant & primary school (I started school in 1968) we would be asked to bring our father's old tobacco tins in to keep crayons in. They never imagined that our parents didn't smoke because most people did. I like to embarrass my uncles with pictures of them proudly holding my baby cousins with ciggies in their hands & mouths - their adult GC are horrified.

We have a nearly 5 year old boy and we don’t have won’t have toys guns or knives in the house.

Why should children be playing with a replica of something thats illegal unless you have a license?

Water guns are a different story as it’s very clear the aim is to get someone soaked.

I fully accept that some parents don't want their child to have toy weapons.

I object to the very clear implication that those parents who do are, by definition, bad parents.

Why?

Does playing with guns make you likely to use them later on?

They must have bought some guns to their children to think it’s acceptable. yes, and?

I also bought them toy kitchens, I am not convinced that they are enough of an incentive to make them cook diner for the family later 😂

Don't buy guns if you don't want to, I judge people who buy cleaning appliance for their kids, but each to their own. Just don't get upset if your kid play my kids weapons when come for a playdate or a sleepover. When they are older, they seem to all love Nerve Guns, then they go on to paint ball. Big deal.

I don’t think toy guns automatically turn kids into school shooters, but I do believe they can encourage certain behaviors, just like some violent video games.

Saying that toys are just for fun misses the bigger picture—play is a huge part of childhood development, helping kids build cognitive, social, emotional, and physical skills.

Studies have shown that when boys play with dolls, it can boost their empathy. So, imagine the kind of influence a toy gun might have.😉

Presumably you never watch action movies, police shows, or anything where a character gets killed. After all that would be you finding those sort of things entertaining.

I guess you don't let them play fight either.

It’s interesting you use the example of the toy kitchen, I definitely see a link between my son playing with it and him wanting to get more involved in cooking for real. He also watches me cook in the kitchen and then goes off to his play kitchen to try and copy what I’m doing.
I really do see a link between how they play and what behaviours are normalized (e.g. my son uses the same phrases we do when he ‘parents’ his dolls, or he uses his little toy figures to act out stories he’s seen in books/TV).

I’m also genuinely curious why you judge parents who give their children toy cleaning equipment. My son loves to help clean and the mini sets of brushes/mops/cloths are something he’s really drawn to.

Cooking dinner for the family is not illegal or fatal (unless you’re a really bad cook) so to compare toy guns to a toy kitchen isn’t really right.

I just think the only reason to have real guns and knives is to cause serious harm or death or war and all of those things are tragic.So why play with fake ones?

Paint balling and water fights are different in my eyes.

I’m also genuinely curious why you judge parents who give their children toy cleaning equipment.

It's just a bit sad, to try to push kids to become good little housekeepers.
Don't get me wrong, preschoolers seem to generally love helping with dusting, dishwasher and everything. It doesn't last 😂

I really do see a link between how they play and what behaviours are normalized
I really don't. We all played with guns when we were little (I mean everyone around me), most of us didn't join the army or the police, let alone became serial killers.

When you see little girls using dolls to beat the crap out of each other, I am not sure it makes them maternal either 😂

Paint balling and water fights are different in my eyes

paintballing is literally shooting at someone and prove that you "killed" them. You have the bruises to show it.

I am not sure how that's any different, surely it's worst if you go that way?

the point was more than having a toy doesn't seem to impact the way you chose your hobbies later on.

Toy kitchen don't make you cook when you are old enough to do it, playing with gun doesn't follow you later on, or everybody would try to join army and police - and there's nothing wrong with that.

I shoot A4 pieces of paper with concentric circles drawn on them with my firearms.

I agree with you completely, OP. The only gun we have is a water pistol and I'm not completely comfortable with that 😂

DH came home with a small nerf gun and I discreetly recycled it after a short period.

They do have little archery sets however with a target.

@BankHolidayBonanza but you don't actually kill someone with paintball. You cover them with paint to make them "out" of the game.
Paintball is usually played by teens/adults so they might say the phrase "you're dead" but they are old enough to understand the difference between real life and a game.
Younger children won't understand so the language used should be differently for that age group.
Water fights or Nerf fights aren't about "killing".

My mum bought me and my sister play toy guns and knives when we were little. Almost certainly because (a) she loved playing cowboys when she was little and (b) because she wanted to make sure we had a mix of toys that some people would have said were “for boys”.

Happy to report neither of us are in any way violent or ever planned to use guns.

We relented first on swords and then on nerf guns. They’re brilliant fun. I think if we lived somewhere where guns were actually a problem, or if I knew of anyone personally affected, I’d have been far more reluctant, but here, it just feels v far removed from any real danger. Happy to report so far the two teens are v gentle non violent types, despite the great nerf gun arms race of 2015.

I bought a cople of big nerf guns for my DS. Literally the only interesting thing that ever happened with them was that one was left in the garden over winter and we found it completely filled with an ants nest in the spring. The whole thing was full of soil and ants. We often talk about it still because it was fascinating.

The guns were rarely fired, because picking up the bullets was tedious and hard work.

Having said that, DS's friend was a bit obsessed with nerf guns and super-soakers. His parents told him that if he worked mega-hard and had lots of tutors, they would send him to the private school where he could learn to fire a real hand gun. He fell for this hook line and sinker, and worked his socks off.

My DS would have hated that and is just not into guns.

So I think it depends a bit on the child. I don't know anyone coming to actual harm from a nerf gun or super-soaker except when my DS got shot in the face at close range with a super-soaker. That put him right off, but again, that is quite a good lesson with fighting of any kind. He was unhurt.

Yes I won't buy toy weapons and won't allow them in the house. Not even water pistols here.

Am on the hunt for a pacifist friendly water shooter if anyone's seen any! I don't mind the squirting. Just nothing gun shaped.

@LegoLandslide we used empty washing up bottles for water fights back in my youthful days.

@Needmorelego alas we refill those at the refill shop! Good suggestion though!

Study sponsored by Barbie

Reminds me of that famous photo, where a little girl was given toy car to play with.
Kids will end up doing what they want, and pretend play in the direction they want

People are free to parent the way they like, I just don't see the problem with toy guns, because we all had them, made of wooden stick or actual toy, and no harm was done. Kids play at being firemen, policemen, soldiers, warriors, bad guys and good guys.

We have a dolphin one similar to these: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0919C1GRS/ref=sspa_mw_detail_0?ie=UTF8&psc=1&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9kZXRhaWwp13NParams

Condoms are great for water fights (uni age) but for kids I think small balloons are more appropriate 😂

Terrible for the environment though because it means little pieces of broken balloon everywhere.