To think people should stop pretending they don’t care?

[SnugShaker]

There’s this trend where people act like they’re completely unbothered - about relationships, friendships, opportunities - like indifference is some kind of power move. But isn’t it just fake?

In the end, if you actually care but keep pretending you don’t, that desperation will show in other ways. Wouldn’t it be better if people were just honest about what they want instead of playing it cool to the point of looking ridiculous? Or is there something to be gained from the act?

I often think that if I thought that MN was a genuine example of how most people think, I'd become too stressed to ever go out in public again! But then I remember that just like we see more "bad" men on MN because we don't usually post about the "good" men, the many people who haven't got worked up because a friend came round when they hadn't vacuumed, are also the ones who are not posting. So I hear you!!!

I have a good friend, a thoroughly sane individual, who was on Mn when her children were little and told me she'd had to leave because she realised when she was out and about with her two autistic sons that she was prone to imagine the other people in the supermarket thinking 'Mn things' about noise or tantrums or one of the boys sitting in the trolley, and it made her extra stressed.

And she's no overthinking, shrinking violet. She just said she realised it gave her unhelpful thoughts about other people's thought processes.

@Oceanically I can totally see that. On a normal day, I just shrug stuff I see on MN off or perhaps think, "okay, that's interesting - I hadn't even realised that could be an issue for some people so I'll maybe keep a vague eye out" but if I was in a place of vulnerability, it might be a lot harder to do that.

But I also have a very good RL mum friend who has a similar atittude to me so we also use each other for sounding boards/venting when we see weirdos in real life getting worked up about things. Our kids are at Duke of Edinburgh stage now so we've spent a lot of time rolling our eyes at each other and ranting about the crazies on the parent whatsapp groups!

JadziaD has a good point. I have a "Rescuer" type friend who is always trying to fix other people and tell them what they should be doing, so l don't tell her many of my issues as l don't want her advice.
Also, some people mind about everything! Being laid back about stuff which makes other people froth isn't trying to be cool, it's just different priorities.

I care what people close to me think i really don't what randoms on the internet,forums, social media or sfrangers think an i think people think too much and over complicate things these days for some people it seems a hobby

Or there is people who think everyone is judging them every time they leave the house, I don't judge people like that so why would they judge me?

Can't think of any other scenario but if i don't care I don't care if t is not that deep

I don’t really know what you mean. I haven’t noticed anyone doing this, but then I do tend to take people at face value.