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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that having a mammogram carried out by a man is preferable to a long wait for an appointment.

897 replies

JudithOnHolidayAgain · 29/04/2025 08:29

I know many people who wouldn't be here now without early detection of breast cancer due to the screening programme.
I have had a few myself.
It's not something I look forward to but it's a few minutes of discomfort that could save my life so I put up with it.
Given the choice I would prefer a woman carry it out as it is quite intrusive but as there is a shortage of female staff I would be ok with a male member of staff as long as there was a chaperone and Iwas told in advance.
If they do change the rules I think there should be a choice.

OP posts:
FlakyCritic · 30/04/2025 10:10

C8H10N4O2 · 30/04/2025 09:57

So you have made a huge number of posts hectoring women on the subject and you have precisely zero experience of that subject but you have read the book?

Fuck me, I’ve spent a lifetime experience mansplaining, mostly its been from actual men.

All the whataboutery - bottom line, we don’t have a choice beyond take it or leave it. We can only express a preference.

My GP practice has both sex GPs. My neighbour's practice is two men. You can’t change practice in this area - you can ask but none of the practices are taking new patients. This is in a busy urban area and its pretty much impossible to change GP. In rural areas its even harder to change GPs or exercise the mythical choice.

Stop spouting propaganda based on “what you have read” and try listening to women who have experienced the practicalities of your theoretical knowledge. “Choice” is completely illusory where one of those choices doesn’t actually exist.

And the only poster she 'believes' is the one who clearly lied about having a mammogram and has been called out by a few people on it.

heffalumpwoozle · 30/04/2025 10:10

I think it just comes down to the NHS not being clear enough. So many people misunderstand and are under the impression you're entitled to choose the gender of your clinician. You can't. You can decline treatment or care if it's by someone you don't want to help you. But you have zero right to demand something that might not even be able to be offered.

@BlueCleaningCloth Patients have every right to request a clinician of a certain gender. It is in the NHS framework and they must then make efforts to provide what the patient requests.

It doesn't mean it will always be available as quickly - there might be a delay - but patients absolutely have the right to request it and also to refuse treatment from any clinician for any reason.

It may be to their own detriment if they choose to do that, and they may end up not being treated if they refuse the only available option, but that is their right.

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:12

FlakyCritic · 30/04/2025 10:04

I cannot wait for these ignorant posters to have their mammogram! I cannot wait! We know they will change their mind when they have it, but we also know they will never come back on here and admit we were right.

Okay how’s about I message you in about 10 years or so when I have had one?
What about the ones who have had a mammogram and still say they’d be happy for a man to do it? Will you respect their view or are they ignorant and deluded too?

BlueCleaningCloth · 30/04/2025 10:13

If people are worried a male clinician has chosen the job to get their rocks off, they must be at a loss when it comes to gay male clinicians or gay female clinicians!

The notion someone needs to have been through an experience to be a good clinician is bonkers. We wouldn't ever say only cancer survivors can be oncologists, only people who've had perfect long marriages AND experienced marital strife should be couples therapists, that only people who've had a loss should be bereavement counsellors, that only people who've had mental health problems should be mental health nurses. Way to try and gatekeep people from helping professions. I'm sure that'll help the public.

Our midwife said he went into the field after seeing his kids be born, but I would never say I prefer him to a female midwife that is childfree. People have training for a reason. You don't become better at something just because you experienced it.

tortieCatLover · 30/04/2025 10:15

Most screening programs have a risk benefit analysis - there not all good there will be false postives.

NHS does give reason why it's over 50 - the an uptick in occurance post 50 for breast cacner and younger women denser breast tissue which make it harder to stop with mamograms.

There been an uptick of cancer in younger people in last few decades - not sure if breast cnacer is one of them but if there has been sure NHS would look again at their age limits.

My Mum and MIL both hated mamograms but did them routinely to reduce their risks but they'd have both had women doing them.

I'm not sure but suspect at least for Dmum a man doing it she'd have declined or put it off even more. MIL I think would at least try - but she has a recent bad experience with GP over a year ago having waited to see them -till serious and clearly not clearing up on it's own -about knee pain - got utterly dismissed took a year of gentle pressure and encouragement from FIL, me and DD1 and year of ever increasing pain and lack of moblity to get her to go back and luckily she had one who sent her for x-ray and found the problem.

I can see why cancer charities are worried about increasing disengagement if this went ahead - and it would likely be quiet disengagment.

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:15

C8H10N4O2 · 30/04/2025 09:57

So you have made a huge number of posts hectoring women on the subject and you have precisely zero experience of that subject but you have read the book?

Fuck me, I’ve spent a lifetime experience mansplaining, mostly its been from actual men.

All the whataboutery - bottom line, we don’t have a choice beyond take it or leave it. We can only express a preference.

My GP practice has both sex GPs. My neighbour's practice is two men. You can’t change practice in this area - you can ask but none of the practices are taking new patients. This is in a busy urban area and its pretty much impossible to change GP. In rural areas its even harder to change GPs or exercise the mythical choice.

Stop spouting propaganda based on “what you have read” and try listening to women who have experienced the practicalities of your theoretical knowledge. “Choice” is completely illusory where one of those choices doesn’t actually exist.

Fuck me I have hectored nobody. I have expressed a view. My view. I have respected the views of others and I fully support women having a female mammographer. Absolutely no question.
YOU on the other hand have repeatedly told me that I don’t have a clue what I’m on about and that I couldn’t possibly make a choice about my own fucking body. That is so patronising and insulting.

BlueCleaningCloth · 30/04/2025 10:16

heffalumpwoozle · 30/04/2025 10:10

I think it just comes down to the NHS not being clear enough. So many people misunderstand and are under the impression you're entitled to choose the gender of your clinician. You can't. You can decline treatment or care if it's by someone you don't want to help you. But you have zero right to demand something that might not even be able to be offered.

@BlueCleaningCloth Patients have every right to request a clinician of a certain gender. It is in the NHS framework and they must then make efforts to provide what the patient requests.

It doesn't mean it will always be available as quickly - there might be a delay - but patients absolutely have the right to request it and also to refuse treatment from any clinician for any reason.

It may be to their own detriment if they choose to do that, and they may end up not being treated if they refuse the only available option, but that is their right.

Edited

Yes, that's right. People cannot choose to be provided with a clinician of their preferred gender. They have a right to ask, and the NHS must make reasonable efforts to provide what the patient requests. What is 'reasonable' will differ depending on resourcing. And you're absolutely correct, as I mentioned, people can refuse treatment for any reason they wish. That doesn't mean treatment will automatically be provided with another clinician.

Some patients will choose to forgo screenings or interventions if they aren't comfortable with the clinician offered to them, which is their right. If another option isn't available, that's their right to choose not to access treatment. The NHS will still have met its duty, unless it deliberately chooses not to offer an available female clinician to someone who wants a female clinician for arbitrary reasons.

This gets lost in the sauce a little with patients presuming they have an absolute right to demand a certain clinician and assuming they'll be given their request.

If a gynaecology department has only two male gynaecologists then patients could choose to go to another hospital with female gynaes, though they would incur the burden of travel.

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:16

BlueCleaningCloth · 30/04/2025 10:13

If people are worried a male clinician has chosen the job to get their rocks off, they must be at a loss when it comes to gay male clinicians or gay female clinicians!

The notion someone needs to have been through an experience to be a good clinician is bonkers. We wouldn't ever say only cancer survivors can be oncologists, only people who've had perfect long marriages AND experienced marital strife should be couples therapists, that only people who've had a loss should be bereavement counsellors, that only people who've had mental health problems should be mental health nurses. Way to try and gatekeep people from helping professions. I'm sure that'll help the public.

Our midwife said he went into the field after seeing his kids be born, but I would never say I prefer him to a female midwife that is childfree. People have training for a reason. You don't become better at something just because you experienced it.

100% this

Coldasicecreambutstillassweet · 30/04/2025 10:17

C8H10N4O2 · 30/04/2025 10:02

You can only get mammograms under 50 in England if you have a family history of high risk (and in most areas it needs to be quite high to qualify). Otherwise you have to pay privately until you qualify at 50.

The system is quite patchy and not always easy to access. There are many, many things which could be done to improve uptake and success as well as staff recruitment before defaulting to male mammographers. In my area the bigger problem is getting women to attend at all, that will worsen if they can’t guarantee female care (a concern expressed by the cancer charities).

They would also perform a mammogram to under 50s if you notice any breasts changes. I’ve had a mammogram age 40 when my nipple inverted, they did refuse one however when I had a lump age 45 when breastfeeding, they did an ultrasound instead which clearly showed the problem

ps love the username, reminded me to fuel up 🫖

BlueCleaningCloth · 30/04/2025 10:22

Here is some clarity to those who are confused and unsure about whether patients can insist on being provided care by a specific gender of clinician, This is from one NHS Trust but they all have equivalent stances:

The Royal Berkshire NHS Foundation Trust employs over 4,800 staff of all genders. We understand that some patients may prefer to see or be treated by a healthcare professional of a specific gender. There is no statutory requirement for the NHS to provide a healthcare professional of a particular gender in any healthcare setting. Under the NHS Act 1990, we have a duty to provide a proper standard of care to all our patients. The Act does not state that care needs to be deliver care by a particular person of a particular gender. You may make a request to see or be treated by a specific gender of healthcare professional. Our ability to respond to your request will be considered on an individual basis. However, it will be dependent on circumstances such as levels of staffing and the needs of other patients. Our prime aim will always be to provide a high standard of care to you. Please be aware that insisting on care or treatment from a healthcare professional of a specific gender may result in delays to your care. While the Trust endeavours to make alternative arrangements based on your request, it may not be possible to allocate a healthcare professional of the required gender

www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/media/gb4pxjda/requesting-same-sex-health-care-professionals_sep23.pdf

Gloriia · 30/04/2025 10:24

'My mum says they are routine and not a big deal. So your view is not universal'

They are routine and not a big deal.

The point of the op however is about do we want men doing them and no, most of us who've had them, don't.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 30/04/2025 10:26

My mum says they are routine and not a big deal

yeah, well she doesn’t want to put you off does she

you have no idea how you will feel after your first mammogram…hopefully you will be absolutely fine with it

Gloriia · 30/04/2025 10:27

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:15

Fuck me I have hectored nobody. I have expressed a view. My view. I have respected the views of others and I fully support women having a female mammographer. Absolutely no question.
YOU on the other hand have repeatedly told me that I don’t have a clue what I’m on about and that I couldn’t possibly make a choice about my own fucking body. That is so patronising and insulting.

You sound very angry. Why are you getting so very wound up and being unpleasant to other posters?

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:34

Gloriia · 30/04/2025 10:27

You sound very angry. Why are you getting so very wound up and being unpleasant to other posters?

lol imagine if I said something like that to some of the other posters on here.
Are you saying women shouldn’t have emotions and should always be calm and collected 😂 (joke)
Im annoyed because I don’t like to be patronised. If I can respect someone else’s choices they can respect mine.

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:36

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 30/04/2025 10:26

My mum says they are routine and not a big deal

yeah, well she doesn’t want to put you off does she

you have no idea how you will feel after your first mammogram…hopefully you will be absolutely fine with it

No, I’m lucky that there’s plenty of others on here instead who do seem to want to put me off so that my mum doesn’t have to do it.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 30/04/2025 10:37

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:36

No, I’m lucky that there’s plenty of others on here instead who do seem to want to put me off so that my mum doesn’t have to do it.

No one has tried to put you off having a mammogram…

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 30/04/2025 10:37

Not on this thread i mean 😀

Gloriia · 30/04/2025 10:37

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:34

lol imagine if I said something like that to some of the other posters on here.
Are you saying women shouldn’t have emotions and should always be calm and collected 😂 (joke)
Im annoyed because I don’t like to be patronised. If I can respect someone else’s choices they can respect mine.

We aren't patronising you we are pointing out until you've had one you're in no position to judge.

Your mum is right they are routine. Just a chew on and I don't want men squashing my breasts into a machine thanks.

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:39

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 30/04/2025 10:37

No one has tried to put you off having a mammogram…

What by describing it as more intimate and invasive than a pelvic exam and saying that the equivalent is someone pressing their body up against you and manipulating your genitals on to a plate? Not off putting at all 👍

Gloriia · 30/04/2025 10:40

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:36

No, I’m lucky that there’s plenty of others on here instead who do seem to want to put me off so that my mum doesn’t have to do it.

Oh who is trying to put you off!

It isn't the mammogram that is the problem it is the suggestion of men doing it that is being discussed.

FlakyCritic · 30/04/2025 10:41

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:39

What by describing it as more intimate and invasive than a pelvic exam and saying that the equivalent is someone pressing their body up against you and manipulating your genitals on to a plate? Not off putting at all 👍

It's the truth though! What do you want us to do.... lie?

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:41

Gloriia · 30/04/2025 10:37

We aren't patronising you we are pointing out until you've had one you're in no position to judge.

Your mum is right they are routine. Just a chew on and I don't want men squashing my breasts into a machine thanks.

And I’m not judging. I am saying women should have a choice and that I and many other women are happy to have a man perform it. I strongly believe that if a woman wants a female radiographer they should have that. i have never suggested you are wrong for always wanting to have a female performing them. I am just saying that I don’t feel the same about myself. You’re the one saying I couldn’t possibly make that assessment.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 30/04/2025 10:42

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:39

What by describing it as more intimate and invasive than a pelvic exam and saying that the equivalent is someone pressing their body up against you and manipulating your genitals on to a plate? Not off putting at all 👍

Some women have found that….its their experience

they are entitled to say what their experience is….no one has done it to put you off

tortieCatLover · 30/04/2025 10:43

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:39

What by describing it as more intimate and invasive than a pelvic exam and saying that the equivalent is someone pressing their body up against you and manipulating your genitals on to a plate? Not off putting at all 👍

You find this off putting but can't understand why posters with this experinced don't want to turn up and find a man doing this.

Luckily cancer charities have publicly expressed concerns about engagment if this went ahead - so have spoken up for those women who this would be a barrier for. We'll have to see what if anything happens.

Finallydoingit24 · 30/04/2025 10:45

FlakyCritic · 30/04/2025 10:41

It's the truth though! What do you want us to do.... lie?

Okay then I’m sure it is

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