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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that having a mammogram carried out by a man is preferable to a long wait for an appointment.

897 replies

JudithOnHolidayAgain · 29/04/2025 08:29

I know many people who wouldn't be here now without early detection of breast cancer due to the screening programme.
I have had a few myself.
It's not something I look forward to but it's a few minutes of discomfort that could save my life so I put up with it.
Given the choice I would prefer a woman carry it out as it is quite intrusive but as there is a shortage of female staff I would be ok with a male member of staff as long as there was a chaperone and Iwas told in advance.
If they do change the rules I think there should be a choice.

OP posts:
SereneSquid · 29/04/2025 16:58

@Sidebeforeself it depends how dense your breasts are. Density increases with age.

SereneSquid · 29/04/2025 16:59

MissyB1 · 29/04/2025 16:58

"Choice is essential" but if there aren't enough female staff to do it then how does the NHS provide the choice?

They already don't. You already have to see a man for some procedures, or see no one. I know.

Finallydoingit24 · 29/04/2025 16:59

MissyB1 · 29/04/2025 16:58

"Choice is essential" but if there aren't enough female staff to do it then how does the NHS provide the choice?

There’s a shortage at the moment. Lots of women would have no issue with a man doing the mammogram so there will be the option of having a woman for those who want that. The profession will likely still be overwhelmingly female.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 29/04/2025 17:03

atthepinkponyclub · 29/04/2025 15:36

As a SA survivor, I was horrified when men came in during my delivery. It was absolutely awful and the thought of it still impacts me to this day.

Same! In an ideal world i think men should just be kept out of intimate care for women- mammograms, smears, labour and birth spaces.

What about breast surgeons ? Mine was a man. He was thoughtful, kind and always had time to listen. He made me feel part of the process and a participant in the decisions, even though l knew the choices were limited, given the situation. I’m a survivor of DV which included SA and it never occurred to me to request a female surgeon because that would have delayed treatment.

SereneSquid · 29/04/2025 17:09

@Lovelysausagedogscrumpy the consultant I saw with a lump was a male Dr who was patronising and rude. I had asked for a woman and was told no, so I do not know if that is why he was horrible to me. I left the clinic and cried.

Americano75 · 29/04/2025 17:13

heffalumpwoozle · 29/04/2025 15:42

If your preference is for a woman you can still ask for one.

The NHS is working in the constraints of the political landscape of the country and the world, and if you haven't noticed, it's on its knees. It does not have a magic wand to recruit more females to train as radiographers. If that is what you want to happen then you need to write to your MP and become more engaged in the issue - but either way, even if you find a solution and get people to listen, it will take a long time to resolve.

In the meantime, it's completely unreasonable to say that men shouldn't do these appointments for the benefit of patients, especially when it is still perfectly acceptable for you, or any patient, to request a woman.

That's twice now you've quoted me and asked about the 'more women needed' thing when if you read back you'll see it was the person I originally quoted who said that. Again, I merely stated my own preference, based on my own circumstances and my own experiences.

I am perfectly aware of the state of the NHS, I am neither stupid nor oblivious of that.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 29/04/2025 17:15

MelindaMermaid · 29/04/2025 15:45

I think what’s clear is that there are people who have never been told they have an invasive cancer that will need surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and years of hormones. At that point I think most people would cease to care about the gender of the people providing treatment.

Yep. This. Very succinctly put. I was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer fourteen months ago. A very large tumour which l would never have detected myself until symptoms developed - by which point survival time would have been compromised and treatment much more invasive.

Most people who have never had a cancer diagnosis can’t imagine the shock and fear that comes with it, and the sense of insecurity it engenders. It changes your whole outlook on life. I couldn’t have cared less what sex the mammographer or the surgeon was, just as long as they could help me. Cancer is always something you think happens to other people. Until it happens to you.

Missey85 · 29/04/2025 17:15

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 29/04/2025 15:35

A man choosing a career in a medical specialism where he knows that many women would prefer a female professional may not be a pervert, but it’s bloody thoughtless and selfish.

A woman could be attracted to such a post to support other women.

How do you know the woman you get isn't a lesbian doing the job to feel up ladies boobs? Why only men?

lifeonmars100 · 29/04/2025 17:18

Finallydoingit24 · 29/04/2025 15:26

Do you feel the same about other areas of medicine? Do you think that someone who works in orthopaedics should have experience of having broken a bone? Or that someone in oncology should have had cancer or had a family member or friend who had had it? Or that a midwife should have given birth?

People go into different areas because they are interested in them and want to help people. Not because they can only empathise if they have personal experience of something. If you think a man would only choose gynaecology because he likes touching women’s vaginas then that should surely apply to anyone of either sex wanting to be a colorectal specialist- they obviously only do it because they like examining people’s butts.

No I don't think that the reason men opt to specialise in gynaecology is because they want access to women but there have been cases of abuse and assault, this case was not in the UK but makes for worrying reading https://apnews.com/article/gynecologist-sex-abuse-5fdbe07e8367927bb720f7b84ce8a825?utm_source=copy&utm_medium=sha

I was sexually assaulted by a male doctor when I was a teenager, guess that makes me ultra wary of the potential for male power in a medical setting.

Sexual assault victims share smiles as they gather for a group photograph after sentencing proceedings concluded for convicted sex offender Robert Hadden outside Federal Court, Tuesday, July 25, 2023, in New York. (AP Photo/John Minchillo)

Gynecologist accused of sexually abusing over 200 patients is sentenced to 20 years in prison

A gynecologist who sexually abused vulnerable and trusting patients for over two decades at prestigious New York hospitals has been sentenced to 20 years in prison.

https://apnews.com/article/gynecologist-sex-abuse-5fdbe07e8367927bb720f7b84ce8a825

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 29/04/2025 17:20

Lovelyview · 29/04/2025 09:35

98% of sexual offenders are male and that includes perfectly nice-seeming professionals. I am baffled that women don't understand the vastly greater risk men pose to them than other women.

I’m baffled that women would put this statistic before screening or treatment for a disease that if left, will ultimately kill them.

Gloriia · 29/04/2025 17:21

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 29/04/2025 17:15

Yep. This. Very succinctly put. I was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer fourteen months ago. A very large tumour which l would never have detected myself until symptoms developed - by which point survival time would have been compromised and treatment much more invasive.

Most people who have never had a cancer diagnosis can’t imagine the shock and fear that comes with it, and the sense of insecurity it engenders. It changes your whole outlook on life. I couldn’t have cared less what sex the mammographer or the surgeon was, just as long as they could help me. Cancer is always something you think happens to other people. Until it happens to you.

Yes we had this chat up thread I said to pp ive had all kinds of horrible investigations and major surgery couldn't have cared less on the sex of the surgeon.

I still don't want a bloke doing my mammogram. They are very up close and personal tests.

DavidsFavouriteGirl · 29/04/2025 17:23

I am happy to have a competent man in any clinical setting (with a chaperone) as long as he isn't pretending to be a woman.

RipleyJones · 29/04/2025 17:23

JudithOnHolidayAgain · 29/04/2025 11:04

The issue is that there are not enough women available to fill all of the vacancies. I would rather have a man carry it out than have to wait longer than necessary. Imagine having to wait longer after finding a lump?

Well it’s not either or. If some women don’t mind their tits being squished and kneeded into place for a mammogram, by a man, good luck to them and they can tick that box, which would naturally make the other queue shorter for women that only want women.

so you wouldn’t have to wait longer if sine women don’t mind it

C8H10N4O2 · 29/04/2025 17:29

Finallydoingit24 · 29/04/2025 16:33

Well there’s one about getting hugs from the radiographer and many about how women “understand” and also people saying that a woman going into this field is likely to do so because she understands it’s uncomfortable for women and wants to provide better care for them. So there’s quite a bit.

I think there are good and bad HCPs of either sex.

Really you think that a male radiographer would or should hug a topless female patient in distress as described in that post?

How many mammograms (especially in portable screening centres) have you personally experienced?

Your comments are very dismissive of multiple women describing the paraticular combination of personal body contact, hand manipulation and eye contact in their mammograms as more intimate than a smear test at the GP (that’s also my experience, plus of course I know my GP and practice nurses before I attend).

Its also all very well saying “choice” but as multiple PP have described - asking for a female HCP doesn’t mean you will get one and if you rock up and its a male you stand a good chance of getting the eye roll or the tutting routine and told to go to the back of the queue. Several posters describing this in their work place seem to think this is quite ok.
That isn’t “choice” and if the NHS can’t provide real choice it needs to stay a single sex service, not least because many women will be deterred and that will add to costs further down the line on top of all the chaperones needed.

JudithOnHolidayAgain · 29/04/2025 17:29

@RipleyJones
But at the moment I couldn't have it done by a man even if I wanted to because its not allowed.
I would happily tick the box if there was one.

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 29/04/2025 17:33

I’d be focussing on the screening results instead of if it was a man or woman doing the test.

heffalumpwoozle · 29/04/2025 17:35

Americano75 · 29/04/2025 17:13

That's twice now you've quoted me and asked about the 'more women needed' thing when if you read back you'll see it was the person I originally quoted who said that. Again, I merely stated my own preference, based on my own circumstances and my own experiences.

I am perfectly aware of the state of the NHS, I am neither stupid nor oblivious of that.

If you quote someone saying that you 100% agree with them then you are agreeing/ saying that it's also your opinion. I don't understand what the problem is.

If you don't want to engage in discussion then don't?

I'm simply addressing the points you made/ agreed with, which are perfectly reasonable but also shortsighted in the current situation.

Americano75 · 29/04/2025 17:41

heffalumpwoozle · 29/04/2025 17:35

If you quote someone saying that you 100% agree with them then you are agreeing/ saying that it's also your opinion. I don't understand what the problem is.

If you don't want to engage in discussion then don't?

I'm simply addressing the points you made/ agreed with, which are perfectly reasonable but also shortsighted in the current situation.

Edited

For the third and final time I'm agreeing with the sentiment of preferring a female practitioner. If it helps I'll reduce my agreement with the poster I quoted to about 75%.

I hope that finally clarifies what I'm actually saying.

Annoyeddd · 29/04/2025 17:41

Also the mammographer needs to be qualified as they need to make sure that the images have been taken correctly and include all the relevant structures so cannot just get a group of women from the street and show them the ropes.
They are also likely to know if there is an abnormality but not allowed to say - they are trained at doing the poker face just like sonographers.
Would people object to a gay man - what about a lesbian.
These are health care professionals.

heffalumpwoozle · 29/04/2025 17:44

Americano75 · 29/04/2025 17:41

For the third and final time I'm agreeing with the sentiment of preferring a female practitioner. If it helps I'll reduce my agreement with the poster I quoted to about 75%.

I hope that finally clarifies what I'm actually saying.

Well yes of course it does help if you actually clarify what your opinion is rather than saying you 100% agree with a post when you don't 😅

Americano75 · 29/04/2025 17:45

heffalumpwoozle · 29/04/2025 17:44

Well yes of course it does help if you actually clarify what your opinion is rather than saying you 100% agree with a post when you don't 😅

I thought I already had but there you go.

Lovelyview · 29/04/2025 17:51

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 29/04/2025 17:20

I’m baffled that women would put this statistic before screening or treatment for a disease that if left, will ultimately kill them.

If you make having a mammogram even more unpleasant then the likelihood is more women will opt out. I'm baffled that you think this is a good outcome.

Jb0011 · 29/04/2025 18:04

Annoyeddd · 29/04/2025 08:52

Really? So if you had a breast lump you would rather wait longer. You do realise that the breast surgeons, oncologists and junior doctors could well be male.
I would be worried if I was a male HCP and there was no chaperone - chaperones are there to protect from the risk of assault and the risk of false allegations.
What is wrong is the reason for needing male mammographers - a shortage of female staff. I would get bored just doing routine screening mammograms on 50-71 year old women every day for years on end as a qualified radiographer.

Im not explaining myself to you,but yes I would risk dying than allow a man near me.

Fr33asaB1rd · 29/04/2025 18:10

Jb0011 · 29/04/2025 18:04

Im not explaining myself to you,but yes I would risk dying than allow a man near me.

Ok the vast majority going by this thread wouldn’t so should have the option of choosing not to die.

Fr33asaB1rd · 29/04/2025 18:11

Lovelyview · 29/04/2025 17:51

If you make having a mammogram even more unpleasant then the likelihood is more women will opt out. I'm baffled that you think this is a good outcome.

Not going by this thread, completely untrue. Many women( the majority) would prefer to be seen sooner and have their risk of dying reduced.